Life unsubscribed

If you're anything like me—smart, talented, funny and...what's the word...oh yeah, humble—you can remember there was a time when opening email was something to look forward to. Most of those emails in the past came from friends that, because they're my friends, were funny, insightful, enlightening, thought-provoking and worth the time they took to read them.

But like cheap gas, my 32-inch waist and Springsteen tickets under five-thousand dollars, it was a long time ago.

The good emails gradually got overtaken by offers from Nigerian princes, barristers in London with multi-million dollar inheritances waiting for me, hot Ukranian girls who wanted to meet me (can you blame them?) and an assortment of enhancement, diet, prostate, muscle-building and relaxation pill offers.

I never opened them. I'd see the subject line, block the sender and mark it as junk mail.

In the same way baseball, leaves changing and pumpkin spice latte are seasonal, so is email. And in case you haven't noticed, right now we're in the heart of election season.

I've always been the kind of person to put my money where my mouth is, especially when it comes to electing democratic progressives and making sure we defeat all the nazi-lovin', election-denyin', vaccine-fearin', propaganda-spreadin', fear-mongerin', insurrection-incitin', trump-followin', top secret document-sellin', fascist-lovin', cult-obsessin', crazy-lyin' candidates and their base that make up today's GQP.

And if you're not getting the picture, let me make it a little clearer by bringing it down to a personal, one-on-one level in a way you can understand: if you support, identify with, condone, contribute to, defend or in any other way align your political, spiritual or social views with those of Cadet Bone Spurs, Gym Jordan, Marjorie Traitor Greene, Moscow Mitch, Snake Oil Dr. Mehmet Oz, "Little" Marco Rubio, Lauren Bobert, Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Kevin McCarthy, Lindsey Graham, Ted Cruz or any one of the other cowardly, traitorous, brainwashed Republicans trying to take down democracy, then fuck you.

Twice.

Anyway, because I've donated to people and causes I believe in, my email address has found it's way onto lists for virtually every democratic candidate running in any race anywhere in the country this season. As a result, my inbox is being flamed with political messages all with subject lines like:

"It's not looking good"

"We're short of our goal"

"Respectfully asking"

"I need your help to defeat..."

"Have you seen our TV ad"

"Your contribution will help to..."

You get the idea.

I understand money is the lifeblood of politics. And while I've gladly and enthusiastically contributed several times to Raphael Warnock in Georgia, Val Demmings in Florida, AOC in NYC, Beto in Texas, Mark Kelly in Arizona and John Fetterman in Pennsylvania among others—and will continue to whenever I'm able—I just can't keep getting 75-80 emails a day asking me to pony up. Sometimes up to ten or more from the same candidate.

"Care to make that a recurring monthly donation?" No I do not.

So I've hit my limit and hit the unsubscribe link. Hopefully this will reduce the amount of daily political hat-in-hand posts that clog my inbox and take up far too much time deleting. I know who I want to donate to and the candidates I want to win, and I'll give as much as I can and do everything I can to make sure they do.

In the meantime, they'll have to trust that I'm thinking of them even if they're not hearing back from me. Ten times a day.

Déja vote

Well here we go again. The creeping anxiety in the pit of the stomach. The uncertainty that the inmates might wind up running the asylum (again). The wondering if justice and right will prevail.

Oh, and just for good measure, nothing less than the fate of the nation and democracy hang in the balance as Georgia voters make their way to the polls. It seems every election for the last four years has been the most important election of our lifetimes. But this time it actually is.

This is the harsh, traitorous reality if the democrats lose:

—Moscow Mitch has already vowed not to pass any Democratic legislation even if he thinks it’s a good bill. As it stands, there are over 400 pieces of legislation from the House sitting on his desk that he won’t allow a vote on.

—Over 140 simpering, ass-kissing, boot-licking, brown-nosing, tweet-fearing Republican representatives and senators are protesting the electoral college votes as a show of support and supplication to the outgoing Traitor-In-Chief, even though they don’t have the power to actually change the result. Thank God.

—Facts and truth will continue to be disputed as if there were two sides, and eventually wind up dead as disco.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that everything this nation was founded on, that sons and daughters fought and died for, will be undone should this election go the wrong way. When I started writing this post, the democratic candidates were ahead, but now their lead has been thinned significantly. It’s going to go back and forth all night like this.

So one more time, let’s break out the popcorn, make our nervous jokes, yell at John King and Wolf Blitzer (it always feels good to yell at the messenger) and cross our fingers hoping it all works out.

Tonight, instead of a snappy line to wrap this up, I’ll borrow the end line from Jessie Jackson’s speech at the 2000 Democratic Convention. Which, no doubt, is going to be the mantra of the evening.

”Keep hope alive!”