King of pain

Maybe his real name's the one Steve Martin introduced him with on Saturday Night Live.

Stingy.

Today Sting announced not only do his kids not have trust funds, they also won't be getting any of his money when he goes to that Royal Albert Hall in the sky. Apparently, he has two reasons: one is there probably won't be any left. And the other is he plans on spending it all.

So the second reason makes the first one a certainty.

I'm sure that'll just add to all the good feelings his kids have already when they think about dad missing all their formative years with them while he was out earning a living and getting after show, um, backrubs (this is a family blog) from 20-year old groupies.

He's quoted as saying his vast wealth would just "be albatrosses" around the necks of his six children. I'm very sure it's a burden they could learn to live with.

As so many multi-millionaires have said, they don't want their children to have a sense of entitlement. I'm not sure when the idea of good parenting and leaving your kids financially comfortable became mutually exclusive. Seems to me you can teach children to be responsible, have a good work ethic, be good and charitable people, and at the same time provide them enough financial support to let them focus on doing what they love, and making a difference in the world.

The environment is competitive enough as it is today. I can't even imagine what it'll be like when my kids are out on their own in the world. If I could give them a head start and a soft landing when it comes to keeping themselves afloat, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I wish my parents had been able to do it for me.

And while we're on it, what's the deal with Sting cutting them off entirely? Even Warren Buffett said, "I want to give my kids just enough so they would feel that they could do anything, but not so much that they would feel like doing nothing."

That sounds about right.

Lest we forget, the one percent of money left after Warren gives it all to charity while he's alive will still be more than most people earn in their lifetime. Sigh.

But maybe Sting is just being pragmatic. He probably realizes that, based on his most recent album sales, his next experimental Neo-soul electronica jazz fusion Peruvian Ska African Norse album featuring folksongs in their original Aramaic from the sixth century isn't going to sell as well as Synchronicity did. He's just planning ahead.

Meanwhile, I'll keep trying to explain to my kids why they can't go to an Ivy League school, and try to convince them that trade schools are very underrated.

Movin' on down

I have a good friend who's constantly reminding me that any day above ground is a good day. I think that's probably true for most people.

Unless you're Sherman Hemsley, who's been above ground since he died of lung cancer on July 24th.

Well, above ground and in refrigerated storage in a funeral home in El Paso.

A long way from the east side.

Seems the hold up was, and I know you'll be as shocked as I was, money. After Hemsley died, his half-brother crawled out of the woodwork and sued his brother's companion of the last 20 years, Flora Bernal, to be made executor of his estate. Sadly, it's been a very long time since The Jeffersons. His estate was estimated at just over $50,000.

Today the judge ruled against his half-brother, and kept Flora Bernal executor per Hemsley's last wishes in his will. She is now free to manage his estate, and finally put his body to rest.

There's not a lot of dignity in death as it is. But being on ice for three and a half months while people fight over your estate sure takes away what little there may have been left.

But it's all settled now, and he's finally movin' on up to that deluxe apartment in the sky.

Finally, rest in peace Sherman.