Argo and see it

It seems to me one of the toughest hat tricks to pull off when you’re making a movie based on a real-life incident is building suspense when the audience already knows how it ends.

In fact, that used to be my joke when anyone said they were going to see Passion Of The Christ. I’d say, “Want to know how it ends?” I love that joke – if they ever re-release the movie I may resurrect it.

BAM! Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Tip your waitress.

Back to the point.

When a movie’s able to pull it off well, to make you forget the actual real life outcome and root for the ending, it’s downright miraculous. The ones that do it well, movies like Apollo 13, Miracle, Thirteen Days or JFK, are rare.

The reason I mention it is I saw Argo for the second time this weekend. It’s an outstanding picture, and Ben Affleck – already one of my favorite directors - is batting three for three. Not a lot of people knew about the clandestine operation by the CIA to get the six hostages out of Iran disguised as a movie crew during the height of the hostage crisis. But once the publicity machine started, everyone knew it was successful.

Despite that knowledge, the suspense is breathtaking. You’re literally on the edge of your seat.

At the end of the film, during the credits, the actors are show side-by-side with the real life people they're portraying. If there was ever a film that made the argument for a casting director Oscar, this would be it.

After a long, summer drought of movies I've wanted to escape from, it's refreshing to find one I want to escape to again and again.

Sub sandwich

Meanwhile, in today's news, Iran claims their missiles can strike 35 U.S. bases within minutes should Iran come under attack.

Yeah yeah. Sure sure.

Once again Iran's leadership is banging the drum loudly for their own people's benefit so they'll support the military buildup. And since the missiles can hit targets 900 miles away, and Israel's border is only 600, this kind of rhetoric plays well to the anti-semetic, effigy-burning, American flag-stomping crowds.

But what Iran's military knows all too well, even if they're conveniently forgetting to mention it to their people, is that U.S. nuclear submarines, like the Ohio-class sub shown here, surround Iran on all sides. See, their 900-mile range missile I mentioned is their most advanced. One of our regular ones has a range of 2,000 miles.

You do the math (hint: the math is we don't have to be anywhere near them to take them out seconds after they've made the piss-poor decision to launch).

I know, all this doomsday talk makes me nervous too. It's obvious the people of Iran are just as much at the mercy of bad decisions their leaders make as we are. I'd never want to test out the "our missiles are better than your missiles" theory. Ever.

But, having said that, if I'm being honest with myself (and you know how I hate doing that), I have to admit considering the recklessness, lies and irrationality Iran exhibits on an almost daily basis, I take comfort in the fact the U.S. has something besides homes underwater.