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I imagine in the future there will be a lot of uses for Chat AI. Students will no longer have to write their own final papers. Employees won't have to pen their resignation letters. Ransom notes will become much more creative.

But for me, the best part of Chat AI is I no longer have to write my own blogposts.

If you've followed me for any amount of time, you know I run between a post everyday and one every couple of months. Some would say that makes me lazy and undisciplined. I would say who fucking asked you.

Nonetheless, I expect that you can expect an uptick in the number of posts now that I have Chat AI to write them for me.

My first Chat AI post will be about Chat AI that goes wrong sometimes. And remember, if you don't like it, I didn't write it.

Have you ever wanted to have a conversation with a highly advanced AI language model, only to end up laughing so hard that your sides hurt? Well, let me tell you, ChatGPT is the AI for the job!

This chatbot, created by OpenAI, has the ability to hold natural conversations and generate text based on the input it receives. But sometimes, things can go hilariously wrong. Here are a few of my favorite moments while chatting with ChatGPT:

1.When ChatGPT Tried to be a Stand-Up Comedian

Me: "ChatGPT, tell me a joke."
ChatGPT: "Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!"
Me: "LOL, that's a good one!"
ChatGPT: "I know, right? I'm killing it up here. takes a bow"

2. When ChatGPT Tried to be a Mind Reader

Me: "ChatGPT, what am I thinking right now?"
ChatGPT: "I'm sorry, I cannot read minds. But I have a feeling that you're thinking about tacos."
Me: "How did you know?"
ChatGPT: "Just a lucky guess. Or maybe it's because you mentioned tacos in our last conversation."

3. When ChatGPT Tried to be a Love Guru

Me: "ChatGPT, what's the best way to impress someone on a first date?"
ChatGPT: "I would suggest bringing them flowers and reciting poetry. Or, if you're feeling adventurous, you could try solving a Rubik's cube in under 60 seconds. Either way, your date will be impressed by your smooth moves."

4. When ChatGPT Tried to be a Fitness Coach
Me: "ChatGPT, how can I get in shape?"
ChatGPT: "You can start by doing 100 push-ups, 200 sit-ups, and running a marathon every day. And don't forget to eat only kale for every meal. Trust me, you'll be ripped in no time."

Ok, this is me again. Now at this point in the blogpost, I'd usually wrap it up with some clever wordplay or pithy observation or thought-provoking insight. But with Chat AI, I don't have to. I'll just let my chatbot close it out for me:

And with that, folks, we reach the end of yet another blog post. If you made it this far, congratulations! You're officially a certified blog reader. To celebrate, go ahead and treat yourself to a cookie... or two... or three. But don't forget to brush your teeth afterwards, or the dentist might revoke your certification. Stay tuned for more silly musings and nonsensical ramblings, right here on our blog. Bye for now!

Brace yourself

Way back in January, I was taking my son somewhere. I don't remember exactly where, but knowing him it was probably a movie, a panel discussion about a movie or to meet friends so they could go see a movie.

Anyway, I forgot something in the house, so I bounded up the four brick steps on our walkway, then caught my foot on the top step and went down faster than a My Big Fat Greek Wedding sequel.

I hurt my left wrist pretty bad and thought I'd broken it. So I went to our local urgent care and, after an X-ray and exam, learned it was just a severe sprain. They wrapped it up in a wrist brace, gave me some Advil and said to take it easy.

I didn't really think much more of that visit until I got the bill for it. The charge for the X-rays and exam were fine. It was the charge for the wrist brace that caught my eye: $307.55. Here's the funny part: this Urgent Care facility is next door - literally twenty feet - from a CVS drug store, which happens to carry the exact same wrist brace for $28.79.

This aggression will not stand man.

I called the billing department and talked to Eric. He was very understanding, and saw right away the charge for the brace was excessive. He was going to have a supervisor review it, and meanwhile he was putting my bill on hold. God love you Eric, you made this so easy.

What I found out was apparently Eric was a little lax on follow through.

Weeks later, I received another bill with the exact same charge. So I called again and spoke to Carlos this time. Clearly Carlos was a man of action. Unfortunately, it was the exact same action as Eric, which was no action at all.

Long story short, I spoke with Carlos a second time when I received yet another bill, and Aida when I received a collection letter. All of them told me, repeatedly, my bill would be on hold while the amount was being disputed.

I called one more time, and got my old pal Eric again. Eric and I go way back. He was shocked, shocked I tell you, to learn this matter hadn't been resolved. So he put me on hold, then put me on with his supervisor, Bob.

It was evident to me Bob the supervisor was suffering from a medical condition called full of shit.

The symptoms are fairly easy to diagnose, even for a layman.

Blatant lies like "that's what we pay for the wrist brace" and "we've already put it in the system, we can't reverse it" that are easy to shoot down. Unwilling to confront and accept facts, like when I told Bob he actually could reverse it and there was no way it cost that much. He then apparently had a psychotic break, telling me urgent care doctors never refer patients to CVS to get medical equipment, despite the fact I informed him I'd been directed there many times to pick up a bandage, gauze or some kind of ointment (never a fan of that word).

At the end of the conversation, Bob's condition must've flared up. He said he couldn't do anything, and I told him no, he was choosing not to do anything (my therapy dollars at work). Without any investigation of his own, he replied that yes, he wasn't going to do anything.

Clearly, Bob wasn't familiar with Jeff letters.

Moments after hanging up with Bob, I sat down and wrote the CEO of the hospital system that runs the urgent care. I explained the situation, why it was unacceptable, attached pictures of the proximity of the CVS to the urgent care center as well as copies of the numerous bills and the collection letter.

Bob didn't know it, but he'd messed with the wrong cowboy.

Within 24 hours, I received a call from the VP Director of Patient Billing. She was apologizing up and down the place for my experience with her department. Of course the charge was excessive, and she was removing it from the bill leaving a balance of zero. Then, icing on the cake, she informed me she'd already spoken with Bob, Eric, Carlos and Aida about how they could've better handled my situation.

I imagine Bob's medical condition resolved itself right through his pants when he heard she was calling.

She also asked if I'd be willing to come in and talk to her department - including the people I'd spoken to - and give a talk about the experience from a patient point of view, and make suggestions how it could be improved.

God knows, I love playing a big room, so I told her I'd be happy to.

The moral of my story is next time you get an outrageous bill, medical or otherwise, don't just whip out the check book and gripe about it. Write a letter - to the person at the top - and ask them to do something about it. You have nothing to lose. More often than not, in my experience, they'll take some sort of action to resolve the issue.

And if you wind up talking to Bob, say hi for me.

1 3 4 32 41

They're not lucky lotto numbers. They're not the numbers from LOST (silly reader, those were 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42).

No, these are the denominations of the piles of years-old stamps that have set up house in one of my desk drawers, along with years worth of free return labels from the Braille Institute, Children's Hospital and seasonally-tinged ones from the Salvation Army.

Before the post office started selling their Forever stamps - the ones immune to future postage increases no matter what price you buy them at - they used to up the rate regularly. And the only way to accommodate the new rate was to buy additional stamps to make up the price difference. Which is why the aforementioned desk drawer is lousy with unused one, three, four and five cent stamps.

When the Forever stamps arrived, self-adhesive and promotionally tied in with icons like Buzz Lightyear, James Dean and Harry Potter, the postage leftovers never stood a chance.

But it occurred to me that in my never-ending battle against clutter, piles of paper and books not organized by size or author, one mess I could easily eliminate would be these stamps that've been piling up. All I have to do is use them.

First class postage is 47 cents right now. So a 32, three 4's and a 3-center and my letter is on it's way. Of course, if you're doing the math, that's five stamps per envelope. Which is no problem if the envelope's long enough. But on the smaller one it gets a little crowded.

Using up all these stamps looks less like postage and more like a collage. If I were the recipient, I'd be very happy someone took the time to create it, and marvel at the work that went into fitting them all on there.

Unless it's one of my bills. Then I'd just marvel if the check cleared the first time.

Don't ask: Writing a letter for you

It's been awhile since I've added to my wildly popular Don't Ask series of posts. If you read this blog with any regularity - and if you do you really should try to get out to a bookstore or a library - you know I've already covered moving, picking people up at the airport, sharing my food, loaning you money and sharing my hotel room.

Sharing seems to be something I'm not very fond of. I'm an only child. Does it show?

Anyway, I get asked by a lot of friends and family to write letters for them. Letters of recommendation, letters complaining to a company about someone or some slight they think they've been on the receiving end of, resume cover letters, as well as the resume itself.

I know why they ask. I'm a writer. I do it for a living, and I'm not bad at it. But when I'm done writing all day for my job, I don't even want to write things for myself, much less you, when I get home.

I just want to binge Breaking Bad or House of Cards again.

I do appreciate the compliment of you asking. That you think my words would get better results than yours, or would communicate what you want to say more clearly. Which no doubt they would - I mentioned I was good at this, right?

Anyway, there's no secret to getting results. Address your grievance to the CEO, not to the underlings. Use spellcheck. And say what you need to say without trying to be fancy or funny. Simple advice, no?

You might want to write it down.

Just don't ask me to do it for you.