Trial run

If there's no objection, in my opening remarks I'd like to tell you about a funny thing that happened last week.

A close friend of mine who lives on the east coast got in touch with me because he was looking for a referral to a lawyer out here to handle some business for him. Then, coincidentally, I also wound up recommending another friend to a different lawyer because he was in a situation where I thought a little legal advice would help.

Now I know what you're thinking: "Why does Jeff know so many lawyers? Is he in that much trouble? Is it a Jew thing?" The answers are because, no and maybe.

Here's the deal. When push comes to shove in certain situations, the evidence has shown it's sometimes best to have a knowledgable, take-no-prisoners legal representative in your corner.

It's no secret there's a lot of negativity and jokes about lawyers. But those are usually about the ambulance chasers and bottom feeders. My attorneys, all of them, have been stellar in representing my best interests when I've needed them to. I have nothing but gratitude and appreciation for the lawyers I work with.

And they have nothing but gratitude and appreciation for my retainer fees.

Capitalism, amIright?

My wife thinks I should go to law school and become a lawyer, because I'm quick on my feet and like the idea of standing up for justice. Actually she thinks I should do it because I'm confrontational, don't suffer fools lightly and won't sign out a library book without checking with my attorney. But for argument's sake, let's go with the justice thing.

If you find yourself in need of a lawyer—and everyone does eventually—and don't have one, give me a call. I'm pretty sure I can make the introduction.

Estate lawyer? Check. Employment and business attorney? Of course. Personal injury representation? Do you have to ask? Real estate attorney? I'll land one for you. Bankruptcy lawyer? My high school best friend is one of the top ones in the city. If I ever have to read up to Chapter 11, I know who to call.

In closing, if it please the readers (snickering....readers...good one), let me conclude by saying it's always best to settle disagreements without taking the dispute to the next level. But if you absolutely have to, it's reassuring to know I'm here to help you find an advocate, advisor and counselor who'll be looking out for your best interest.

And forty percent of your settlement.

Blog adjourned.

The state of taxes

This is the second time in four years I've done a post about taxes. The last time was here.

Even though it's an annual event, and a subject everyone likes to bitch and moan about, I don't write about it every year because that way it's just a little less real.

Until April 15th. Then it's very real.

I'm fairly organized about things, which makes it easier to get ready for it. I have my friend Pam Ziegenhagen to thank for that. She probably doesn't even remember, but years ago when we worked together, she told me how she organized all her receipts in different categories in an accordion file. Then all she had to do was add up each section for tax time.

It was good advice, and I've been doing it that way my own self ever since.

But because I know I can wait until virtually the last minute and still pull it all together in about three hours if I have to, I have extra time to get my panties in a twist about getting it done. Which I always do.

I have issues. I never said I didn't.

So here's the thing - sometime in the next few days, I'll buckle down, go through my accordion file with all the past year's receipts like Pam told me, do a little addition, make a master list of totals for my accountant and be done with it.

Then, when I'm at my tax appointment with my accountant Ethan, we'll chat about all sorts of things and I'll stare at the Green Bay Packers posters he has in his office for about an hour and a half while he punches in the numbers in a way that makes everything okay.

Ethan does right by me every year, bless his little ten key.

I was going to end this post with somewhat of a reach. It was going to lead into something something Sherlock Holmes, and working purely by deduction. See what I did there?

Obviously I don't prepare nearly as well for ending my blogposts as I do for doing my taxes.