How low can you go

In the limbo dance (I'll pause while you all hear "Leembo Leembo Leembo" in your head), the goal is to see how low you can set the bar before you decide you can't go any lower.

Sound familiar?

In advertising unfortunately this is a dance you get invited to on a daily basis. It comes at you from all directions: Client. Budget. Holding companies. People on your own team. And if you say no to the invite, then suddenly you're not a "team player" (as if I ever was), and pegged as difficult, which I may have been called once or twice. Today.

Most creatives I know would wear that label as a badge of honor. We'd all rather fail with quality than succeed with garbage. But it's easy to see just by grabbing the clicker and turning on the TV or radio, opening a magazine or going to a website, that it's not a landscape that supports that point of view very often.

It's not a state secret that in this world of reduced budgets, no AOR/project-based clients and the amount of money being spent on 360 campaigns for everything from running shoes to laundry detergent (how're those Twitter and Facebook engagement numbers for Tide working out?), agencies operate much more fearfully than they ever have.

So I just want to take this opportunity to raise a glass and say thank you to my fellow creatives, creative directors and everyone who keeps pushing to make the work better, tirelessly fighting the powers working against them and managing to turn out work that's as creative, interesting and inspiring as it is results-getting.

Also, thanks for leaving your dancing shoes at home.

Organizational chart

It's always great when someone teaches you about something you didn't know. Like the time I was in a radio session with Tress MacNeille and she taught me the word "dirtnap." Which I always try to use whenever I can.

For example, "Looks like that campaign idea is taking the big dirtnap."

Anyway, my art director pal Kathryn and I were working on an assignment. She had a great idea, and to help me see what she was thinking she had us look at a website called Things Organized Neatly.

It was love at first landing page.

It's a web blog that's exactly what it says it is: from typewriters to car parts to crayons to movie props to sets of scissors to bicycle parts and more, all perfectly organized and displayed neatly.

I'm not a neat freak, but if I was doing a production of The Odd Couple I'd be Felix. A fatter, more Jewish Felix.

I have trouble breathing when things are too out of whack and unorganized. I like order, and knowing where everything is. The way I do that is I put things back where they belong every time. That way I don't have to send out a search party when I'm looking for my phone. Or my keys. Or my shoes.

The site is also inspiring in it shows that anything with more than one component can be organized neatly. Music to my eyes.

I want to be clear. I'm not saying things should look sterile or unused. I don't want everything to feel like the couch wrapped in plastic at Grandma's house that no one can sit on.

I'm just saying if you're going to use something every day, make a point to put it back where it belongs. (Mike, Lori and Imke: you know the joke that goes here).

Because I'm a giver, tonight I thought I'd pass along the site for your perusal in case you appreciate things organized neatly as much as I do. Frankly, I could look at it all night long.

But I have to finish organizing my books by height. Right after I alphabetize them.

Bobbleheads

I had a decision to make about what to call this post. It was either going to be Bobbleheads or Asshats. Either one would’ve been just as applicable, although I suppose the one I chose is more specific.

I was driving – and when I say driving I mean crawling – to work today on the 405 which, for those of you outside of L.A., is the world’s biggest parking lot. Kevin and Bean on KROQ were pretty funny this morning (especially on their phone call with “Justin Bieber”), so I was looking around at my fellow gridlock victims to see who else was laughing. What I saw was more than a few of them bouncing their heads up and down. And not because they were laughing.

It took me a second, but then it all made sense. They were texting or reading texts while they were trying to drive.

Alright. Asshats.

Suddenly the 405 was even more frightening than usual. While these human bobbleheads were busy with their smartphones (something something about phones smarter than the people using them), I saw more than a few of them narrowly avoid rear ending – and not in a good way – the car in front of them.

There needs to be some kind of “Idiot Behind The Wheel Texting” hotline where you can report these lamebrains. Of course, it would only be available to cars with Bluetooth and voice-dialing.

Or maybe a Megan’s Law kind of website where texting-while-driving offenders have their pictures posted, along with the messages they were texting when they ran into the car in front of them. Just to make sure they're really put to shame, their driver's license photos would also be posted.

Texting fines have to be jacked up. Like the carpool lane fines, their wallets need to hurt if they're caught. Or even better, a mandatory night in jail for being a threat to every car on the road ahead of them. That'll give 'em something to text about.

I don't like it any better, but at least the nose pickers keep their eyes on the road.

Out of site out of mind

Maybe it's because I'm a copywriter. Or because I have too much free time on my hands. Or because GoDaddy is so damn cheap. But like every other person in advertising, during the course of the day, whether I want them to or not, names for websites seem to keep popping into my mind.

I don't know how many I've registered or how much I've spent to do it over the years, but I've only actually built out one of them - my own that showcases my work.

It's like people who buy a gym membership the first of January and then never use it. I'm pretty sure this is how GoDaddy and Register.com make most of their money.

Of course there are the ones I own like Creepfactor, Shut That Kid Up and Well Placed Blame that I'm still hoping to do something with. But this year, I decided to let go of some of my URL baggage and let a few names I own expire.

So if you've been itching to start a site called AdZombies or Bad Ad Agency, I know for a fact the domain names are available.

I'm in a much more optimistic place than when I registered Career Go Boom, so it's now there for the taking.

There was the gift registry site Here's What I Want a couple friends and I were going to start. Turns out we didn't want it.

My friend Stephanie Birditt had a site called Stephopotamus, and I thought it was fun. So on a whim I registered Jeffopotamus. Had no idea what I was going to do with that one, which explains why it's gone now.

A couple years ago, our annual trip to the Hotel Del Coronado had more than a few things go wrong, so I was going to go after them with Hotel Del Hell - a site where everyone who'd ever had anything go wrong during their stay could vent.

But then they comped me a night, a dinner and a cabana and I felt better.

I suppose I'll keep registering names that occur to me in the hope that one day I'll actually do something with them.

Meanwhile, I wonder if goingbacktowatchmoretv.com is taken.

Kickstart someone's dream

When you go through life like I have, as an only child, you try not to laugh out loud when people around you say "how good giving feels." Any only child will tell you that giving just ain't natural, and the idea of sharing is crazy talk.

But there's always an exception to the rule. In my case, five exceptions.

I've discovered a website called Kickstarter.com. It's a site where creative people from all disciplines - film, design, writing, music, dance, photography - post their dream projects and ask you to help fund them.

They tell you about the project, and usually there's a short video describing it (like the ones below), and incentives based on how much you donate. It's an all or nothing proposition: if they don't reach their goal amount within the given time, the project doesn't get funded.

What I love about the site is these people are putting their dreams out there, asking you to be a part of making them come true. It doesn't take much to help. And go figure, it actually feels really good.

The other thing about the site is how inspiring it is. Seeing all these great projects makes me want to blow the dust off a few of my own and get them off the ground.

Gets the wheels spinning. It's a good thing.

So, because I'm a giver, here are the five, you heard me, five projects I'm backing so far.

Check out kickstarter.com, and see if there isn't someone's dream you can make come true.