Location Location Location

Once upon a time, I was enamored with the idea of going "on location" for commercial productions.

Paris? Prague? Peoria? Okay, maybe not Peoria.

The mere mention of a destination would trigger visions of glamorous hotels with impossibly fluffy pillows, fabulous shoot locations with jaw-dropping vistas, and after-hours culinary adventures in Michelin-starred restaurants. I’d pack my suitcase with outfits I’d never actually wear ,but felt I should bring, because who knows? Maybe I’d end up at a yacht party or something.

Spoiler alert: I didn’t.

Fast forward to today. The idea of schlepping myself to some remote corner of the world to "capture the magic" now fills me with an existential dread rivaling that of sitting through a three-hour agency status meeting. Don’t get me wrong — I still love creating. I just don’t want to do it while battling jet lag and sketchy Wi-Fi.

Give me a soundstage in Los Angeles, a coffee cart within arm’s reach, and the sweet promise of going home to my couch by 7 p.m.

Let me paint you a picture of what "on location" really means. You wake up at 4:30 a.m. in a hotel room that smells faintly of carpet cleaner and crushed dreams. It’s pitch black outside, because the best light for your exterior shots happens at the ungodly hour of sunrise. The hotel "continental breakfast" consists of sad, cling-wrapped muffins and coffee brewed by someone who hates joy. You climb into a 15-passenger van with a crew of equally tired people, and off you go, bouncing down dirt roads not designed for motor vehicles.

Then there’s the weather. It’s either too hot, too cold, too windy, or raining sideways.

Contrast that with a soundstage in Los Angeles. You want golden hour lighting? Flip a switch. You want a sweeping mountain vista? Fire up the green screen and let the VFX team work their magic. Nobody’s getting rained on. Nobody’s asking if the porta-potties have been emptied. And nobody’s stuck in a van wondering if craft services will be set up by 6 a.m.

Soundstage life also means I can drive to work like a normal human, film some "magic," and be home in time to binge Breaking Bad for the eighteenth time. (Yes, eighteenth time. Don’t judge me.)

Sure, I’ll admit there are moments when I miss the thrill of going on location. That fleeting rush of stepping off a plane in an exotic city, the camaraderie of late-night shoots, the adventures of finding the world’s best taco stand at 2 a.m. But then I remember the other stuff — the lost luggage, the endless "hurry up and wait" routine — and my nostalgia dissolves faster than the line item for "unexpected expenses."

So here I am, praising the soundstage life. To my younger self, I say this: it’s not you, it’s the jet lag. And the weather. And the 4:30 a.m. call times. And everything else that turns capturing your creative vision into a monumental pain in the ass.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with my couch, a bowl of popcorn, and Heisenberg’s greatest hits.

Tsunami adjacent

One trick to making the day a little better when you’re working at an agency is to work at one that follows the tried and true first rule of real estate: location, location, location.

I’ve worked at agencies located in industrial parks, in the corner of run down shopping malls and alongside an airport runway. As I’m sure you know by now, I’m not particularly picky as long as – say it with me - the checks clear. But it is infinitely more pleasant to be someplace with a spectacular view to distract me from having to come up with the next earth shakin’, product movin’, sales increasin’, consumer viewin’, client pleasin’, award winnin’ banner ad.

Which is why I quite like where I happen to be working right now.

It’s an agency in Huntington Beach. I don’t have to get on a freeway to get here – I just fly down PCH from my house for about twenty minutes, and enjoy the view of the naval ships refueling, and rearming, at the Seal Beach Naval Weapons station. I try to count the bumper-to-bumper cargo ships backed up in the ocean because of last week’s dockworkers strike at the port. And then, a little further down the road, I watch the surfers and wish I were one of them. I don’t surf, and I’d probably get smacked in the head with my own board, drown and die, but you know what I mean.

This agency is spread out over four buildings, and the picture above is the view from the one in front. The one with the café. And the happy hour on Thursdays. And free breakfasts on Fridays. I file it under things could be worse.

Of course, being me, while I sometimes appreciate the full impact of gazing out at the ocean in the middle of the workday, another thought does cross my mind no matter how hard I try to keep it out.

It looks like this:

Now, this isn't the first time I've posted about tsunamis. About three and half years ago I put up this post. But when I wrote that post, I was just passing through. Now, I spend at least eight hours a day tsunami adjacent, not counting my leisurely lunches I love so much.

I don't think it matters if I see it coming or not, because either way, once it hits, I'm going to be one big, fat, soggy piece of humanity floating down Main St. past Sushi On Fire and the Pizza Lounge.

I just light up a room don't I?

Anyway, I'll enjoy the view for now and try not to worry too much about tsunamis.

On the bright side, it's Huntington Beach. I can always get a pair of board shorts in a hurry if I need them.