Tread lightly

Is it wrong to love a tire?

Here's the thing. I used to drive a performance car. In fact, I've written about it here before. If I may quote myself, and really, who's going to stop me:

"I used to drive an Audi A6. Of all the cars I've owned, it was my favorite (my least favorite was my first - a 1965 Plymouth Fury, don't get me started). I'd get behind the wheel of my A6 and hit the curved freeway onramp by my house at 70 mph. It stuck like glue. After all, it was a car built for the autobahn. I’ve since tried it with my Lexus ES350. Come to find out it's not exactly the same experience."

Well, after I pulled the onramp stunt with the Lexus, I decided when the time came to replace the Bridgestones that came with the car - and it couldn't come fast enough - I was going to get performance tires and see if it made any difference on a car built for luxury.

SPOILER ALERT: The answer is "Hell yeah!"

When the Bridgestones finally wore down, I went to America's Tire Store for replacements thinking I'd get something like the sporty Michelins. I'd never really considered Yoko's because they were expensive, low profile, the tread wore fast, yada yada yada. But then the tire guy helping me said the magic word: Grip.

From that point on, money was no object. I can't remember which model Yoko's I got, but he wasn't lying.

The minute the car was done, even on the slow roll out of the parking lot I could feel the difference. When I hit that onramp again at 70mph - and if my kids are reading this you should never, ever do that - it was amazing. Like I was Krazy glued to the road.

After that Lexus was totaled (read all about it), I got another one. And I once again find myself playing a waiting game until the tires wear down, or until I have a few hundred to spare for new Yoko's.

I've always liked tire stores. I love the smell of new tires, the pressurized air, the way you can bounce and roll the tires from one end of the shop to the other. I am easily entertained.

I've discovered that, besides new wiper blades, tires are the cheapest investment you can make in your car that offer the most tangible difference.

I was going to end this post with "something something, because that's how I roll."

But I think we both know I'm better than that.

More hot air

This morning I took the wife's Land Cruiser - the car of choice I use to come up behind Smart Cars at a high rate of speed when they're stopped at red lights - to America's Tire Store. I don't know if it's really America's Tire Store, but I suppose they couldn't say it if it wasn't true.

Anyway, I was there because I think the last time my wife had the tire pressure checked was 2004, and I thought it was time to do something nice to make sure she was safe on the highways and byways.

And score some marriage points.

We buy all our tires for both cars there. The customer service is great, the prices are competitive and whether it's patching, replacing or inspecting, they're usually pretty quick about getting it done. Besides, even when they're not, they're in a shopping mall with lots of stores I like and an Edwards 26 Theater. So there's that.

They also check tire inflation for free. Instead of reading that little thing with numbers that used to pop up out of the air hose like it was really happy to see you, it's now all digital. They set the pump to the tire manufacturer recommended number, hook the hose to the tire and inflate it to exactly the proper pressure. As I suspected, all four of her tires were low, but they were the same amount of low so at least they were wearing evenly.

That's what Perkins, the person doing the checking said. I never did find out if Perkins was his first name or last name.

When it was over, Perkins said he was going to give me a "report card" on the tire inflation - the card you see here. Apparently, I got a passing grade, or "Green" in tire lingo.

By the way, great band Tire Lingo. Saw them at Coachella in '08 (that was for you Siegel).

Here's the thing: since Perkins gave me the card after he was done with the tires, wasn't it really more a report card about him than my tires? A little reminder to say, "Look how perfectly I filled your tires."

It wreaks of a desperate attempt at consumer engagement. Gee, I wonder where a mediocre and useless idea like a report card after the fact could've been generated from? Some mysteries we may never solve.

The tires were each under-inflated by 6 lbs. Not a huge number, but when I drove away I could definitely feel the improvement in the handling. I looked at the report card Perkins gave me, and smiled.

Maybe it'll help me get into a better school. These are the best grades I've had in a long time.