Cleared for takeoff

I've scribbled here before about fundraising auctions at my kids' high school. In fact, because they were so impressively written and made such an indelible impression, you probably recall those posts about the south central L.A.P.D. ride-a-longs I won in previous auctions.

If for some odd reason your memory fails you, now might be a good time to refresh it by reading this post. Or this one. Maybe this one. Who could forget this one? Some think this one was the best. I think this one was one of my finest. And of course, this one is a classic.

I think that's enough self-promoting for one post. Let's get on with it

Last night was this year's auction for the school. Since my kid's are in college and I don't have a horse in the race anymore, I find myself not having to go to their former high school events much. But my wife does work at the school, and she likes to show me off for the trophy husband I am. Plus the auction is an event I've always liked. So we went.

There are two parts to the evening. One is after dinner, where bidders raise their assigned I.D. numbers to bid on items the auctioneer is calling. But before that is the silent auction, where you add your bid to a list for a particular item. When that auction closes, the highest bid wins.

I see it. I guess the highest bid wins in every auction.

Sadly, there were no police ride-a-longs to win this year. However, there was a 90-minute experience in a 737 flight simulator which I wanted. And when I want something bad enough, I usually figure out a way to get it. I'm like the MacGyver of school auctions.

Anyway, the way I did it this time, and every time before, was by sniping. Since it was a silent auction item, I hovered around the list of bids until about thirty seconds before the auction closed. Then, at the last second, right before pens down, I wrote my number and bid on the list—$20 higher than the last bid.

BAM! Auction closed, and I'm on my way to pretend flying a 737 somewhere in Anaheim.

It's part of my Fly But Don't Get My License tour. Years ago, I took helicopter lessons. I have about 30 hours of airtime, but never completed getting my pilot's license. It's a long story. You can read about it here.

Ok, I snuck in one more self-promoting link. So sue me.

I'll be scheduling my 737 flight later in the week. I even get to take a couple people with me. Play your cards right, and maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones to join Captain Jeff on my flight to nowhere.

I can't guarantee it'll be a smooth one, but I can promise even though it's simulated it'll still be a lot better than United.

Siren song

My friend Rich at Round Seventeen has a series of posts called Things Jews Don't Do. I'm pretty sure this would qualify.

Nevertheless, the mean streets of south central Los Angeles are calling to me. Again. And just like last year, I'm answering. At least for one night.

Remember when I posted about winning an LAPD ride-along at my kid's school fundraiser auction? Well, this year's auction was last night, and I did it again.

Because it was such an andrenaline-rushing, eye-opening, amazing experience the first time, I've been waiting a year to get back on the streets.

And last night was my chance.

I'm sure I was very inconspicuous hovering over the silent auction table with the ride-along bid sheet. But the truth of the matter is I wasn't going to let this opportunity get away (see what I did there?). I was prepared to take down parents, grandparents, students or whoever else I had to to have my chance riding shotgun in the cruiser again.

Last year it was a domestic violence call, a guy waving a gun around and an AIDS patient threatening to commit suicide. I have no idea what it'll be this year, but I'm sure it'll be just as memorable.

So I'll set a date, sign the release, and I'll be ready to go.

I texted the officer giving the ride-along, and who I was with last year, and let him know I won it again.

His text back was, "Great! Looking forward to rocking and rolling."

My sentiments exactly.