Heaving her Christmas cookies

I can hear the season laughing at me, and it sounds like Ho Ho Ho.

Until now, this Christmas seemed to be shaping up nicely. It wasn't nearly as hectic as ones in the past. The lights were up in time. We found everything we wanted shopping wise. And it all managed to get here in time.

We still haven't gotten Christmas cards out, but the bright side is now they'll turn into New Year's cards. Yet another Christmas miracle.

We were going to have family over to our house on Christmas Eve, then visit more family on Christmas day. It was shaping up to be a Christmas full of fun, merriment, egg nog and family. And lots of bourbon in the egg nog.

That was right up until my daughter, through no fault of her own, started heaving her own cookies when we got home today.

She'd been complaining of a bad tummy all day, but she has that every once in awhile and it usually passes and then we move on to more important things- like what's for dessert.

She was a trooper today in spite of feeling bad. I took her to our dentist in Santa Monica and had her teeth cleaned (something she might be needing again). We had lunch at The Counter, although she really didn't have much appetite.

But once we were home, she asked for the bucket and started spreading a little Christmas cheer of her own into it. Very thankful her aim is true.

So it looks like our Christmas plans are in a holding pattern until we see if she's feeling better.

But as Christmas' go, sitting on the couch with my girly next to me, looking at our beautiful tree and watching tired Christmas movies isn't a bad deal.

The bad deal is having to empty the bucket.

What goes down must come up

Funny thing about food poisoning. If it's a good meal, you enjoy getting it even though you don’t know you’re getting it. It's only about eight hours later - when it decides to wake up and kick in - that you really sit down and re-evaluate your dining choices.

And you’ll be doing plenty of sitting down.

Last Tuesday I ate at The Counter in Hermosa Beach for lunch. If you haven't been there, and my guess is after reading this you won't be going anytime soon, it’s basically an upscale burger place. When you walk in, you’re greeted by the surprisingly uninviting, sparse, cold and unwelcoming décor. Once seated, you’re given a clipboard with choices of meats, toppings, buns and dressings, and basically get to build your burger. I’ve eaten at a few different locations in the chain, and always had a good burger there. In fact, the one I had last Tuesday was great.

Then, later that night…

About 10 pm I started to feel a little nauseous. About 10:10 pm, it had escalated severely and I began what turned out to be an eight-hour, home improvement extreme makeover from master bathroom into vomitorium. When there was a break in the action, I ran – and I do mean ran – to the kitchen to get a bucket, and then back to the bathroom.

Why the bucket? Well, remember the part about sitting down. Yeah, so that happened. I didn’t know I’d ordered the two-for-one special, if you get my drift.

Wednesday morning, after a completely sleepless night, I was wrecked. My throat was raw and raspy as could be, and when I tried to talk I sounded like Demi Moore in A Few Good Men. My ribs and abs hadn’t had that kind of workout in years. They’re still screaming at me not to do it again.

Also, because of that, I can’t find a comfortable position to lay down, so, no good sleep for the last three days.

I don’t remember checking any of this on the clipboard.

Yesterday, my wife called The Counter in Hermosa to speak with the manager and let her know what happened – not to get anything from them, just to let them know so they could check their food and make sure it didn’t happen to anyone else.

And guess what? The manager was very defensive. I know, I’m as shocked as you are.

“Where else did he eat?”

Nowhere.

“We’re very careful with how we handle the food.”

I’m sure you are.

“What toppings did he have?”

Whatever they were I’m sure he didn’t order the e coli.

Here’s the thing: I’m not 8 and I’m not 80. I was pretty much done with it in 36 hours. But is it really good corporate policy to act snotty and defensive when one of your customers is trying to tell you something that might actually help you – even if you don’t want to hear it? I promise you it’s not.

I might’ve been willing to write it off as a fluke if the manager’s attitude had been a little more appropriate. And their burger didn't make me feel like I was dying for the last couple of days.

But now, as I go down my list of burger places to eat at with my family and friends, there's definitely one box I won’t be checking.

The bucket stops here

What you're looking at to the left might seem like simply a large plastic bucket.

Actually, it's a security blanket.

My daughter came into our bedroom at 12:30 this morning with a bad stomach and feeling a little clammy. She decided maybe she needed to - with out getting too clinical here - empty the chamber.

But being the little multi-tasker she is, she also thought she might have to toss her cookies. And whenever she feels that way, she asks for the bucket.

Just holding the bucket makes her feel better. It represents a unique kind of okay-ness whether beets are heaved or not. For my daughter, knowing it's there is almost as comforting as having us there reassuring her everything is going to be fine.

When the feeling finally passed, she came into our room and spent the remainder of the night with us, just in case.

While most kids would cling to their teddy bears to make themselves feel better, she had her bucket right where she wanted it - within arms reach at the foot of the bed.

As I think about having to wash our duvet cover at three in the morning, I realize she's not the only one being comforted by it.