Growing growing gone

I was trying to find a good analogy about friendship, which isn't easy for me because, as I've proven time and time again here at Rotation and Balance, analogies are like, well, they aren't my strong suit.

But I'm going to go with this one.

Think of friendship as a garden. You can come in, water it and watch it grow and flourish. Of course for it to do that, you have to tend to it on a regular basis. Which, if you appreciate the beauty of the garden and the happiness it brings, isn't a problem. It's something you want to do.

Or you can just be a garden killer, leave it unwatered, keep taking stuff from it until it dies and has nothing left to give.

It's a busy world, and everyone has a life in progress. So it becomes more and more challenging to nurture friendships. I think too many of them enter the "what've you done for me lately?" phase far too easily. They forget about support you've given them when they needed it, the shoulder to cry on you provided when they were looking for one.

What've you done for me lately?

Understandably, sometimes a few of the items in the garden disappear on their own. And sometimes a little weeding needs to be done.

That angry plant that just sucks the energy out of you and kills everything around it? That's gotta go.

The one over there, that didn't like the way you watered it one day, somehow forgetting all the other days you watered it just right, well that one decides to just die on you.

More a weed than a plant, there's the one that expects to be taken care of when it needs it, offering nothing in return in the way of beauty, peace or appreciation. In fact, it would be fine if you just sent the water on it's own.

Friendships aren't fragile things, at least the good ones aren't. They can take a lot of abuse. But that doesn't mean they can't be killed off if you try hard enough.

Or don't try at all.

You're breaking up

It's not exactly a contest, but I'm thinking this is definitely going to be an audience participation post.

I don't know why this is on my mind (Note to wife: really dear, no reason), but I was thinking about break-up songs. Not the crappy, syrupy ones that have too many strings and A minor notes (impressed aren't you?). Not the teen heartache or poppy Neil Sedaka-esque ones either.

I'm talking about the ones I listened to over and over that either perfectly captured the misery of the moment, or said what I wished I had.

Break-up songs are like fingerprints: everyone has one that's unique to them and their situation. Some are wistful. Some are vengeful. And some just kind of tell it the way it is. That's the kind I usually gravitated to because those songs were always the hardest to argue with.

So not surprisingly, here's the one that was always my favorite.

Now to the audience participation part. First of all, I don't think there's anyone who doesn't like to re-live one of the most painful times in their life over and over (Jewish, hello?).

Here's what we're going to do: let me know your favorite break-up song, and why. As they come in, an impartial panel of break-up and relationship experts here at Rotation And Balance International Headquarters will select the five most popular ones. Not only will they be posted here, but if you're the one who submitted it you'll also receive your break-up song as a gift from iTunes (I'll get your email addresses when we have the winners). That way, when the mood strikes, you'll be able to experience the excruciating pain of a failed relationship over and over again.

It'll be like you're an honorary Jew. Except without the bad wine and lackluster holidays.

You're welcome.