Then I started thinking, and not for the first time, what would it take to get kicked out of an ad agency? Agencies are notoriously tolerant of personalities that wouldn't last ten minutes in any other business. In fact, more often than not those people are rewarded for their bad behavior. They fail up. For the rest of us it's like living in opposite world.
Anyway, I decided to quickly draw up a by no means complete or scientific Agency/Amusement Park Ejection Equivalency Chart to see how things that get you tossed out of parks would fare in the agency world.
So face forward, buckle your seat belt and keep your arms and hands inside the car.
Big Coolers
Hard-sided coolers are prohibited at Universal, SeaWorld and Disney. Universal also prohibits soft coolers larger than 8.5 in wide x 6 in high x 6 in deep.
The biggest concern agencies have about coolers is if they have enough beer in them for everybody to go with the pizza they bring in on Summer Fridays, or at the annual pep talk.
Dressing Up As Your Favorite Disney Character
In accordance with park policy, adults who dress in attire that looks too similar to a real Disney character may be asked to leave.
The last thing agencies care about is what someone wears. One of the great benefits of the business is that no matter how long you’ve been in it, you can still dress like a 15-year old. Knit caps. Hoodies. Jeans. T-shirts. Sleeping Beauty. Pocahontas. Mr. Incredible. It’s all good. Even account people don’t have to wear suits and ties, although it’s still easy to spot them. Their jeans are creased.
Markers & Paint
Think again before unleashing your street art skills during your next visit to a theme park. Parks spend millions of dollars each year to maintain their facilities and keep grounds clean. Wannabe graffiti taggers are certainly not welcome at Six Flags parks where magic markers and spray paints of any kind are expressly prohibited.
Are you kidding? Markers and paints are tools of the trade. As far as spray paint, well, you usually find that in the parking lot near that huffing sound.
Packing A Picnic
While small snack items are permitted at Universal Orlando, packing a full meal is prohibited. Per park policy, there is a ban on “picnic lunches” and “food that requires heating or refrigeration.”
You know the old saying about an army traveling on its stomach? So does an agency. There’s almost always food to be found. Whether it’s brought in for late night work sessions, left over from a client presentation, or – and this is usually the good food – brought in by a production company/media rep who wants you to look at a reel. There’s also assorted candy, cookies, sodas and sour grapes lying around. Lots of sour grapes.
Obscene Tattoos
If you have a tattoo that may be considered offensive, try a long sleeve shirt or you may be kicked out of a Disney park. They prohibit “obscene tattoos” but do not define parameters.
Let’s put it this way: you can be kicked out of an agency for not having a tattoo.The more obscene the better. It shows you're edgy, bold, and don't give a damn what the man thinks. Unless the man is the guy at the unemployment office. Then you're going to want to wear long sleeves.
Feeding The Animals
While Disney’s Animal Kingdom and SeaWorld offer visitors the opportunity to pet or feed certain animals under attendant supervision, feeding one of these animals on your time can result in swift eviction from Disney, SeaWorld, and Six Flags.
See Packing A Picnic.
It's easy to see agencies are pretty loose and freewheelin' when it comes to the kinds of concerns amusement parks fret about. By the way, this isn't the first time I've compared ad agencies to amusement parks. I also did it here. The reason I keep doing it is they just have so many things in common.
Although I'm not sure which roller-coaster ride makes me scream louder.
