Emotional energy conservation

In case you didn’t notice, we’re in the middle of an energy crisis. Not the one involving Saudi oil barrels. Or the Texas power grid. I’m not talking about the reduction in natural gas production. Also not preaching about greenhouse gas emissions.

I’m talking about the emotional energy crisis.

Maybe it’s just me, because a lot of times it is, but there are just too many things being thrown at me on a daily basis that, for some reason, I’m supposed to care about. It’s a never-ending news cycle in the loosest sense of the word "news."

There are of course more than enough legitimate issues we should all be concerned about:

The war in Ukraine.

The next covid variant.

The national debt.

The fact congress is being held hostage by spineless, right-wing, Trump-loving, racist, conspiracy theory loving, power hungry liars and seditionists more concerned with conducting revenge hearings against imaginary wrongs than actually governing.

I can’t even.

Then there’s the ever increasing, never ending tidal wave of stories about things I couldn’t care about if I tried, but for some reason algorithms deem worthy of being served up to me as if they mattered. And as if I cared. A few examples of “news” from today alone:

Michael Strahan Poses for Rare Photo With Girlfriend at Hollywood Walk of Fame Ceremony

Ashley Graham Shows Off 'Ripped' Gym Session Photo With Husband

See David Foster and Katharine McPhee’s Toddler’s Amazing Drum Solo

Justin Bieber sells his music catalog

Shailene Woodley opens up about Aaron Rodgers relationship

Kylie Jenner reveals son’s name and how to pronounce it

New pill treats diabetic cats without daily insulin shots

Vanna White Distracts ‘Wheel of Fortune’ Viewers With Another Bold Outfit

J.Lo and Ben Affleck Reunite with Jennifer Garner for Family Event

Alright, full disclosure—I’m a little worried about Jennifer Garner. She shouldn’t have to put up with that crap. But everything else, nope.

I only have so much emotional energy to spend, and last I looked the emotional energy filling station was closed. So I suppose the only answer is to try and shut out the noise and focus on the things that really matter.

Now if I could just stop thinking about how much those cats were paying for insulin.

Everybody feng shui tonight

I was sitting with my work roommates today and for some reason, perhaps to avoid work, or maybe to avoid work, we got to discussing the Chinese pseudoscience of feng shui.

According to Wikipedia (if you can't believe them who can you believe?) feng shui "claims to use energy forces to harmonize individuals with their surrounding environment."

Whatever.

But I suppose since I was the one who started this discussion, I should probably see it through. So let's unpack this. Or at least rearrange it.

Years ago on the late great show Penn & Teller's Bullshit, they did an episode on feng shui (and by the way, feng shui has the same number of letters as bullshit—coincidence? I think not). They recruited several different feng shui "experts" and had them all work on the same room, and rearrange the same furniture to achieve maximum harmony with the environment. What's so amazing is each of them arranged the room in the exact same way, proving feng shui is real and they all knew exactly what they were doing and talking about.

I'm just funnin' ya. They were quacks, and monumentally full of, well, you know the name of the show.

Here's the thing: I'm rarely able to harmonize with anything, much less my environment. My energy flow, such as it is, gets interrupted on an hourly basis. And moving the bed out from under a window, making sure it's not directly across from a door or having it face east isn't going to change that.

In the example of feng shui you see above, apparently placing the bed over the stove is not a good idea. I'd add especially if you have a one-story house. But I think if you're sleeping on another floor, the stove is off, and the house isn't on fire, you'll be able to harmonize with your pillow just fine.

Feng shui "experts" always remind me of dog whisperers—those people who claim they can talk to dogs and tell you what they're thinking and feeling. If you've ever hired one, I can answer that for you.

You're thinking you have too much money and feeling like throwing some of it away.

At any rate, under the heading of don't knock it until you've tried it, I might just move my favorite chair closer to the patio window to bask in the morning light, align my chí and absorb all the energy of a new day filled with potential and possibilities to see how well I'm able to harmonize with my environment.

Plus I can see the TV better from there.

Cool it

I love air conditioning. Which may explain why I like colder climates, like San Francisco, Portland and Seattle.

I think it's because I have a very low sweat point. Anything over 60 degrees, and people are trying to throw pennies in me and make a wish.

Anything over 70 degrees and I look like a real-life version of Albert Brooks in Broadcast News.

So of course, being a Los Angeles native and still living in southern California doesn't present me with a lot of opportunities to appreciate the cool weather. Or wear nice wool jackets. Sure there's the occasional plummet to 58 degrees, but you never know when that's coming which makes it hard to plan for.

One dream vacation of mine would be to stay a few nights in the Ice Hotel in Sweden. It's built in winter, melts in the summer and rebuilt the following winter.

The very definition of a seasonal business.

They have cool rooms like the one here, and warm rooms, which are in more permanent structures on the property. But no one goes there for the warm room.

I started this post talking about how I love air conditioning. To me, one of the greatest sensations is walking inside from a hot day into a freezing casino...er...building. I also like sliding under the bedsheets, pulling up the blanket and going to sleep in an ice-cold room.

Admittedly, it's not the most energy efficient way to live. But what I do is run my electricity at about 125% capacity. They when they ask everyone to conserve energy and cut back 20%, I dial it down to 105%. It's what I like to call a win-win.

Anyway, it's 70 degrees outside, 62 inside and a half hour before midnight. So I'm heading off to bed.

Right after I turn it down to 57.

Light at the end of the day

I hope you're sitting down. I don't know how to break this to you, but my Jedi instincts tell me the best way is to just come right out and say it: there are a lot of babies and whiners on the internet.

I know, I'm as shocked as you are. Shocked.

If you've been on Facebook or Twitter in the last couple days, like me you've probably noticed an ungodly amount of posts talking about how much people hate daylight savings time. How they just. don't. understand. why we have to change the clocks at all. How they're soooooo tired because they lose one hour in 24 out of one day in 365.

I'd like to promise all of you complaining about it that this is not the worst thing that will ever happen in your life. Trust me.

As you might've guessed, I happen to be a big supporter of DST. And I can't even begin to understand why everyone else isn't. There are so many more reasons to like it than not.

Let's start at the wallet. The fact it's light until almost 9 means electric bills go down. Way down for at least six months. Who's against that? Whiners? Anyone?

Next, the hideous commute I'm up against every night seems to get a little easier, because for some odd reason drivers are able to navigate better when they can actually see the road and what's around them. Body shops don't do as well during DST, but they make it up when we Fall Back.

Finally, and this may just be me, but I seem to have more energy. The longer it's light out, the longer I think it's not time to settle in for the night. I'm out and about longer getting more done. Not just more of what I have to do, but more of what I want to do.

So for all the whiners out there bitching and moaning about switching All The Clocks In The House! ahead and losing your precious hour, I say this with love: just shut up.

You'll get your hour back in November.

Look at it this way. Now that the day's longer, you'll have more time to think of something else to complain about.