Don’t forget to stop at the gift shop

I like to think of myself as a rather cultured individual. I have an annual pass to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA). I’m a member of the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures. I’m on a waitlist to see the infinity mirror room at The Broad. I’ve enjoyed my many visits to the Museum of Contemporary Art (MOCA). And I make it a point to visit the Whitney whenever I’m in New York to take in the brilliant isolation, loneliness and realism of urban life that only Edward Hopper can convey.

I don’t know why I relate to Hopper so much, but the feeling of hopelessness and futility in his characters hits home with me. I have issues. Another post.

Anyway, despite the fact I’m just lousy with class, I have to admit I’ve never visited what could arguably be called the most interesting museum of all: the Poozeum in Williams, Arizona.

Or as their webpage says, “The Gateway to the Grand Canyon!” Whatever.

The Poozeum collection is made up of thousands of fossilized dinosaur droppings, including, as the website says, “ the wateringly huge ‘Barnum’.”

Interesting adjective.

You can even snap a selfie with a replica of a 4-foot wide titanosaur poop.

Honestly if I wanted a picture with a giant piece of shit I’d just go to a Trump rally.

Look, people can spend their money any way they want. And if a room full of dino droppings is their idea of seeing the sights, then have at it.

So enjoy your visit to the Poozeum. And if you happen to stop by the gift shop to pick up a little something for me, I’m fine with a tee shirt or poster.

Just not a paperweight.

Mr. T-Rex

I'm not gonna lie. I can't wait for Jurassic Park: Fallen Kingdom. Even though it'll be the fifth installment in the series, after 65 million years it still never gets old.

After the primordial mess that was Jurassic Park 3, I thought for sure the series was extinct for good. But like a mosquito trapped in amber, sequels find a way.

Being a Hollywood kid I should've known better: never underestimate the power of recycling an old idea to make new money. Besides, even though Jurassic World wasn't great, it was fun. There were enough things about it I liked to keep me wanting more. Just like my high school girlfriend.

The story hadn't gotten much better, but the technology had. Those raptors and the T-Rex were looking mighty real. Plus Chris Pratt is a personal favorite, and always good for a laugh. Put that together with Bryce Dallas Howard running through the jungle in high heels, and you've got gold Jerry. Gold!

I'll never be too old to love dinosaurs, especially when they're running rampant, devouring bad guys and chewing the scenery. And I mean chewing the scenery. Judging by the trailer, it looks like it's going to be exactly what it was intended to be, and exactly what I'm looking for: a great summer popcorn movie, wildly entertaining and satisfying if you don't stop to think too much about it.

And if I'm wrong, there's always the next one.