Throwing in the towel

There are a few things you should know about me if you don’t already. First is this: I don’t like what I don’t like, and I like what I like. (Chandler impression): Could it BE any simpler? I’m not complicated. At least not that way.

Next, and I think my current wife and every girlfriend I’ve ever had will back me up on this, I’m a catch. Especially when it comes to household chores like laundry and doing the dishes. You know, the ones everyone tries to avoid. While others are looking for an excuse not to, I charge head-first towards the dryer or the sink, ready to get the job done.

I’m the first responder of household chores.

Finally, in case you haven’t noticed, my personality might be best described as slightly compulsive. Exhibit A: Breaking Bad. Exhibits B, C and D: Springsteen, “my high school girlfriend” jokes, craps tables at the Venetian.

It’s no secret when I find something I like, I tend to go overboard with it. Which brings me to the Stonewall Kitchen dishtowels you see here. I love 'em.

Because one of the things on the long list of things I can’t stand is dishes in the sink—other things include paper straws, toilet paper from Trader Joe’s and whiny creative directors who haven't learned how to put the fun in dysfunctional—I wind up doing the dishes almost every night. And while a lot of that's just rinsing and putting them in our fabulous, whisper-quiet Bosch dishwasher, there’s also a considerable amount of hand-washing ones my wife calls "How many times do I have to say it—that cannot go in the dishwasher." To dry those, I can’t use just any dishtowel.

I need one that’s properly weighted. Thick enough to absorb, but not get water-logged. Not overdesigned with birds or flowers. One that retains its soft-to-the-touch feel before, during and after I'm done.

Stonewall Kitchen is that dishtowel.

I know what you're thinking: "Jeff's going on and on about a stupid dishtowel. He must be trying to get a bunch of them free from Stonewall Kitchen."

Frankly, I'm completely insulted you'd even entertain the idea that I'd stoop so low and be so obvious about doing something like that.

And I'll let you know when they get here.

Shower power

Okay, it's time to make some hot cocoa, cuddle up in the blanket, and settle in for a totally fictional story that would never happen in the real world. Never. Trust me.

Just for arguments sake, let's say there was this house. A 63-year old house. And once upon a time, not so very long ago, this house had all the pipes replaced with copper piping because of the promise that copper piping held.

High water pressure. The ability to run different showers at the same time. Hot water almost instantly.

But for some reason, the new pipes never quite delivered on the promise. So for years, the owners of the house just made do, suffering with low water pressure that barely cleaned the soap off their bodies. They were happy everywhere in the house. Except the showers.

Then, one day, the owners of that old house decided to call a plumber. They asked this plumber to snake all the drains and sinks, and see what he could do to increase the water pressure in the showers, and finally deliver on that long ago promise.

Well, this was a very smart plumber. He knew everything there was to know about pipes and water pressure. In fact he was so smart, he knew that all the new shower heads and hoses had water regulators in them. He also knew if those were removed, the water pressure would be like showering at one of the fancy hotels the family liked to go to, like The Venetian. The Hotel Del Coronado. Or The Fairmont.

Now the water regulators were there to restrict the flow of water to conserve it, because the city the house was in had had a drought for a long time. So really, it would've been wrong to remove them.

But that sneaky plumber removed them anyway, and didn't tell the owners of the house until he was done with the job. And even though the owners knew it was wrong, they sure liked the way the showers felt after he was done.

The promise of the copper pipes all those years ago had finally come true.

And the good news is even though they were using a little more water, now they didn't have to waste water while they waited almost ten minutes for it to get hot. Plus they don't have to stay in nearly as long to get clean. So it all evened out in the end.

And the whole family showered happily ever after.