Stop the presses

You may have noticed since the unstable genius and his brown-nosing, boot-licking, ass-kissing, Russian-owned, democracy-hating, riot-inciting, fact-denying, fear-mongering minions have left the building—despite the physical and mental wreckage they left in their wake—a quiet sense of calm and professionalism is permeating the country.

As of January 20th, most people aren’t worried about Biden hitting the nuclear button because he didn’t like a tweet. Or firing someone because they didn’t kiss the ring. No one’s worried he’ll want to have a military parade to compensate for his little…hands. And there’s now absolutely zero chance of Ted Nugent, Kid Rock or known Russian spies ever being invited to the White House. Or what I like to call a win-win-win situation.

What there is however is a definite confidence that, finally, the adults are in charge.

Perhaps nowhere in the administration, besides the Oval office, is this change in attitude more acutely felt than in the White House press briefing room.

Since Jen Psaki has been named WH Press Secretary, the daily briefings—the back and forth, the Q&A—has been something it hasn’t been in four years: civil. Now that we're past the less-than-peaceful transition, the press are welcome to ask anything they want. Psaki answers all questions as best she can, and when she doesn’t have an answer she either gets back to the reporter or refers them to someone who does.

It doesn’t come as any surprise she takes her job seriously and handles it as well as she does. Psaki was the traveling press secretary for Obama during the 2008 and 2012 campaigns, and after he won was Deputy Press Secretary, then Deputy Communications Director. She was also spokesperson for the U.S. Department of State.

Psaki and the Biden administration seem to understand the role of a free press as watchdog and eyes of the American people into what their leaders are doing or not doing.

You don’t see Jen Psaki screaming fake news every time a reporter asks a question she or her boss doesn’t’ like. She doesn’t get into screaming matches with reporters. She doesn’t insult them like they’re on the playground. She has a clear understanding of her role in the administration, her responsibilities to the American people and a healthy respect for the history of the position she holds.

We all know there's been a string of unqualified, hostile Trump cronies with none of those qualities that held the job before her. I’m not naming names *cough* McEnany *cough*, *cough* Huckabee *cough*, *cough* Spicer *cough*.

Even though reporters aren't supposed to reveal their sources, you can feel the vibe in the press room: they're all happy to say they heard it from Jen Psaki.

Next question.

Survey says

Since when did companies become clingy, needy little entities clamoring for approval of every interaction you have with them?

Oh right. Since social media.

Inevitably, every restaurant I eat at is waiting with a survey for me to take to rate them. And, to entice me into doing it, I also get a chance to win a $25 gift certificate! They explain it, circle the website on my receipt, and make it sound like my customer transactional obligations don’t end at paying my bill.

They want me to engage.

At least they don’t flame my inbox the way car dealerships, online merchants and even my doctors’ office does. After every single contact with any of them, invariably the next day in my email is a survey asking me to rate the experience - no matter how miniscule or insignificant it may be.

Look, I’m happy to tell companies what I think. If the service, product, meal or whatever has been spectacular, I’m the first one to sing their praises on Yelp. Conversely, if it’s been awful, then the CEO, President and a few board members of the holding company will get what’s affectionately come to be known as a Jeff Letter, telling them what went wrong and asking them to make it right (Jeff letters have proven to be an extremely effective way to get results – and no, I’m not writing one for you).

This Sally Field-ing (“You like me! You really like me!”) of the American corporation has to stop. If I want them to know about my experience I'll tell them. But for the love of God and all things holy, stop asking me at every turn.

I used to go out with this girl who’d ask me every time there was more than a five second gap in the conversation “What’re you thinking?” What I was thinking was I wish she'd stop asking me that question every five seconds.

This is all driven by the popularity contest that is social media. A platform for instant feedback, now companies have a way of inviting you to "Like" them on Facebook ("You like me!). The more followers, the better the company. Allegedly.

I hear Kleenex and Tide are tied at 8 followers each.

Anyway, that’s it for now. If you wouldn’t mind, please take a few minutes to rate your experience reading this post. Your comments will be used to help improve the quality and subject matter of future posts.

Just messing with you. No matter what you say, this is as good as it gets.

Feel like an idiot for $100 Alex

Because I don't have enough things to make me feel stupid during the course of a day, I decided to take the test to become a Jeopardy contestant.

I'll wait a minute while you stop laughing. Done? Okay.

I've watched the show forever and always thought it'd be fun to be on. In fact I already have a funny anecdote about how I met Groucho Marx (oh yes I did) ready for when Alex conducts the awkward contestant interview with me after the first commercial break.

Since I seem to do well questioning the answers when I'm watching from the comfort of my couch, I thought there was a chance I'd do just as well if I were actually on the show.

Self-delusion and denial are two of my better honed qualities.

Of course if the categories were Godfather Movies, Springsteen, Pizza, Audi, German Sheperds and Bad Parenting, I'd have it aced.

To apply you take an online test of fifty questions made up from episodes that have already aired. You have fifteen seconds to answer each one, which isn't nearly enough time for internet cheating. Or so I hear.

Once you complete the test, you never get the results. In fact you never hear from them again unless they want you to be a contestant.

Watch for my Jeopardy appearance on this date.

What is the 12th of never.