Banjo boy

At just the right angle, the adult Billy Redden looks a bit like the late, great Robin Williams.

Whom, you might ask, is Billy Redden? He happens to be an actor who was in one of the most iconic scenes in motion picture history, playing the banjo boy in Deliverance. In a stunning moment, he winds up playing a musical duet, the now famous Dueling Banjos, with Ronnie Cox as Jon Voight, Ned Beatty (who has his own iconic moment in the film for an entirely different reason) and Burt Reynolds look on. Truth be told, it was a little Hollywood magic: it wasn't actually Billy playing. But that ain't no never mind.

As anyone who's in the industry knows, show biz can be a cruel tease. And the years and opportunities haven't been particularly kind to Billy. Few and far between, he has had other parts. He was in Tim Burton's Big Fish, and had a small part on Blue Collar as—wait for it—an inbred car mechanic who plays the banjo.

Currently, Billy is working in maintenance at WalMart, picking up trash among other things.

Like Andy Robinson, who did go on to a moderately successful career after playing the Zodiac-esque killer Scorpio in Dirty Harry, Billy was typecast fairly quickly at a young age. He reminds me of Ron Wayne, the third founder of Apple who sold his shares after nine days for $900. If he'd held on to them, they'd be worth $32 billion today. And while it's a fact Billy never flirted with that kind of fortune, I can't help think they're similar in that "what might've been" way. Given the right management, a little more training and a few lucky breaks, would he have been a household name, with a brilliant debut as a child actor?

In the few interviews I've read, it's clear I'm more bothered by it than he is.

The truth is he has a scene that any actor would kill for, one that will now and forever be an enduring part of film history. Every once in a while, I find myself in the mood to watch it. And it always brings me great joy when I do.

If he watches it, I hope Billy feels the same way.

Greetings

Here's a trend I could do without. Greeters.

It's not that I'm an unfriendly person. I think if you asked anyone who knows me, right after they stopped laughing they'd tell you I'm actually pretty much of a social butterfly.

But really, this trend of having greeters at every business has to stop.

Of course Walmart is where it all started. It was originally hailed as a great idea, letting retirees earn some money and interact with the public by giving them smiles, handshakes and fist-bumps.

Plus, what with the blue vest, it gave eighty-year olds yet another fashion option.

But like weeds, now greeters are popping up all over. The place that it irritates me the most is at my bank, Wells Fargo.

Already known as a bastion of friendliness and personal attention (cough, cough), now I can't even run into the bank without being stopped in my tracks with "Welcome to Wells Fargo" and "How's your day going?" and other assorted small talk.

Here's the thing: when I run into the bank, I want to run into the bank and run back out again. What I don't want is to be intercepted by a teller walking the floor, who should be behind the counter making that winding line move faster.

As if that isn't annoying enough, now the tellers are suddenly all chatty and small talk. "Is it nice outside today?" Really? Here's an idea: look out the fuckin' window while you're taking my deposit. "Busy day for ya?" If it is, standing here talking to you isn't going to help is it.

I appreciate that they're trying to humanize the experience and promote a friendly image. But the needs of the customer have to come first, and no one's in there to make friends.

So stop talking to me, do your job, and get me out of there as fast as you can.

And have a nice day.