Moving experience

Here at international headquarters of Rotation and Balance, we've had quite a year so far. You may have noticed the postings have been happening at a feverish pace, and by that I mean more than one a month.

Also, with the staff additions (new refrigerator for the Corona Lights and a second-hand La-Z-Boy recliner), we've outgrown our current office space near the Port of Los Angeles, just east of the refinery.

C'mon, what did you think that smell was? (Don't say the writing).

Anyway, since this is the worldwide interwebs, and RNB is read by people as far away as Finland, Nigeria and Vladimir's hometown, the board of directors decided in a contentious 7 - 3 vote that headquarters needed a more international presence.

Randy Greenwood, former director of Arby's real estate operations has been brought on as our VP of International Real Estate Acquisitions. Welcome aboard Randy. Having been with Arby's for over 25 years, and having gone backpacking in Europe for three weeks with his high school sweetheart after graduation, we have the utmost confidence Randy will get us a space we can be proud of and continue to grow in.

Hopefully in a country without corporate income tax.

Anyway, his first few weeks have been spent negotiating for office space on the 148th floor of the Burj Khalifa, the world's tallest building located in Dubai. He tells me they shot one of the Mission Impossible films there, although he's not sure which one.

I'm not really certain the desert is where I want to be. I sweat if it goes over 60 degrees, and frankly unless I'm lying down in sheets I don't look very good in them. White is not a flattering color on me. It just isn't.

But my objections may be moot after all. Our accountants at H&R Block tell me that the revenue generated by this site is well over seven figures. All zeroes.

Which probably means we'll have to say goodbye to our Burj Khalifa office space, and keep our international headquarters right here in the states.

Not to worry. Randy has been working on some contingency plans, and says he's found a space that may suit us in a very desirable mall on the edge of town, just on the other side of the tracks.

We've already got the people from Fastsigns scheduled to come measure for the brand new Rotation and Balance sign. It should look great between the donut shop and massage parlor.

You shouldn't have

First, I'd like to send my sincere thanks to everyone for all your emails and notes asking why Rotation and Balance has been taking weeks between posts lately. All of us here at RNB International Headquarters have been deeply touched by your demonstration of enthusiasm for our blog, and your genuine concern why we haven't been posting more often.

Nah, I'm just funnin' ya. No one cared.

The truth is I could never put up another post, and the impact on your life would be zip. Zilch. Zero. And some other "Z" word.

Don't feel bad, as apparently you don't. I'm used to it. I work in advertising.

You wouldn't think it at first glance, but the product is essentially the same between this blog and advertising. When it's there, and it's clever or engaging on an emotional, humorous or intellectual level, you like seeing it.

But when it's not there you don't miss it at all.

It's a lot like my high school girlfriend that way.

At any rate, we've been undergoing an "organizational restructuring" here at the main office. Our editorial and contributing writer staff has been streamlined for better efficiency, more frequent postings and articles that you can relate to and that will help you find happiness in being your true self.

Oh, wait, that was the staff over at O. Disregard that.

What we've done here at RNB is fired all the planners wearing knit caps (for a good laugh, see what my pal and Round Seventeen auteur Rich Siegel thinks of knit caps). So the work should be more frequent and a lot better, even without their unique insights.

Here's hoping you'll (continue to?) enjoy the renewed, reinvigorated, recharged, re-tooled and some other "R" word Rotation and Balance.