Seeing double

The same person I overheard talking in the hall about his teeth the other day was back at it again. Only today, the topic was twins.

When I first decided to slam out—I mean thoughtfully research and craft this post—I had plenty of choices when it came to the picture. It was the first thing you were going to see, so I wanted it to be good.

Sexy brothers. Attractive sisters. Older fraternal twins. Twin dogs. And cats. I decided to go with the babies because (imagine pinching their identical chubby cheeks) wook how cute the widdle babies are!

If you've followed this blog for any amount of time—and if you have you might want to consider a more productive lifestyle—you know I'm an only child. As such, I'm pretty used to the fact the world revolves around me. Just ask my wife. Or my children. Or anyone who works with me.

Growing up I never missed having a sibling, but I always thought it'd be cool if there were two of me the world could revolve around. There'd be so many advantages. My twin brother and I could share clothes, instantly doubling our wardrobe of black shirts and black pants. We wouldn't be those freaky kind of twins who dress identically all the time, but we'd do it once in awhile to mess with our parents. Or our girlfriends.

It sounds creepy, but hey, I've heard stories.

There's also the proven psychic connection twins have. They know what's happening to the other one even when they're thousands of miles apart. They finish each others sentences. They have a silent language of their own just by looking at each other.

I have a silent language, but I'm the only one who speaks it.

Many famous people are twins. Elvis had a twin brother that died. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are twin entrepreneurs who run a billion dollar business empire. Napoleon Dynamite himself, Jon Heder has his twin brother Dan.

I suppose one nice thing would've been having someone who understood exactly what I was going through when my parents died. I just light up a room don't I?

Sure, there would've been rivalries. One of us might've gotten accepted to a great college while the other didn't. We could've both fallen in love with the same girl, and there's no upside to that even if you're not a twin. We probably would've argued and gotten in fights once in awhile, and it would've made me feel mad at myself for being mad at myself.

But if wishes were horses beggars would ride. The fact is they broke the mold after they had me, and being a twin wasn't in the cards. So I'll just have to settle for being what I am.

One of a kind.

One and only

I'm an only child. And I'm okay with that.

Sure, I don't really understand the whole sharing thing. Or not having my way when I want it. But for the most part it hasn't held me back.

Naturally there's been one or two times in my life where it would've been nice to have a sibling. For example when my parents died. As you'd expect, an extremely tough time. It would've been nice to have somebody who knew exactly what I was going through because they were going through it too. Another tough time: when Springsteen tickets go on sale. A brother or sister would double my chances of getting the good seats.

When I tell people I'm an only child, I usually get one of two reactions. They'll say, "Oh you're so lucky." Or they'll give me a sad, sympathetic look and say, "Oh that's a shame."

It's not a shame. For the most part, it's awesome.

I have lots of friends with siblings. Some of them get along, some don't. Many of them have found a way to negotiate a truce because they have family obligations and joint decisions that have to get made, none of which happens if they're fighting like cats and dogs all the time. But it always seems like an uneasy truce.

I also have people I don't get along with. The difference is when I don't get along, I can get away. I don't worry about having to see them at home, or running into them at family events or holiday dinners.

Also, I think because I'm an only child my friendships take on even more importance in my life. Well, some of them anyway (you know who you are). I tend to invest time and energy to nourish and grow them, and find myself getting more than just a little out of sorts when that investment isn't returned in kind (you know who you are).

Anyway, I'm not making an argument for being an only child. I'm just saying there are worse things that could happen in the world.

That would be the world that revolves around me.