Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 15, 2025

Stars are people too

Wildfires are devastating. They consume more than homes. They also devour memories, history, and a sense of safety. This year, flames tore through Altadena, Malibu and the Palisades, leaving ashes where homes and lives once stood. Yet, instead of compassion, a bizarre and unjustified wave of callousness has reared its ugly head, with people dismissing the losses of celebrities and residents in these areas.

How often in the past week have you seen a post or heard someone say, “They can afford to rebuild” or “They can just move to their other house”? It’s a cavalier, ignorant, jealous, red-state, right-wing, California-hating dismissal that reveals a staggering, although sadly not surprising, lack of empathy and understanding.

Let’s be honest: there’s no faster way to show the world your heart is three sizes too small than by shrugging off someone else’s tragedy with, “Well, they’re rich.”

Not everyone who suffered a loss is rich. Sure, these communities, especially Malibu and the Palisades, are known for luxurious homes. But they’re also home to teachers, small business owners, retirees, and others who’ve built lives there. Some have lived in these neighborhoods for decades—long before they became synonymous with wealth. Losing a home is financially devastating for anyone.

And no, Karen, not everyone has a secret vault of gold coins to dive into when things go south.

Even for those who ar e wealthy, the idea their losses don’t matter is disturbingly cruel. Yes, a celebrity may have the means to rebuild, but wealth doesn’t erase the pain of losing irreplaceable items: photo albums, keepsakes from loved ones, artwork, and more. Money can’t replace that painting your kid made in first grade that held a place of honor on the fridge. Wealth doesn’t shield anyone from the trauma of displacement or the heartbreak of watching a cherished home—and all the memories it held—go up in flames.

To imply their suffering is any less valid because they’re in the public eye is to deny their humanity. And yours.

Many celebrities who’ve lost their homes are still stepping up to help others. They’re donating significant amounts to relief efforts, volunteering their time, and using their platforms to raise awareness and funds for victims. Their losses haven’t stopped them from giving back, which only underscores their humanity and generosity.

A loss is a loss. Home is more than just four walls and a roof. It’s the space where we build our lives, celebrate milestones, and find comfort. When people lose their homes to natural disasters, they’re not just losing a building; they’re losing memories and a piece of their identity. This is true whether you’re living paycheck to paycheck or have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.We reduce celebrities to their wealth or fame, forgetting that they laugh, cry, and mourn just like the rest of us.

They’re just better lit while doing it.

This mentality often extends to others perceived as “better off” than us. It’s a dangerous way of thinking. Instead of coming together to support those in need, we’ve created a hierarchy of whose suffering is “worthy” of our compassion. Spoiler alert: this isn’t a competition. There are no prizes for being the most dismissive.

Next time you see news of someone’s home destroyed by fire—whether they’re a famous actor or your next-door neighbor—think about what it would mean to lose the place where you’ve built your life.

The last thing we need is for callousness to spread faster than the wildfires.

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

That dog

Jon Stewart brought me to tears last night. It wasn't because he was talking about some atrocity happening in the world, a celebrity who died tragically too young, or recounting that scene from Forest Gump where Forest asks Jenny if his son is smart or if he's like him.

Nope. Jon Stewart brought me to tears talking about his dog, Dipper, who he'd lost the day before taping last night's Daily Show. As you can see in the video, he can barely get through telling us about how he met Dipper, how he came to be his dog and how much he meant to him and his family.

For Stewart, Dipper was that dog.

Anyone who's ever had a dog, whether they admit it or not, on some level understands the deal they're making from the start—that they're going to be with us for far too short a time, during which they'll steal your heart and never, ever give it back.

And anyone who's lost a dog understands how deep the grief runs. I've been through it with dogs I've loved too many times. Even now, they're always in my orbit, and my life. My home is emptier without them, and my life is immeasurably better in every way for them having been here.

Except for the shedding. I could do without the shedding.

In the clip, Stewart wishes we all find that dog. For me, it was Max. An actual German long-hair German Shepherd, Max was the world's greatest dog. Literally not a day goes by I don't miss him.

Maybe that's because his ashes are still sitting on mantle. Who's to say?

It's been said before but I'm going to say it again: with their unconditional love, unlimited joy and undeniable loyalty, we don't deserve dogs. We just don't.

Anyway, tonight I hope Dipper is playing hard with his new best friend Max.

And like Jon Stewart, my wish for you is that you're lucky enough and blessed enough in your life to find that dog.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

The Grandstands of Heaven

Every once in awhile, it occurs to me how many people I’ve lost along the way. Can you tell this isn’t going to be one of my more humorous posts?

I suppose it’s no more or less than anyone else. But on those days and nights when I let my thoughts roll around to them, it occurs to me how much I miss my dearly departed friends and family. I was trying to figure out the reason I don’t dwell on it more often than I do, and I think it’s because I still feel surrounded by them. Not in the ooo-eee-ooo kind of way, but in the “they’re never really gone, love never dies, they’re watching over me” kind of way.

I heard a great phrase the other day: the grandstands of heaven. That’s where I believe they’re all sitting, looking down and cheering me on. Of course, since they were my friends and family and probably did some traveling with me while they were here, I'm sure they're sitting in the clubhouse and not the general bleachers.

No flight too short for first class.

Right about now I’m sure some of my atheist friends are having a good laugh at this. It’ll give them something to make fun of and mock, because sometimes being content not believing in God or Heaven just isn't enough. Have at it. I love you anyway, and believe I’ll see you on the other side - even if you don’t.

Anyway, to Jim, George, Babs, Peter, Uncle Jimmy, Pete, Gommie, Jacques, Mark, Paul, Uncle Lou, Mom, Dad and the rest, since I can’t send you a thank you note (postage is outrageous) I want you to know I appreciate your continued support and love, and look forward to seeing you guys again. Not soon, but again. Save me a seat.

By the way, I heard you can eat as much of whatever you want up there and not gain weight. If that’s true, I’d appreciate one of you sending me a sign.

Maybe something like this.