Encore post: This is what advertising is like

A lot of people have asked me what advertising is like. And it's hard to put into words, especially when you're trying to explain it to working professionals who have to dress like adults, keep regular hours and actually show something for their efforts at the end of the day.

I wrote this little gem almost eight years ago as a way to try to explain what working in the ad biz is like. It captures it fairly well.

So keep your hands and arms inside the basket, buckle your seat belt and enjoy the ride.

So many metaphors, so little time.

Not too long ago, 20 people boarded the Windseeker ride at California's other amusement park, Knott's Berry Farm. It takes riders up 300 feet, spins them around, takes their breath away and then lowers them safely back to the ground. All in about three minutes start to finish.

I have a big appreciation for things that take 3 minutes start to finish.

Anyway, that particular day was a little different than every other day because the riders got stuck at the top for over three hours until ride mechanics rescued them.

This is exactly what advertising is like.

At first you're whisked away to dizzying heights, and what with big production budgets, location shoots, vendor lunches, comp subscriptions and days at a time out of the office, the view is spectacular. In fact, you can't see another job you'd want for miles and miles.

You start to think it'll be like that every time, but then one day you get stuck. Fighting for the work. Fighting for the budgets to execute the work you've been fighting for. Fighting the client to get them down to one thought instead of ten in a :30 second spot.

The bad news is no one's coming to rescue you. You have to do that yourself.

It often involves getting off one ride and hopping on another. And another. And another.

It's an odd way to manage a career (pause for laughs for using the word "career"), yet it's just standard operating procedure.

Besides, when it comes to amusement, you can't beat it.

For my own amusement

I was reading this article about things you can do, knowingly or not, that'll get you kicked out of an amusement park. Which would definitely ruin your day, and make the park the opposite of whatever the happiest place on earth is.

Then I started thinking, and not for the first time, what would it take to get kicked out of an ad agency? Agencies are notoriously tolerant of personalities that wouldn't last ten minutes in any other business. In fact, more often than not those people are rewarded for their bad behavior. They fail up. For the rest of us it's like living in opposite world.

Anyway, I decided to quickly draw up a by no means complete or scientific Agency/Amusement Park Ejection Equivalency Chart to see how things that get you tossed out of parks would fare in the agency world.

So face forward, buckle your seat belt and keep your arms and hands inside the car.

Big Coolers

Hard-sided coolers are prohibited at Universal, SeaWorld and Disney. Universal also prohibits soft coolers larger than 8.5 in wide x 6 in high x 6 in deep.

The biggest concern agencies have about coolers is if they have enough beer in them for everybody to go with the pizza they bring in on Summer Fridays, or at the annual pep talk.

Dressing Up As Your Favorite Disney Character

In accordance with park policy, adults who dress in attire that looks too similar to a real Disney character may be asked to leave.

The last thing agencies care about is what someone wears. One of the great benefits of the business is that no matter how long you’ve been in it, you can still dress like a 15-year old. Knit caps. Hoodies. Jeans. T-shirts. Sleeping Beauty. Pocahontas. Mr. Incredible. It’s all good. Even account people don’t have to wear suits and ties, although it’s still easy to spot them. Their jeans are creased.

Markers & Paint

Think again before unleashing your street art skills during your next visit to a theme park. Parks spend millions of dollars each year to maintain their facilities and keep grounds clean. Wannabe graffiti taggers are certainly not welcome at Six Flags parks where magic markers and spray paints of any kind are expressly prohibited.

Are you kidding? Markers and paints are tools of the trade. As far as spray paint, well, you usually find that in the parking lot near that huffing sound.

Packing A Picnic

While small snack items are permitted at Universal Orlando, packing a full meal is prohibited. Per park policy, there is a ban on “picnic lunches” and “food that requires heating or refrigeration.”

You know the old saying about an army traveling on its stomach? So does an agency. There’s almost always food to be found. Whether it’s brought in for late night work sessions, left over from a client presentation, or – and this is usually the good food – brought in by a production company/media rep who wants you to look at a reel. There’s also assorted candy, cookies, sodas and sour grapes lying around. Lots of sour grapes.

Obscene Tattoos

If you have a tattoo that may be considered offensive, try a long sleeve shirt or you may be kicked out of a Disney park. They prohibit “obscene tattoos” but do not define parameters.

Let’s put it this way: you can be kicked out of an agency for not having a tattoo.The more obscene the better. It shows you're edgy, bold, and don't give a damn what the man thinks. Unless the man is the guy at the unemployment office. Then you're going to want to wear long sleeves.

Feeding The Animals

While Disney’s Animal Kingdom and SeaWorld offer visitors the opportunity to pet or feed certain animals under attendant supervision, feeding one of these animals on your time can result in swift eviction from Disney, SeaWorld, and Six Flags.

See Packing A Picnic.

It's easy to see agencies are pretty loose and freewheelin' when it comes to the kinds of concerns amusement parks fret about. By the way, this isn't the first time I've compared ad agencies to amusement parks. I also did it here. The reason I keep doing it is they just have so many things in common.

Although I'm not sure which roller-coaster ride makes me scream louder.