Ups and downs

My daughter, her husband (still have to get used to saying that) and a friend went to Disneyland today. I’m assuming while they’re enjoying the overpriced food and mouse-logo sweatshirts you need a co-signer to purchase, they’ll make time to ride the rollercoaster in Disneyland’s sister park, California Adventure.

There was a time, not all that long ago, when the sight of a rollercoaster filled me with excitement. The louder the screams from passengers, the more I wanted to be in the front row.

I was fearless. I was invincible. I was much younger.

But that was then and this is now. Today, you won’t catch me near one of those headache-inducing, nausea-promoting contraptions even if someone was bribing me with a lifetime supply of front row Springsteen tickets.

Well, maybe then.

For starters, the physics are no longer my friend. Once upon a time, the sheer force of a 60 mph corkscrew was exhilarating. But now it’s like my brain sends out a mass email to all my nerve endings saying, “Code red! We’re not 20 anymore! Shut it down!” Suddenly my head is whiplashing through loops and corkscrews.

By the way, Loops & Corkscrews was my favorite childhood cereal. SWIDT?

And another thing. What ever happened to the classic rollercoaster that just went really fast, dropped steeply, and maybe had one loop? Modern coasters flip you upside down, tilt you sideways, and sometimes even hang you face-down.

“Why is the sky on my left now?”

When I was younger, my balance was like a rock. I could spin in circles for hours and walk away like I was auditioning for Cirque du Soleil. Now, after one helix on a modern coaster, my inner ear stages a mutiny. Another gift of aging.

I also never want to be that rider. The person who gets off the ride looking like they survived Oceanic 815. Pale, sweaty, clutching their stomach, mumbling, “Never again.”

I’ve reached the age where I’m okay saying, “I’ll just eat a churro and watch.”

Here’s the thing: I still love thrills—just different ones. Simpler ones, like parallel parking on the first try or remembering to bring my reusable bags to Trader Joe’s. I even get a tiny adrenaline rush when my phone battery is at 2% and I find a charger in time.

Who needs 10-story drops when life is already full of heart-pounding moments?

There’s a certain wisdom that comes with age—or at least that’s what I tell myself when I pass on the rollercoaster and opt for the carousel instead. I’m happy waving from the sidelines, holding everyone’s jackets while the rest of the group screams themselves silly. At least I know I’ll be headache-free and standing upright at the end of the day.

I don’t think of my recently found rollercoaster aversion as a loss. More of a shift in priorities. I’m grounding myself and I’m okay with it.

And if you need me, I’ll be at the churro stand.

Drive she said

I wouldn’t go so far as calling myself a Disneyphile (although it would be one of the nicer things I’ve been called). But I did grow up in L.A., and probably spent an equal amout of time between school and Disneyland (well, maybe a little more at DLand).

I’m a California boy, and I do love Disneyland.

As a card-carrying Deluxe annual pass holder, I’ve done the math to figure out I have to go there at least 6 times during the year to make it pay for itself. No problem: between DLand, its sister park California Adventure, and summer it'll be a cinch.

The beauty of it is I can go anytime I want (except for a few blocked days) and pretty much forget the outside world and have a good time. Until I have to pay real-world money for food in the park (seriously, would it kill them to include a few meals in the annual pass fee).

But I recover quickly.

Anyway, last Saturday night it was time for my daughter and me to renew our annual passes. Instead of doing it online, which wouldn’t have given us any excuse to go into the park, we made the 15-minute drive to Anaheim and did it in person at a Disneyland ticket booth.

Disney cast member Linda from Laguna Niguel - who may or may not have been an audio-animatronic robot - efficiently and pleasantly helped us.

Afterwards, we thought we’d take the new annual passes for a spin. So we went into Calfiornia Adventure, got the passes scanned, and visited the newest land: Cars Land.

When Disney decides to wow you, no one does it better. Radiator Springs is the spittin' image of the fictional cars town in the movie come to life. It is incredible. Visually rich and detailed, stunning in its vibrancy, it actually is the only Disney "land" that feels like you're in another world entirely.

We waited an hour to get on the Radiator Springs Racers, the roller coaster ride that simulates the race in the movie. It leisurely takes you through the town of Radiator Springs, then suddenly you're at a starting line with another car full of people.

You get the green light, and you're off. It's not nearly a long enough or fast enough race, but it is fun. It has just enough of what I call "Disney Danger" on the curves to make you want to immediately go on it again. If the line wasn't a two hour wait when we got off we would have.

We went on a couple more rides, and then headed home. No need to do it all in one night.

We have all year.