Have you seen the trailer

I'm not a fan of camping. To me, roughing it is a three-star hotel without cable.

Many times in my life, some well-meaning friends (who apparently don't know me that well) have tried to con me into going on a camping trip with them. They immediately sense my resistance, and try to appeal to my more earthy side: call of the wild, at one with nature, back to the beginning and all that.

It never works. Ever.

It's not that I've lost the desire to sleep in the woods, use toilet paper I could sand my coffee table with and eat powdered filet mignon (Just add hot water and stir!), I never had it in the first place. I like my creature comforts.

Which is why it surprises me as much as you to hear myself say this, but, not that I was looking for it, I may have found a way to have my amenities and camp with them too.

The 2016 Airstream International Signature.

For only $64,048 I can be in the wild and the lap of luxury at the same time. Here's how Airstream describes this silver beauty on their website:

"With an interior designed by award-winning architect Christopher C. Deam, the International Signature is the definition of upscale. Light pours in through panoramic vista windows, reflecting off sleek polished surfaces. The result is an open environment that will take your breath away.

It’s style that sizzles, with Corian® galley tops, premium fabrics, rich modern colors, and plush Ultraleather™ seating. Signature design meets the iconic Airstream line."

I don't know what Corian galley tops are, but I like them already.

Of course, if I picked up one of these babies I'd have to get a Ford 350 to haul it around to campsites. And when I'm not using it out on the road, it'd just be sitting in my driveway, blocking my asshole neighbor's kitchen window and pissing them off.

Now that I think about it, my driveway is a perfectly good place to camp out.

Snow balls

I'm going to cop to a little bait-and-switch on this particular post. It's not about snow balls. Well, it is - just not the kind pictured here.

I'll try to be delicate.

I'm lucky enough to have a nice Japanese luxury car. It has many features designed to make the driver, and the ride, as comfortable as possible. One of those features happens to be perforated leather seats, which come that way from the factory - although with a dog and kids, they'd eventually wind up that way anyway.

The seats are perforated because they're both heated and cooled, depending on which makes you more comfortable on a hot or cold day. I've used the seat heater many times. Since I've owned the car, I've never used the seat cooler. Until today.

Now, I'm not the only one who drives my car. My wife drives it, and so does my son. Both of them have a habit of leaving the seat heater on when I get the car back.

Today, I was driving up to Marmalade Cafe to meet my good friend Carrie for lunch. As I was flying up the 405, riding on rails and listening to Tony Bennett singing For Once In My Life, it suddenly dawned on me that, how shall I put this, the jewels were a little chilly.

Not knowing the seat cooler had been left on high, and never having used it, I wasn't familiar with the sensation. And frankly, it wasn't my first thought.

My first thought was that something was terribly wrong with the boys.

After a quick investigation - which must've been very entertaining for the cars next to me - I finally figured out the seat cooler had been left on.

Oddly enough, once I knew nothing was wrong, it just felt right.