What is glutton for punishment

I was just trying to think of something I could do to make people say, "I.Q. over 60? Please."

And I've come up with the answer (which may be the only answer I come up with - that'll be funny in a second). I've decided to do again what I've done so unsuccessfully before. I'm taking the contestant quiz to be on Jeopardy.

As you may recall, I posted here about how well it went the last time. But I'm older and wiser now. Well, at least older and fatter. And frankly I consider myself much better versed in European Capitals, Rivers Of The World and Renaissance Artists than I was last time.

The good news is in the test, I don't have to ring in with that impossible buzzer you see contestants wrestling with on the show .

Anyway, if you need me between now and tonight, you'll find me studying up on Civil War Generals, Architecture, "R"eal Words, and the ever popular Potpourri.

And of course I'll also be working on my interesting-yet-humorous-although-not-too-humorous 30-second story for when Alex briefly interviews me after the first commercial.

Wish me what is luck.

The punishment should fit the crime

On my friend Rich's blog, Round Seventeen, he's started a series of posts called People We Need To Kill. I'd like to nominate these two examples of human garbage.

Joyce Hardin Garrard on the left and Jessica Mae Hardin on the right are, respectively, grandmother and stepmother to 9-year old Savannah Hardin. Or at least they were.

What happened is that Savannah lied to the grandmother about having eaten some candy, so as punishment last Friday they made Savannah run for 3 hours straight. She wasn't allowed to stop, nor was she allowed to drink any water.

Dehydrated and sodium depleted, Savannah had a seizure and died days later.

I suppose the telltale line in the news story was "The trailer where Savannah lived..."

I'd like everyone who thinks I'm kidding when I say you should need a license to be a parent to take a good look at these two aberrations. I hate to judge books by their covers, but what's painfully evident to me is this couldn't have been the first physical or emotional abuse this little girl suffered from these inbred freaks.

Fortunately they've both now been charged with murder. As I said in the title, I think the punishment should fit the crime.

They need to make both these women run for three hours nonstop in the Alabama sun, then let them die of dehydration. Preferably while holding ice-cold water bottles in front of them, just out of reach.

I know some of you think the death penalty is wrong, and I should be more forgiving and merciful. Here's my answer to that.

Tell it to Savannah.