It's hard to know exactly what makes people angry. It's different for everyone. But I have one friend in particular who, because I've known him so well for so long, I know exactly what trips his trigger.
Everything.
It must be a tough place to be. For as long as I've known him, he's been the angriest person I've ever known. It never ends. His rage is like bottomless glasses of lemonade at Islands.
You'd think some ambitious young turk out of Anger University, ready to be royally pissed off at the world, would come along and steal the title. But year after year, he manages to hold on to it as if it were a point of pride.
I've seen the toll it takes on him. I know it takes a toll on those around him. I've offered many times in the past to help him in various ways, but he's never accepted. And I've been at this point for awhile where, in a life that gets more and more demanding, I simply don't have room or desire to be witness and occasional target of his anger and nastiness any longer. It's a negative drain and it's exhausting. And life really is too short.
I'm not sure exactly when it was, but somewhere along the line I asked myself what I was getting out of the friendship at this point. When I couldn't think of anything, I knew it was time to cut ties.
I used to feel bad about it, but I don't any more.
Clearly running his blood pressure up forty points every five minutes at some perceived slight would indicate his survival instincts aren't kicking in. But mine are.
When I used to read his rants about the tiniest, most insignificant things that would normally be a surface nuisance at best, but for some reason set him off completely beyond the pale, it just made me sad.
This is a smart, talented guy in so many ways. He'd be better off showing that side of himself to the world instead of the Mr. Fury side on display at the drop of a hat ("Why the f&%# are you dropping that hat!?")
He's reached out to me a few times with bizarre, sad messages that don't deserve a response. They're anger (and alcohol) fueled, and I'm not taking the bait.
I sincerely wish him well. Maybe somewhere down the road we'll reconnect.
But it sure as hell won't be until he realizes he has a lot less to be angry about than he thinks.
