Like my Luckiest Actor Alive series, my Why I Love Costco series, my What Took So Long series and my Guilty Pleasures series, this one will deal with a specific topic - things you don't need to know.
Although it's not a competition (or is it?), it'll also make coming up with a post much easier for me. Cross one new year's resolution off the list.
So, seized by the holiday spirit, I bought a five pound box of See's candy for one of the companies we do business with. And I had every intention of getting it to them before Christmas.
Then I had every intention of getting it to them before New Year's.
Then I had every intention of getting it to them the first week in January.
Then I had the discussion with my wife about whether it was too late to deliver a Christmas gift. We both agreed it was. I felt bad about not having been able to deliver a box of candy just a few blocks from my house on time, so I did the only thing I could think of.
I ripped the paper off that sucker and drown my sorrows in chocolate.
Can you blame me?
However, inside the box was this little bit of buzz-killing reading. Really? A nutritional brochure for See's candy? Because that's what people stuffing their face with the vanilla cremes want to know?
I think not.
Internally I'm sure the fine minds at See's thought they were being informative. After all, there is that pesky law about nutritional value labeling in California. But intentionally or not, what they were really being was annoying. The last thing anyone eating See's candy wants to know is:
A. What's in it (besides chocolate)
B. How many calories it has
C. Anything besides how good it is
Maybe it'd be better if they put it under the second tier of candy at the bottom of the box. That way it wouldn't matter and you wouldn't even have to pick it up and look at it. Where it is now, at the top of the box, you can't help but pick it up to get to the candy. Your eyes can't help see the words.
And that slight twinge of guilt for having seen it is unavoidable.
But guilt is something me and my people have had a lot of experience with. And I've turned getting over it quickly into somewhat of an art form.
At least until Valentine's Day when I'll be dealing with it again.
