When it comes to friends, in everyones life there's the inner circle, the outer circle and the circles in between. If I'm minding my relationships properly, the ratio of people in the inner circle should be a lot less than the number of friends in the outer circle.
The in-betweens are really more acquaintances who I have varying degrees of fondness for, depending on things like what they do or say, how I feel that day or if they remember my birthday (hint: it's not on Facebook).
The thing about friendships is they aren't always clear cut.
Sometimes people move from one circle to the next, then back again. And the definition of what keeps them in which one is a moving target.
When that happens, the diagram starts to look less like a circle and more like a maze.
The point I'm taking my sweet time getting to is I have a group of friends who, even though I've known them for years, I don't know as well or as long as my best friends. I don't see them as often, yet they're quickly advancing towards the center ring.
These are people I respect. I think are funny. I get excited about seeing a comment from on Facebook or my blog. These are friends who challenge me, and push me past roadblocks to accomplish things I never thought I could.
These are people who aren't afraid to tell me when one of my blogposts starts sounding like an Apple manifesto.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about neediness. I'd call it more of an investment in friendship and feedback.
I feel like I'm rambling a bit here. But only because I'm rambling a bit here.
I'm not going to name names, because I don't want to embarrass anyone or hurt their feelings. Although, really, if you're feelings are so easily hurt by a blogpost that at most three people read on a regular basis, you're probably in the outer circle anyway.
Anyway, next time we meet, if you want to know what circle you're in I'll let you know.
The first time I ever heard of LinkedIn was about ten years ago from my good friend and sometimes art director partner Imke. She told me about it right after I’d come back to my desk after having been laid off from the agency we were working at.
By the way, if you’ve never worked in advertising, all getting laid off means is you showed up one day.
Anyway, Imke explained what LinkedIn was, how it worked and suggested it was probably a good idea if I listed myself on the site. It's probably still a good idea.
But here's the thing: the site has gotten as annoying as Facebook.
I used to draw a line, a thin line but a line nonetheless, between Facebook and LinkedIn. The former was strictly for friends in the real world. The latter was solely for professional relationships and contacts. Admittedly, sometimes they overlap.
What's happened is that the difference between the two sites grows narrower by the minute.
I attribute it to the fact the gang over at LinkedIn has seen the runaway success of Facebook, and they want a taste of it. So they’re constantly revamping their site to be more like FB. Now on LinkedIn, you can post. Leave comments on posts. “Like” a post. Does this sound familiar?
But in the contest for useless features, the winner by a clear margin is the one that lets you endorse other people on your contact list.
Now, let me just say up front, I appreciate and thank everyone who’s endorsed me in all the various categories I didn’t even know I was an expert in. This includes squirrels and plumbing.
And that’s my point. What does an endorsement really mean? What is its value?
Self-esteem wise, it’s a win. I feel great when I see someone has endorsed me for something. Professionally, I just have to believe that while HR people and agency gatekeepers are looking at my LinkedIn profile, they’re not spending a whole lot of time, as my old art director Doug Morris used to say - sorting the fly shit from the pepper - looking through all the little endorsement squares to find out who, for what and why.
After all, endorsements really only mean something if you know who’s doing the endorsing and the weight it carries. Still, always nice to be recognized, even if it is mostly by friends returning the endorsing favor or asking for one.
I'd like to talk about this more, but I have to go fix a leaky pipe in the squirrel cage.
I love my mom. I love my dad. I think sons are the best thing ever. I think daughters are the best thing ever. I think cancer sucks. I'm a great friend. I support the walk. I think dogs have many better qualities than most humans. I think it's a good idea to donate blood.
But I also think I don't have to prove it to you.
Of all the annoying posts on Facebook - and there is no shortage of them - the ones that make me wish my eyes could roll further back are the ones asking me to re-post if I agree.
They're under the guise of a good cause, but the last line is always something aggressively patronizing and challenging like "I know many of my friends won't repost this, but I want to see who will...."
Screw you. Re-post if you agree.
Life is demanding enough without having to prove to you I agree with your cause. And if you think I don't agree with it because I'm not posting, I'm more than fine with that. I've lived through worse.
Plus if you feel you have to "test" me to see if I'll do what you want me to, we're probably not as close friends as you think we are.
Sorry, but you'll just have to trust that I'm a good person, and as a rule love my family and don't wish crippling diseases on anybody.
Besides, if you'd stop testing me to see if I'll re-post, you'd have more time to post things that are actually meaningful.
Like that sunset shot. Or what you had for breakfast.
I hope you're sitting down. I don't know how to break this to you, but my Jedi instincts tell me the best way is to just come right out and say it: there are a lot of babies and whiners on the internet.
I know, I'm as shocked as you are. Shocked.
If you've been on Facebook or Twitter in the last couple days, like me you've probably noticed an ungodly amount of posts talking about how much people hate daylight savings time. How they just. don't. understand. why we have to change the clocks at all. How they're soooooo tired because they lose one hour in 24 out of one day in 365.
I'd like to promise all of you complaining about it that this is not the worst thing that will ever happen in your life. Trust me.
As you might've guessed, I happen to be a big supporter of DST. And I can't even begin to understand why everyone else isn't. There are so many more reasons to like it than not.
Let's start at the wallet. The fact it's light until almost 9 means electric bills go down. Way down for at least six months. Who's against that? Whiners? Anyone?
Next, the hideous commute I'm up against every night seems to get a little easier, because for some odd reason drivers are able to navigate better when they can actually see the road and what's around them. Body shops don't do as well during DST, but they make it up when we Fall Back.
Finally, and this may just be me, but I seem to have more energy. The longer it's light out, the longer I think it's not time to settle in for the night. I'm out and about longer getting more done. Not just more of what I have to do, but more of what I want to do.
So for all the whiners out there bitching and moaning about switching All The Clocks In The House! ahead and losing your precious hour, I say this with love: just shut up.
You'll get your hour back in November.
Look at it this way. Now that the day's longer, you'll have more time to think of something else to complain about.
Ever been with people when they fish for compliments? They'll say something like, "Doesn't this flowered hat with the lace veil look great?" Or, "Can that Tommy Bahama make great looking shirts or what?!" To me, there's always a certain sadness and desperation to it.
I feel the same way about posting birthdays on Facebook.
Now before I get the flack I already see coming from my friends who post their birthdays, let me say this: I do enjoy you giving me the opportunity to wish you a happy birthday.
I'd just rather you let me remember to do it on my own. If we're good enough friends, I will.
When you list your birthday for the world to see, my wishes for a great day mean nothing. They're lumped in with the list of birthday wishes from your other FB friends. I didn't have to remember your special day. It didn't take any effort on my part. You weren't making yourself special enough for your really good friends to think of you.
Instead, essentially, you fished for everyone to wish you a happy birthday. Wishes like that are as genuine as Mitt Romney's concern for the middle class.
As you might've guessed, my birthday isn't posted on FB. Yet on that day, on my wall, I receive birthday wishes from good friends who take the time to remember. It means the world to me because I know they've made the effort, instead of just shifting into auto-response when they saw it on the corner of their page.
It seems to me it's just one more example of Facebook revealing its true identity: anti-social network.
At any rate, please be sure to also list the date and time of your birthday party.
I'm always up for free cake with 847 of your closest friends.
Yesterday General Motors made the overdue decision to pull all paid advertising from Facebook. My question is what took so long? And how long will it be before other companies come to the same conclusion?
As I've said many times, including here, online advertising just doesn't work as advertised.
I'm also a bit glad. Facebook has played fast and loose for so long with its privacy terms - weighing them mostly in their favor - that I can't be sorry they're taking a hit, albeit a small one, financially.
I know it seems like I'm biting the hand that feeds me. Lord knows it isn't the first time and it won't be the last. But the fact is that with so few people actually clicking on internet banner ads, page takeovers and in-app advertising to Learn More, Get Info or Buy Now, it's just not worth the expenditure.
It was only a matter of time before companies wised up. It's just surprising it was GM, not a company known for making prudent financial decisions in the past.
As both advertisers and users grow weary of Facebook and leave, which has already begun, Facebook will have to try to reinvent itself in a way that gives the customers what they want. And what they want, as proven by their total disregard for Facebook ads, is less advertising.
That's not going to help the projected earnings statement promised to investors in this week's IPO.
On the other hand, as a lot of companies head for the exit, it's going to give smaller ones the opportunity they wouldn't have otherwise had to reach whoever is left on Facebook.
Every clock in my house reads, acts and sounds different from the other ones.
Not unlike my high school girlfriends, some are fast, some are slow. Some are loud, some are quiet. Some are easy to read, others not so much.
My friend Kelly Kliebe posted a picture of the Word Clock on his Facebook page awhile ago (although interestingly, he didn't mention what he had for breakfast, which team he was rooting for, or how I could get free tickets on Southwest).
The minute I saw it I had to have it.
For obvious reasons, it's a real writer's clock. And if I ever run into a real writer, I'll make sure and tell him about it (who of us didn't see that one coming?). Because the time is in words, there's no mistaking what time it actually is. I don't have to make an educated guess about the proximity of the hands to the numbers. There's no annoying ticking while I'm trying to sleep. And it serves a dual purpose: it also makes a great nightlight.
I ordered it from Doug Jackson at Doug's Word Clocks in Australia. I ordered it at the beginning of December, and actually forgot that I did until it arrived today.
Time gets away from me like that sometimes.
On his page you can see some of the variations in colors and materials you can order. I know it'll come as a surprise to all who know me that I chose black. Each one is custom ordered and hand-made, which makes it even more special. And more expensive.
I can see from the clock on the wall that IT IS TWENTY MINUTES PAST EIGHT.
I think if I'm going to be honest with myself - which so rarely pays off - I have to admit that the thrill of Facebook has been gone for some time. I still have my account, but mainly as a way of linking my fabulous, intelligent, discerning and loyal readers to this blog.
Don't get me wrong: sometimes, when the mood strikes, there's just no substitute for knowing what my friends had for breakfast, how they're feeling, what they're watching, who they're with, the latest new age quote they like, seeing pictures of their dog (cat, parrot, fish, etc.), reading which team they like/don't like, linking to their blogs, reading what they think of the weather and seeing that video clip from YouTube that's been posted to my wall ten times because, let's face it, my friends have the same sense of humor as I do.
But lately the mood for all that isn't striking very often. And after the Facebook experience I had over the weekend, I imagine it will strike a lot less.
Like most people on FB, I have different circles of "friends." There's the inner circle, the next to the inner circle, whatever the next circle is and then the one after that.
Then on the very last ring, way out on the periphery, are the acquaintances. People I've met once or twice, and in a casual trying-to-be-nice way, either invited or accepted their invitation to be friends. They're not the problem. The problem is they have friends I've never met who occasionally like to chime in on one of my comments.
One of these outer ring people, a very nice person I met once, decided to post this poster on her wall. I had an issue with the use of Steve Jobs image, and the implication of his responsibility for the starving and famine-stricken children in Africa. It didn't seem fair or accurate and I said so.
A friend of my acquaintance took strong exception to what I was saying, and we proceeded to get into a fierce, fiery, name-calling back and forth on her wall about it. During the course of the "discussion", this person made the point that she had a doctorate from Johns Hopkins and was a world history teacher.
Both impressive accomplishments. But she was still wrong.
Yet late into the evening she was still writing columns about why she disagreed. I admit for a good part of the day I couldn't wait to look on FB and see what babbling rant she'd posted so I could reply. I got sucked into the ramblings of a crazy person I didn't know.
With a doctorate from Johns Hopkins.
After she started calling me a sexist because I disagreed with her, it really became clear to me what I was dealing with. I'd given more than enough effort and time I'll never get back to this person. I decided it was time to stop the insanity. I said, "Wow, you're an angry elf. I wish you nothing but the best." Then for good measure, I blocked her on my FB account, and unfriended my acquaintance.
So while I'm not done with FB entirely, I am done with getting so carried away I waste most of a weekend day waiting to respond to someone I don't know and couldn't care less what they think about the Steve Jobs poster or anything else.
I know she learned a lot at Johns Hopkins, because she told me she did. But apparently they don't teach the one bit of wisdom and advice that could've helped her avoid sounding like a raging lunatic to a complete stranger.
Shatner said it best in that famous Saturday Night Live sketch:
