86 the 1099

It's the very definition of buzzkill. You work a certain number of days for an agreed rate, and you expect to see that amount on the check. Then payday rolls around, and you're as giggly as a 13-year old on her way to a One Direction concert. But when you open the envelope, thanks to Uncle Sam, the check is about a third lighter than you expected.

That giant sucking sound? It's all the things you were going to do with the money disappearing.

Here's how it used to work.

You'd go into an agency, do the work, then send them an invoice. Maybe they'd ask you to sign a NDA. Maybe. Then, you'd get a check for what you invoiced. Every cent. The rate you'd agreed on. The amount you expected.

It was called 1099 income. And it was a beautiful thing. But that was then and this is now.

Apparently those boys at the IRS have no sense of humor when it comes to not getting their payroll taxes from the working masses. Which is what was happening with freelancers in agencies.

So now, agencies are only allowed to hire someone freelance for a very short period of time before they're required by law to put them on staff as a temporary employee. But most of them go straight to temp employee status.

The way it works now is you go into an agency, fill out a stack of employee forms as thick as the Yellow Pages, that range anywhere from the Confidentiality Agreement to the Sexual Harassment Policy (SPOILER ALERT: Don't do it). You also sign a W-4 form which, unlike the 1099, means taxes are taken out for you and you get a W-2 form at the end of the year with the breakdown.

It also means you don't get the freelancer's second best friend next to free food: deductions.

In a nutshell, W-2 money is good and bad. Good because you don't have to remember to pay those pesky quarterly taxes like you do on the gross 1099 income, and the agency pays half the employee tax. Bad because you don't get all the samolians.

I've always been good with money - go figure. So I prefer 1099 income. I'd rather juggle my money accordingly and pay my own taxes. I also have this little pet peeve about the government reaching into my pocket, or paycheck, and taking money out.

Among all the papers you sign for W-2 income is an agreement that even though you're considered a temporary employee, you're not entitled to any benefits.

Including getting the full amount you're owed on your check.

Off the clock

When you have a plumber over, you don't ask if they could just replace a small pipe for free before they get started.

You wouldn't ask your auto mechanic to replace a few hoses for free before he does a tune up.

Alright, so I think we've learned analogies aren't my strong suit, but here's what I'm getting at.

Why do agencies like to send freelancers the creative brief, along with all the Powerpoint presentations, research, first drafts, graphic treatments and assorted other information - some useful, most not - a day or two before the job starts and ask you to review it all before you come in?

I'll tell you why. Because it doesn't cost them anything.

I'll tell you something else. I never do it.

The fact is I'm not on the clock until I am. Don't get me wrong - I don't just do this for the money. I do it for the love. Of the money (okay, who didn't see that coming). So the night before I start a new gig, when I'm with my family, watching Breaking Bad for the fifth time, walking Max - the world's greatest dog, or whatever I'm doing, it's on my time.

You know what I'm not doing on my time? Working for free.

It's not like there's any fear of coming in unprepared or uninformed. If you've ever set foot in an agency, you know meetings are the currency and lifeblood. Everything they sent you will be reviewed, reworked, rehashed and rethought a thousand times before you put pen to paper (old school expression).

And of course, by the time you start, approximately seventeen rounds of meetings later, the assignment will look nothing like what they sent you to read in the first place.

I think my high school girlfriend put it best when she said, "I'm not just giving it away."

And while I didn't appreciate the sentiment then, I certainly do now.