The new GQP mascot

Why doesn't the GQP just get it over with already.

It's long past time to stop insulting the image of the gentle, majestic elephant by using it as a symbol for an insurrectionist party made up of spineless, ass-kissing, backward-looking, boot-licking cowards.

"C'mon Jeff, tell us how you really feel."

It's not hard to recognize they've never been ones for accuracy or truth, but you'd think they'd really like to have something more representative of their true character to put on their Made In China red caps and Let's Go Brandon t-shirts.

And what could be better than a mascot that universally represents the total absence of courage.

Today's GQP lives their sad, fearful little lives scared of everything good, right, fair and just. To name a few: women's rights. LGBTQ rights. Gay marriage. Gun control. Universal healthcare. NATO. Ukraine. Abortion rights. Voter rights. BLM. Police reform. Truth. Facts—real ones, not the alternative kind.

The list goes on longer than one of Moscow Mitch's floor speeches.

Seriously, the best thing they could do is reposition themselves as what they've always been: the party of people your parents warned you about becoming. After all does anyone really want to grow up to be Ted Cruz? Jim Jordan? Cadet Bone Spurs? Lindsey Graham? John Cornyn? Tom Cotton? Lauren Bobert? Marjorie Taylor Greene? It doesn't matter. Insert any Republican politician name here (with the exception of Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger, for the moment).

I will admit one thing the GQP does exceedingly well. They confirm the obvious to anyone watching.

That besides courage, they're also missing a heart and a brain.

The party's over

Ding dong the GOP is dead. And it wasn’t a house that fell on it. It was Trump Tower.

It’s about time. It came into focus the last four, dreadful, depressing years, but it’s really been happening since Nixon and before. The party of family values, fiscal responsibility, military supporters and state’s rights has sold their souls—or whatever was living in that space—and become the party of a porn-star banging draft-dodger who’s gone bankrupt at least six times and tried to take federal control of elections.

I could list all the ways and reasons Cadet Bone Spurs is the most vile, vulgar, repulsive, incomprehensibly stupid human on earth. But they’re all well known by now. And in an extremely uncharacteristic move I want to keep this post short tonight.

After yesterday’s attempted coup by his radicalized supporters, a few things are clear.

First, as a country we really need to up our educational game. If just fifty percent of those asshats storming the capitol had teeth, an eighth-grade education and a class in civics, maybe they would’ve had a shot at understanding what a monster they’ve been supporting.

Maybe.

Next, somebody has to call a handy man to come put bars on the windows at the Capitol. You’d think after 9/11 and two Capitol Police were shot and killed there a couple years ago they might’ve tightened things up security wise. If bars are too bold a move, start with thicker glass or two-inch thick plexiglass. You'll thank me later.

Also, let's be honest—this white privilege bullshit has to stop. I know it’s been said everywhere but I’m going to say it again: if that had been a Black Lives Matter protest, with protesters packing automatic weapons, dressed like Vikings and screaming like banshees heading into the capitol, the police would’ve shot first and asked questions later. They also would’ve been handing out plastic handcuffs and had prisoner buses lining the National Mall with their engines running.

There has to be a shortcut to getting seditionists like Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley out of government (unless it’s a federal prison). The Insurrection Act was written for traitors like them, and there needs to be a quicker way to implement it. Maybe not having to have bipartisan agreement would move things along a little faster.

The good news is democracy will survive, but thankfully the GOP, at least in its current form, will not. Trump will be gone, and get far less media than he gets now. Yesterday was the topping on his legacy as a traitor. And while nothing has been able to stick in the last four years, I have a feeling this will. He's already striking a much more concilliatory tone this morning, and even got close to conceding the election. So he's realized the errors of his ways and he's a changed man, right?

If you believe that I have a membership at Mar-A-Lago I'd like to sell you.

As expected, right on schedule, the infighting, backpedaling, denials, conspiracy theories and revisionist history is already in full swing and spewing out of the unstable genius’ enablers.

Southern belle Lindsay Graham gave a drunken, sweaty speech when they reconvened for the electoral vote count last night about how he supports the Constitutional process. He obviously forgot he was on the phone with Georgia two weeks ago threatening federal investigations if they didn’t come up with more votes for tRump.

The truth is the GOP should've died a long time ago.

It's hard to figure how they've survived this long without a heart, a brain or courage.

The deep end

It’s always worse when it happens to someone you know.

As if 70 million fellow Americans who still think a nazi-lovin’, race-baitin’, woman-hatin’, name-callin’, orange face-paintin’, con-runnin’, daughter-lustin’, rumor-spreadin', handicapped-mockin’, TV-watchin’, conspiracy theory-spoutin’, covid-ignorin’, dictator-lovin’, baby-handed traitor should be the leader of the free world weren’t enough, come to find out one of them happens to be a friend of mine.

Someone I’ve worked with.

Someone I’ve worked for.

Someone I respect. Strike that. Respected.

I’ve known him almost nine years and in that time we’ve had meals together, fought for great work together and had My Dinner With Andre-esque conversations about things that matter. Although we didn’t get together often, when we did we’d enjoy each other’s company immensely.

One of the things I always liked about him was he never took anything at face value. He always made it a point to take the deep dive, looking into the rest of the story to find out where the truth lived. But going by his Facebook feed the last few months, the truth is just a distant memory. And his deep-diving, fact-finding days are long gone.

The only diving he’s doing now is off the deep end into the cold, cruel, dirty water on the edge of town in Trumpland. I don’t’ even recognize him.

His FB feed is filled with conspiracy theories about the virus (It’s a hoax! The death rate is less than the flu!) and memes about how awful Democrats are, that of course are blatant projections of all the corruption and criminal activity going on in the GOP from the top down. There's no shortage of ramblings about how they're taking away our freedom asking us to wear masks, and a lot of "Mommy I don't wanna! I don't wanna!". And of course, the obligatory "alternative facts" charts showing the crisis isn't as bad as it's being made out to be.

Most surprising are the undisguised racial slur memes against the Vice-President elect. It would all be worth serious discussion if the posts, as crass and ugly as some of them are, were from reliable sources. The ones I've seen are from Breibart, Fox state news, OAN and other extreme right outlets. Apparently serious discussion isn't what he's looking for.

I'll be the first to admit I post quotes, memes and articles that are anti-Trump and anti-Republican. But they're based in fact, sourced reliably, factually accurate and often quite hystically funny, even when they're snarky—which they often are. You're welcome.

He's also posted responses to the many comments he gets about how off base and crazy he is, and his replies usually boil down to "..if we're really friends we can disagree like adults." Well, maybe on some subjects, but not when things like racism and cruelty aren't dealbreakers for him.

So I'm grieving. I'm sad for who he's become, and the friend I've lost. I've never engaged with him on Facebook because he's clearly too far dug in. And by dug in I mean gone. Besides, I've never liked FB fights.

I'll always be a friend to the person he was. I just can't be one to the person he is.

One is the loneliest number

He looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. What he has is a target on his back.

Mitt Romney did something today that will without a doubt have long lasting consequences for his political future. He voted to convict a sitting president in his own party.

I've never been a fan of Romney, but I'm filled with gratitude he had the character and bravery to look at the evidence, vote for witnesses (also against his party) and take seriously his oath to be an impartial juror in the shithole president's impeachment trial.

The Cult-Of-Trump backlash was immediate. Within seconds, literally seconds, of his vote, Trump PACS started running ads calling him a traitor, the leader of the Democratic resistance and a patsy for the opposition. Pre-printed fundraising flyers asking for money to fight Romney were in the mail before the final gavel.

I'm sure he's also getting threats to himself and his family by the fine people who want to make America great again.

In the current environment, the vote Romney cast today was nothing short of heroic. It's something he should be proud of. History will recall his bravery for decades to come—just as it will record the sniveling cowardice of all who enabled the unstable genius in his criminal activities, betraying the country and the constitution.

For all the wrong reasons, Romney's now Republican enemy number one. I believe he should become an independent, so he's free to vote his conscience without consequence. And also so the rest of the GOP asshats would have to sidle up to him for his vote whenever they wanted to pass one of their bills reversing the last fifty years of social progress.

I've never agreed with him on much of anything, and I don't imagine I will going forward. Mitt Romney is probably never going to earn my vote.

But today, he definitely earned my admiration.

Comedy central

It'll be one of those questions: where were you when democracy died?

It's all over but the shouting. On the heels of Jeffrey Epstein's party pal—Mr. Underwear—Alan Dershowitz making the absurd argument the liar-in-chief can do anything he wants as long as he believes it's for the good of the country, today 51 chickenshit, spineless, ball-less GOP senators united against the country and constitution they took an oath to defend by voting not to allow first-hand witnesses and documents in the unstable genius' impeachment trial.

So now it's Trump unplugged and unleashed. He now knows—although I think he's known it all along—he can initiate any level of corruption, destruction, chaos and havoc, and he won't be checked on it. It's the saddest day in American politics since the Kennedy assassination.

But if you know anything about me—and if you don't by now then I don't even know where to go with that—you know that, gosh darn it, I'm a cockeyed optimist. The silver lining to all this is at least comic relief is on the way.

This Tuesday night is Trump's annual Hate of the Union Speech before congress. He'll open with the line presidents always open with: The state of the union is strong. He'll then ramble off script about the impeachment hoax, call Adam Schiff names, blame Obama for it all and say how he'll investigate Hillary.

Applause applause applause.

Then he'll slur on about evil immigrants, how he'll finish getting the wall built (right after he repairs the chunk of it that blew over in the wind), how climate change is a hoax and how he's demolished all those pesky regulations that guaranteed things nobody needs, like clean air and water.

The Republican sheep—I'd say snowflakes except snow is clean—will applaud every laugh line, knowing if they don't they run the risk of having bad things said about them in a tweet. That and losing Trump charity donations backchanneled to their re-election campaigns.

He'll wrap up his set with something about how he's just getting started, and needs four more years to get the job done. Or eight, because why the hell not? He's heard many people are saying that would be a good idea.

Like every comedian's set, eventually the red light will cue him his time is up. I'm pretty sure I know how he'll wrap it up.

"Well everybody, looks like my time is up. You've been a great democracy. Don't forget to tip your senator. Goodnight!"

WYSIWYG

There's a great line in John Prine's song Dear Abby that goes "You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't..." Nowhere is there a more crystal clear embodiment of that sentiment than the unstable genius himself.

From the second he descended on the escalator in Trump tower with Malaria at his side, we knew Donald Trump was a festering, racist piece of shit. He didn't tell us we were mistaken. He didn't try to hide it. He based his campaign on it. And he's basing his presidency on it.

So I guess the question I have is why is everyone still waiting for him to change? Talking heads, pundits, commentators and journalists all make it a point to mention when he's not acting presidential. SPOILER ALERT: he's never going to.

It's like asking an old man to walk faster. Even if he wanted to he can't do it.

And of course the shithole president doesn't want to.

For some reason there's this rating scale where every time he accidentally stumbles into doing or saying something that remotely resembles anything presidential (which does not include boarding Air Force One with toilet paper on your shoe), it gets mentioned and he gets points for it. It's the equivalent of giving a potty-mouthed child a cookie as a reward for good behavior. A participation trophy at a kids' soccer game.

The other thing I hear a lot coming out of cable commentators is how history is going to judge him harshly, along with his GOP henchmen. Like they give a shit. They'll have robbed the piggy bank, cashed out and stolen history's Rolex long before it has a chance to judge anything. Besides, I hear from many people that history is just fake news.

The more I have to listen to that awful, eight-grade vocabulary, mobster wannabe droning on, the more I realize the problem with the traitor-in-chief isn't that he's hiding something.

It's that he isn't hiding anything.

In defense of thoughts and prayers

Sadly there's been no shortage of horrific events where people are moved to offer thoughts and prayers to those who've been involved in them directly or indirectly. What I don't understand is the (mostly online) hostility I see about people who extend that kindness.

The argument seems to be A) it doesn't accomplish anything B) It simply isn't doing enough or C) There's no God to hear your prayers anyway.

I'm not sure where the notion that just because someone offers comfort to another in their thoughts and prayers, it means they aren't doing other things—like donating money, volunteering, taking action, protesting—at the same time.

The two actions are not mutually exclusive.

What I think happens is Republican politicians who control the government right now (hopefully not much longer) make a giant photo op out of sending thoughts and prayers, then having a moment of silence, then going back to business as usual destroying Obama's legacy and lining their pockets. They cheapen the currency of concern and compassion.

Here's the thing: I can't tell you how many times, and there have been many, when friends who are quite vocal about their atheism and skepticism haven't hesitated a nanosecond to ask me to pray or keep a good thought for their sick child or parent.

That they get a job they're up for.

They can find the right words to say to a loved one.

They can make rent.

That the dog comes home.

That the diagnosis is negative.

And when they ask, each and every time, I'm more than happy to do it.

I believe in the power of prayer, and the comfort and peace it can bring people just knowing they're being thought of and loved. I've experienced it in my own life, for example when my parents died and a close friend was dying of AIDS.

In a world that's more and more demanding and uncertain, thoughts and prayers—along with other things—is an easy, meaningful offering I can give to comfort friends or strangers who need it. I don't see the downside.

By the way, I'm fine if you don't believe it, or think I'm foolish for doing it. To each their own. I'm just not sure where the venom and vitriol come from (unless it's the asshat Republican politician posers causing it—see above).

At any rate, I think there are more important things to rage against than me offering or someone taking comfort in the fact I'm thinking about them, hoping for the best and wishing them well along with anything else I may be doing to help their cause.

But if you happen to be one of those who gets angry just seeing the title of this post, you know what I'll be doing to wish you peace and calm.

Reconsidering John McCain

As I watched the 60 Minutes interview with John McCain, I felt a deep, unexpected sadness at the thought he's not going to be around. He's bravely fighting yet another battle, this time with glioblastoma—the same aggressive brain cancer that forms in the brain and spinal cord. The same cancer that took Ted Kennedy.

I suppose like a lot of people, I've gone in and out of liking and disliking McCain. But in his sunset years in the Senate, even though he hasn't always walked the walk, I find the thought of his absence painful.

I thought I'd never be able to forgive him for unleashing the political train wreck that is Sarah Palin on the world, but I have. Despite surfacing with some idiotic gibberish every once in awhile, with the exception of the occasional brief appearance on Fox News, she's long ago been relegated to a footnote, like Kato Kaelin or Ross Perot.

Like we all thought Trump would be.

The constant character trait in McCain's life has, without a doubt, been bravery. When he was shot down and held prisoner, he was tortured relentlessly. At one point, he was offered early release, which he refused. He wouldn't leave until all his fellow soldiers who'd been captured with him were freed.

He's fought endlessly and tirelessly for things in the Senate. And whether I agreed with them or not, and it was mostly not, I admired his intelligence and persistence.

Most recently, at 81, he's geared up for yet another battle. He's made himself a pariah in many dark, dusty corners of the GOP for having the unmitigated gall to do the right thing, and stand up to the most unqualified sociopath ever to hold the office of the presidency. People speculate he's doing it because at this point he's got nothing to lose, but I think it's more than that. I think it's what he genuinely believes.

Donald Trump's statement about liking heroes that weren't captured should make everyone cringe. With McCain being a genuine hero, from a military family of heroes, the statement from Trump is as vile, vulgar and uninformed as the liar making it.

The reason it angers him so deeply is that McCain has become the de facto conscience of the Republican party. His seniority gives him the gravitas, and his sense of what's right and what elected representatives are supposed to do has earned him respect from both sides of the aisle.

I have a friend who was involved at the highest levels of the McCain presidential campaign. We don't see each other often, but when we do we never talk about it, because we both know where each other stands.

I'm nothing if not vocal about my views.

But lately, I see what she saw in him.

I hope McCain beats the odds and beats his cancer. At this critical time in history, it'd be an unthinkable loss to say goodbye to one of the senate's last voices of reason.

Let's hope we don't have to for a while longer.