Say no to NOPE

Here’s the obligatory SPOILER ALERT: If you haven’t seen the movie NOPE, there are things in this post that will spoil some of the surprises in the film. Consider yourself warned.

I’m a great audience. Really, the kind filmmakers dream about. I go into comedies wanting to laugh, I go into suspense and horror films wanting to be nervous and scared—even more so than I am in real life—and I go into love stories wanting to fall in love all over again.

I’m easy that way. And other ways. For another post.

The point is when I went to see NOPE, I was ready to be scared and surprised. After all, I loved Jordan Peele’s directorial debut GET OUT, liked but less so his follow up US, and was ready to enjoy his latest offering.

Come to find out the biggest surprise was how disappointing the movie is.

It’s hard to write about it because even though I said SPOILER ALERT at the top—remember way back then—I don’t want to spoil too much if you’re planning to see it even after this review.

Jordan Peele is a massively skilled writer, director and visual artist. There are sequences stunning in their staging, and for the most part he doesn’t fall into horror film tropes like jump scares—for example the bathroom mirror being closed revealing someone, or something, behind it.

For the most part.

I understand Peele is going for symbolism and using the premise as metaphor for a broader message. But the screenplay is unfortunately so jumbled, and trying to convey several messages, it's unclear exactly what the story is supposed to represent or add up to at the end of it all. For me, there was absolutely no emotional attachement to any of the characters, with the possible exception of being afraid for the actors in the scenes with a chimpanzee that I'll talk about in a minute.

I know I like Daniel Kaluuya, who also starred in Peele's GET OUT. But here, he appears to be sleepwalking through most of the film, especially in his scenes with Keke Palmer who single handedly provides the jolt of energy, humor and liveliness missing from the other performances. You can even see it in the trailer:

The main story revolves around the first black Hollywood horse wrangling family, and a flying saucer that visits them to maybe devour them? Take them to the planet from whence it came? Stop by for a spot of tea? Never really clear where it's from or why it’s there other than to hide in a cloud that doesn’t move, and come roaring out once in awhile so the sound design department has something to do.

Steven Yuen is also in the movie, and there’s a backstory to him about being a child star on a sitcom with a chimpanzee as his co-star. There are flashbacks to this, and a horrific incident with the chimp that's without a doubt the genuinely truly scariest thing in the whole film. But sadly the entire sequence is only about five minutes total of a two-hour, eleven-minute film.

And as long as I’m picking at the bones, I know I said Peele is a great visual artist. Which is why it’s so baffling near the end of the movie, the flying sauce which had looked like a solid object earlier transforms into something like a king-size sheet caught in the wind, rippling through the sky trying to be scary.

NOPE has been getting mixed reviews, with an 81% Fresh from critics and 69% from audiences on Rotten Tomatoes. My feeling is Jordan Peele is experiencing what I like to call the M. Night Shyamalan effect. That is to say he's the recipient of a great deal of residual goodwill from his awesome first film, making people show more restraint when it comes to being as honest about his follow up efforts as they might want to be.

It’s probably worth a viewing once it comes on the streamer of your choice, if only for the two horrifying scenes with the chimpanzee. In the comfort of your home, with some Ruffles and onion dip at the ready, and the ability to stand up every once in a while.

But as far as spending money to see it in the theater, paying the concession stand and parking tax, and not be able to stand up for over two hours?

I can sum up my answer in one word.

The Prius phase

It seems there are phases both genders - and I'm going to limit it to two for the purpose of this post - go through.

For boys, it's usually firetrucks, dinosaurs and baseball. For girls, it's often horses, dolls and photography.

But eventually time catches up with us all, and the childhood phases slowly recede as we discover more expensive, adult phases to pass through. However, there's a new phase adults of both sexes seem to be grudgingly surrendering to.

The Prius phase.

As phases go, I suppose it's an admirable one, as opposed to, say, shoplifting or cutting yourself. But if you appreciate a finely tuned, high-performance, road-eatin' ride, the fact is it can be just as damaging.

What happens is one day a person is overcome with the uneasy feeling perhaps they need to be more socially conscious. Or that the coming derision is more tolerable than the $500 a month tab for gas. Perhaps they feel compelled to make a statement. Statements range anywhere from "I'm environmentally forward thinking" to "Yes I'm a better person than you" to "Is this thing on?" to "Did I tell you I get 55 MPG?"

Many times, especially when they try to show off their smaller carbon footprint by speeding and cutting you off on the freeway, the statement becomes "Look at me, I'm a douche in a Prius." I'm pretty sure this last one is unintended. But it doesn't make it any less true.

Inevitably after a while living with the car, the Prius phase begins to run its course. Drivers begin to miss the sound of an engine when they press the accelerator (in the Prius, it's called the "pedal on the right"). They long for a less tinny sound when they close the car door. The idea of a car - like the one they traded in for the Prius - that can run a curve and stick like glue becomes a yearning. It's all they can think about.

Next thing you know, the same guy that drives the service department shuttle is taking your Prius around back while they're writing up the paperwork on your new A6, 530i or AMG C63. The siren call finally gets answered.

And the good news is once it's over, you can finally stop wearing that t-shirt. You know, the one that says "Prius. Because a gas-guzzlin’, ass-kickin’, fast-movin’, sweet-soundin’, head-turnin’, envy-causin’, great-feelin’ car just isn’t me."