The chance you take

It's like the arrow in the Fed Ex logo. Once you see it, you can never not see it.

For years, Jared just looked like a nerdy guy who lost a ton of weight and struck it big by eating Subway sandwiches.

But now, instead of nerdy he looks evil. And at Subway he's referred to as "Jared who?"

That they'll get in trouble, wind up in the middle of a scandal or die mid-campaign has always been the chance you take when you use a celebrity as a spokesperson. Or create one.

What Jared did was particularly despicable. And the fallout was quick and predictable: Subway severed all ties with him minutes after the first story broke and he hadn't yet been formally accused of anything. Then they hired a new ad agency to give them a fresh campaign and a new start. To which I say, "How's that working out for you?"

Ad agencies are never more optimistic than when they get a new piece of business. And Subway is a big account. I wish them luck, but this particular kind of tarnish keeps coming up like onions on a Black Forest Ham sub. Jared will be associated with Subway for campaigns and years to come, regardless of what they do. Not fair, but true.

Some celebrities, like Tiger Woods, manage to recover from scandal. But because of the repulsiveness of their transgressions, the Jareds and Bill Cosbys of the endorsement world aren't ever coming back.

Using a spokesperson is always a crapshoot. It's borrowed interest, but unlike a lot of people in the business I'm not necessarily against it as long as the person is right for the product and the message.

The problem that you run into is often all the A-list celebrities you want are taken. Then you wind up with a spot like this:

At least the only thing Loggia was ever guilty of was being in a bad commercial.

It makes the job harder, but it's better to hang a campaign on an idea than a celebrity. It's the only surefire way to avoid this kind of bad publicity and the lasting fallout that follows it.

If Jared was smart, he kept the giant jeans he used to hold up in the early commercials.

When this is all over, they're all he's going to have left.

Getting mugged

While my close friend and personal life coach Rich Siegel is busy over at Round Seventeen writing about issues of the day like Islamic clerics, Israel and Palestine, the Holocaust and the sorry state of advertising, I notice he has yet to tackle a vital subject that affects us all on a deeper, even more visceral level.

Of course I'm talking about celebrity mug shots.

It's always good, wholesome fun to have a laugh at someone else's expense. So let's start with one of the classics: Nick Nolte. Now the go-to choice would've been to contrast and compare a glamour boy shot of Nolte from the Rich Man Poor Man days with his now infamous Don King-esque, "Have you ever heard of conditioner?" hairstyle mug shot.

Instead, I chose an earlier mug shot of Nolte as a counterpoint to the one we all know and love. In fact, as you'll see, I've pretty much restricted all my choices to celebutards who have enjoyed the luxurious accommodations of an 8x6 holding cell more than once.

It's hard to know exactly what's more embarrassing about this early Tim Allen mug shot. The '70's stache? That he was busted in Kalamazoo (which coincidentally is the word magicians use when they forget "abracadabra"), or the fact people kept mistaking him for Geraldo Rivera?

Clearly his success from Home Improvement and voicing Buzz Lightyear is reflected in the more recent, more styled shot on the right. You can tell he's aware of the lighting, as well as his best angle. It could almost be the head shot his agent sends out for roles on shows like, you know, Oz or Prison Break.

Unfortunately for Tim, thanks to the interwebs these mug shots will be around to infinity and beyond. (See what I did there?)

                                        

Ladies and gentlemen, the man who's single-handedly putting the glamour back in anti-semitism, the one and only Mel Gibson.

This suitable-for-wallet-size mug shot on the left is from Mel's drunk driving episode a few years back on Pacific Coast Highway. Clearly, Mel still has plenty of alcohol in his bloodstream. You can see the sly smile, the sparkly eyes - the look that says "Hey, I know Jews run the business, but guess which ten-year old, independently financed film shot in a dead language grossed the most money in history?"

I'll give him this: it was a good film, even if I did know how it ended.

But see, you can't smack talk the people who run the business and still expect to have a career in it, as an older, paler and jowlier Mel knows judging by the photo on the right.

I suppose everybody's human and nobody's perfect. But sometimes stupidity just rules the day, and the mistakes we make have a way of sticking to our shoes.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering, I was going to post Lindsey Lohan's mug shots. But even on the internet, there just wasn't enough room.

The Con

This isn't the first time I've written about Comic Con. The last time was a post about the difficulties of playing hotel roulette and getting the one I wanted.


Fortunately, after writing a Jeff-letter to the Chairman and CEO of Hilton, that wasn't a problem this year. We were at the Hilton Bayfront, right across the street from Hall H at the San Diego Convention Center. Which was perfect, because we spent most of our days there holed up in Hall H.


For those who haven't been, Hall H is where all the major studios hold their movie panels. They parade the stars and directors out, show exclusive footage from upcoming films, then have a discussion led by a moderator before taking questions from the audience. The hall seats 6500 people. When they like what they hear you know it. Same when they don't.


There's way too much craziness, geek love, celebrity, craziness, fun and craziness at Comic Con to put into one post. So instead, I'll just put up a few pics from the weekend to give you a little taste.


And yes, since you asked, we're pre-registered for next year.

Kevin Smith interviewing fans dressed up in costumes

Francis Ford Coppola with Val Kilmer

Our tickets to the world premiere of Cowboys & Aliens. That's right, you heard me.

Andrew Garfield, the next Spiderman.

Nic Cage wore his bad hair costume for the panel.

Colin Farrell was funny and charming. Bastard.

Team Twilight.

The most surprising and one of the best panels this year, Pee Wee Herman.

Gulliermo Del Toro

Some guy named Spielberg.

Penn & Teller. Yes, Teller spoke.

Justin Timberlake & Amanda Seyfried pretending not to look at me.

My hotel across the street from Hall H