He has my vote

Like many of you, and by many I mean the nine people that read this blog on a semi-regular basis, and by semi-regular basis I mean you forgot to empty the cache and it came up again accidentally, I thought this day would never get here.

Election day. It's the one we've been waiting four extremely unpleasant years for.

But it's here now, and it's our last chance to replace the racist, lying, misogynistic, name-calling, Big Mac-grazing, nazi-loving, pussy-grabbing, Covid-spreading, division-stoking, dictator-fawning, deficit-raising, veteran-hating, democracy-killing, adderall-fueled, festering piece of shit occupying the White House with someone who deserves to be there.

Someone with a moral compass and an innate sense of right and wrong.

Someone with intelligence that rises to the job and being leader of the free world.

Someone who in times of severe hardship and sacrifice—say a war or a pandemic—we can trust will have our best interests at heart and will act accordingly.

Someone who won't be laughed at every time they're on the world stage.

Someone who will surround themself with a cabinet of intelligent, non-yes men and women (no-men?) instead of swamp-residing, just-crawled-out-from-under-a-rock grifters looking to line their pockets on the taxpayer's dime.

Someone whose kids don't kill wild, endangered species for sport and aren't second-generation festering pieces of shit.

Someone we can respect.

That's why I'd like more than anything to cast my vote for Josiah Bartlet. I'd like to, but I can't.

On the off chance you don't know, Barlet is the fictional president played by Martin Sheen on The West Wing, which it so happens the wife and I have been bingeing for a while now (we're on season 4, episode 17). He possesses all the above mentioned positive qualities, as well as a wicked sense of humor, laser-focus and a keen analytical mind. It sounds great, amIrite?

And while I'm sad I can't vote for Josiah Bartlet, I'm happy I've already cast my vote for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.

During primary season, Biden wasn't my first choice, he was my fifth. I imagine that's true for a lot of people. My dream ticket was Harris/Buttigieg. Or Warren/Buttigieg. Or Sanders/Buttigieg. Or Buttigieg/Yang. But Biden brings with him the experience, the leadership, the compassion and the decency we've lost as a country. It will take decades to undo the damage the unstable genius has done, but Biden has a roadmap to get there.

Plus instead of a simpering suck-up who looks at him with moony-moon eyes and a schoolgirl crush, in Kamala Harris Biden has a Vice President more than qualified for the job, a trusted advisor and someone who won't be afraid to speak up when she disagrees with policy.

So today I'm going to try as hard as I can to stay away from all the election news—it'll go on for days and months, I'm sure I'll hear about it. Instead I'll be spending my spare time watching more episodes of The West Wing. Because while Aaron Sorkin's stellar, rapid-fire dialogue and precision writing gives me a benchmark to aspire to (you know I can hear you laughing, right?), in each and every episode, and on this day especially, it also gives me something else I've missed terribly and need desperately.

Hope.

The not-so-great debate

Because I'm a glutton for punishment—and a fan of classic comedy—I watched the 10th Democratic Debate tonight. And just like the last one, it was a tough room.

It's sad and funny to watch everyone come undone as it gets closer to the South Carolina primary, and then the 14-state super Tuesday a week from today.

Here's where I come out on it. I'm not a Bernie bro, and frankly he reminds me of too many loud uncles to get my vote. At this point I can't tell if he's pointing, waving or signing. I actually think, while I agree with and support many of his positions, he gives moderates in both parties too much ammunition not to vote for him.

I've always liked Pete Buttigieg. He's level, scary smart, articulate. And he doesn't point. I like his platform of inclusiveness. And I like the idea of someone unflappable, who's had military experience and can understand what it's like to be discriminated against just for who you are. He seems like a healer to me.

I like Elizabeth Warren, but frankly there was an air of desperation to her performance tonight. I kept thinking of Springsteen's song "Glory Days" because it just felt like she was trying to get back the unbelievably great mojo she had going in the last debate. She's got a plan, and I admire that. I hope she can stay in it long enough to get her message out.

I think Joe is a decent guy, but he just feels tired to me. And I don't know if Medicare covers hearing aids, but he should look into it. It's like he's in a yelling contest with Bernie. SPOILER ALERT: That's another thing he'll lose.

Amy Klobuchar is as dead center as you can get. I believe she'll have a seat at the table, but I don't think she'll be the nominee. I was betting we were going to escape without hearing about her uncle working in the mines. I lost the bet.

I don't think Tom Steyer has a billionaire's chance in hell, but I am liking him more and more. Saw his CNN Town Hall last night and was impressed. I'd peg him for Secretary of the Interior.

Finally we come to Bloomberg. I can't stand him. I see his commercials in my nightmares. If he was really that concerned, he'd stop running for President and channel his money into down ballot Senate seats.And the way the audience cheered his talking points, I'll swear he had paid ringers in there. Especially after the way Warren eviscerated him last time. Also, his jokes are as bad as his policies.

So now that we're in the first final stretch, they're all yelling and screaming over each other, and it looks more like a pie fight than a debate. But someone will emerge eventually, and then it'll be that person vs. the unstable genius/liar-in-chief.

I don't know who'll it'll be. I hope it's Pete. But I do know this much—whoever it is, they have my total support.