Life unsubscribed

If you're anything like me—smart, talented, funny and...what's the word...oh yeah, humble—you can remember there was a time when opening email was something to look forward to. Most of those emails in the past came from friends that, because they're my friends, were funny, insightful, enlightening, thought-provoking and worth the time they took to read them.

But like cheap gas, my 32-inch waist and Springsteen tickets under five-thousand dollars, it was a long time ago.

The good emails gradually got overtaken by offers from Nigerian princes, barristers in London with multi-million dollar inheritances waiting for me, hot Ukranian girls who wanted to meet me (can you blame them?) and an assortment of enhancement, diet, prostate, muscle-building and relaxation pill offers.

I never opened them. I'd see the subject line, block the sender and mark it as junk mail.

In the same way baseball, leaves changing and pumpkin spice latte are seasonal, so is email. And in case you haven't noticed, right now we're in the heart of election season.

I've always been the kind of person to put my money where my mouth is, especially when it comes to electing democratic progressives and making sure we defeat all the nazi-lovin', election-denyin', vaccine-fearin', propaganda-spreadin', fear-mongerin', insurrection-incitin', trump-followin', top secret document-sellin', fascist-lovin', cult-obsessin', crazy-lyin' candidates and their base that make up today's GQP.

And if you're not getting the picture, let me make it a little clearer by bringing it down to a personal, one-on-one level in a way you can understand: if you support, identify with, condone, contribute to, defend or in any other way align your political, spiritual or social views with those of Cadet Bone Spurs, Gym Jordan, Marjorie Traitor Greene, Moscow Mitch, Snake Oil Dr. Mehmet Oz, "Little" Marco Rubio, Lauren Bobert, Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Kevin McCarthy, Lindsey Graham, Ted Cruz or any one of the other cowardly, traitorous, brainwashed Republicans trying to take down democracy, then fuck you.

Twice.

Anyway, because I've donated to people and causes I believe in, my email address has found it's way onto lists for virtually every democratic candidate running in any race anywhere in the country this season. As a result, my inbox is being flamed with political messages all with subject lines like:

"It's not looking good"

"We're short of our goal"

"Respectfully asking"

"I need your help to defeat..."

"Have you seen our TV ad"

"Your contribution will help to..."

You get the idea.

I understand money is the lifeblood of politics. And while I've gladly and enthusiastically contributed several times to Raphael Warnock in Georgia, Val Demmings in Florida, AOC in NYC, Beto in Texas, Mark Kelly in Arizona and John Fetterman in Pennsylvania among others—and will continue to whenever I'm able—I just can't keep getting 75-80 emails a day asking me to pony up. Sometimes up to ten or more from the same candidate.

"Care to make that a recurring monthly donation?" No I do not.

So I've hit my limit and hit the unsubscribe link. Hopefully this will reduce the amount of daily political hat-in-hand posts that clog my inbox and take up far too much time deleting. I know who I want to donate to and the candidates I want to win, and I'll give as much as I can and do everything I can to make sure they do.

In the meantime, they'll have to trust that I'm thinking of them even if they're not hearing back from me. Ten times a day.

The party's over

Ding dong the GOP is dead. And it wasn’t a house that fell on it. It was Trump Tower.

It’s about time. It came into focus the last four, dreadful, depressing years, but it’s really been happening since Nixon and before. The party of family values, fiscal responsibility, military supporters and state’s rights has sold their souls—or whatever was living in that space—and become the party of a porn-star banging draft-dodger who’s gone bankrupt at least six times and tried to take federal control of elections.

I could list all the ways and reasons Cadet Bone Spurs is the most vile, vulgar, repulsive, incomprehensibly stupid human on earth. But they’re all well known by now. And in an extremely uncharacteristic move I want to keep this post short tonight.

After yesterday’s attempted coup by his radicalized supporters, a few things are clear.

First, as a country we really need to up our educational game. If just fifty percent of those asshats storming the capitol had teeth, an eighth-grade education and a class in civics, maybe they would’ve had a shot at understanding what a monster they’ve been supporting.

Maybe.

Next, somebody has to call a handy man to come put bars on the windows at the Capitol. You’d think after 9/11 and two Capitol Police were shot and killed there a couple years ago they might’ve tightened things up security wise. If bars are too bold a move, start with thicker glass or two-inch thick plexiglass. You'll thank me later.

Also, let's be honest—this white privilege bullshit has to stop. I know it’s been said everywhere but I’m going to say it again: if that had been a Black Lives Matter protest, with protesters packing automatic weapons, dressed like Vikings and screaming like banshees heading into the capitol, the police would’ve shot first and asked questions later. They also would’ve been handing out plastic handcuffs and had prisoner buses lining the National Mall with their engines running.

There has to be a shortcut to getting seditionists like Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley out of government (unless it’s a federal prison). The Insurrection Act was written for traitors like them, and there needs to be a quicker way to implement it. Maybe not having to have bipartisan agreement would move things along a little faster.

The good news is democracy will survive, but thankfully the GOP, at least in its current form, will not. Trump will be gone, and get far less media than he gets now. Yesterday was the topping on his legacy as a traitor. And while nothing has been able to stick in the last four years, I have a feeling this will. He's already striking a much more concilliatory tone this morning, and even got close to conceding the election. So he's realized the errors of his ways and he's a changed man, right?

If you believe that I have a membership at Mar-A-Lago I'd like to sell you.

As expected, right on schedule, the infighting, backpedaling, denials, conspiracy theories and revisionist history is already in full swing and spewing out of the unstable genius’ enablers.

Southern belle Lindsay Graham gave a drunken, sweaty speech when they reconvened for the electoral vote count last night about how he supports the Constitutional process. He obviously forgot he was on the phone with Georgia two weeks ago threatening federal investigations if they didn’t come up with more votes for tRump.

The truth is the GOP should've died a long time ago.

It's hard to figure how they've survived this long without a heart, a brain or courage.

Down the Hatch

Orrin "Hey you kids get off my lawn!" Hatch, Utah senator for the last 1500 years, handed in his resignation from the senate today. Well, he didn't so much hand it in as cash out. As one of the liar-in-chief's main sycophants, and a major advocate, proponent and beneficiary of the recently passed billionaire tax break, Hatch stands to increase his already formidable wealth in a big way.

So as the superhero, which he is most definitely not, always says, "My job here is done."

Not a minute too soon.

The good news is with Hatch leaving the senate, the road is cleared for Mitt Romney to replace him. Now, in the past I've been somewhat harsh on old Mitt. But in light of the last election, and the dipshit currently destroying our country, democracy and every good, decent, compassionate social program and progress of the last fifty years, I'm reconsidering him in a whole new light.

And frankly, he may be more man than I initially thought (look closely—see what I did there?)

Utah isn't going to elect a democrat. It's just not going to happen. But Romney may be the next best thing, having said this about Trump:

"Here's what I know: Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud. His promises are as worthless as a degree from Trump University. He's playing members of the American public for suckers: He gets a free ride to the White House, and all we get is a lousy hat."

But wait, there's more.

"Dishonesty is Donald Trump's hallmark."

Spoken like, well, like anyone who's listened to the fake president talk for more than a minute.

I applaud Romney's take down, assessment and honest opinion of Trump. And short of a democrat getting elected (although Doug Jones in Alabama shows miracles can happen), I support Romney and hope he has the cajones to stand his ground once he's in the senate.

What makes me optimistic, a word I haven't used since January 20, 2017, is that Romney is already a billionaire. He can't be bought. And he's a strict Mormon. So I'm guessing there's not much chance he can be blackmailed (for reference see Lindsey Graham).

Although not fast enough, the midterms will eventually get here. Hopefully with them comes the sinking of this ship of fools controlling the government.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Goodbye Orrin Hatch.

And good riddance.