Trial run

If there's no objection, in my opening remarks I'd like to tell you about a funny thing that happened last week.

A close friend of mine who lives on the east coast got in touch with me because he was looking for a referral to a lawyer out here to handle some business for him. Then, coincidentally, I also wound up recommending another friend to a different lawyer because he was in a situation where I thought a little legal advice would help.

Now I know what you're thinking: "Why does Jeff know so many lawyers? Is he in that much trouble? Is it a Jew thing?" The answers are because, no and maybe.

Here's the deal. When push comes to shove in certain situations, the evidence has shown it's sometimes best to have a knowledgable, take-no-prisoners legal representative in your corner.

It's no secret there's a lot of negativity and jokes about lawyers. But those are usually about the ambulance chasers and bottom feeders. My attorneys, all of them, have been stellar in representing my best interests when I've needed them to. I have nothing but gratitude and appreciation for the lawyers I work with.

And they have nothing but gratitude and appreciation for my retainer fees.

Capitalism, amIright?

My wife thinks I should go to law school and become a lawyer, because I'm quick on my feet and like the idea of standing up for justice. Actually she thinks I should do it because I'm confrontational, don't suffer fools lightly and won't sign out a library book without checking with my attorney. But for argument's sake, let's go with the justice thing.

If you find yourself in need of a lawyer—and everyone does eventually—and don't have one, give me a call. I'm pretty sure I can make the introduction.

Estate lawyer? Check. Employment and business attorney? Of course. Personal injury representation? Do you have to ask? Real estate attorney? I'll land one for you. Bankruptcy lawyer? My high school best friend is one of the top ones in the city. If I ever have to read up to Chapter 11, I know who to call.

In closing, if it please the readers (snickering....readers...good one), let me conclude by saying it's always best to settle disagreements without taking the dispute to the next level. But if you absolutely have to, it's reassuring to know I'm here to help you find an advocate, advisor and counselor who'll be looking out for your best interest.

And forty percent of your settlement.

Blog adjourned.

Borders line sadness

This isn't the Borders bookstore near me. But it may as well be.

The company has filed bankruptcy, and as part of the restructuring is closing 200 of 659 stores nationwide. Including all the ones in my beachside city.

Now I'm the first to admit I'm completely old school about things like books and newspapers. And by old school, I mean I still enjoy reading them. That's the reason this makes me very sad.

I went in to my Borders today, the first day of its going out of business sale, and the line of about 150 people snaked throughout the store. The place was jammed in a way that ironically it never was when it was doing fine.

People were crashing into each other, grabbing everything they could just to save 20 to 50% off books they probably wouldn't have read if the store were not in this situation. They'll be back when the mark downs go to 50 to 75%, then 75 to 90% once inventory dwindles to nothing in the coming days.

I know many people think this is payback for them - along with Barnes & Noble - for putting so many mom and pop bookstores out of business. And it's easy to understand that sentiment. But somewhere along the way, the same public supporting that theory decided to stop supporting mom and pop, and instead shop where they'd get 20 to 40% off everyday hardcover prices. So the argument rings a bit hollow.

Besides, Costco and Target have discounted books almost from the beginning. And before Borders and Barnes & Noble there was Crown Books ("If you paid full price, you didn't buy it at Crown!"). Book discounting isn't new.

But there's a larger sadness for me, and it didn't just start with Borders closing. It started with eReaders.

I can't imagine giving up the tangible, visceral experience of holding a book in my hands while reading it. The texture of the binding, the smell of the print, the sound of the spine cracking when it's first opened. To me it's a deeper, richer and more satisfying experience than reading on a Kindle or iPad (as bitchin' as the iPad is). And since I've read books one at a time my whole life, I've never seen the need to carry a thousand of them with me wherever I go.

Even though sometimes I read the L.A. Times online, for the most part I'm also set in my ways with newspapers.

In one of my versions of heaven - not the one where Halle Berry stops pretending she doesn't know I'm alive, the other one - there's a coffee shop and the Sunday paper fresh off the presses waiting for me. I know some news has happened since the paper was delivered, but not enough to make it not worth spending time with.

If I want up to the minute, I know where to find it.

It'd be an ironic twist that as these giant bookstores begin disappearing, and people like me still want published, physical books, a resurgence of mom and pop stores suddenly start springing up to carry them.

Hopefully it won't be an either/or situation, and there'll be room for brick and mortar as well as digital bookstores to coexist.

We'll see what the next chapter holds.