The other Ken

This has been quite a year for a certain individual who goes by the name of Ken. I know what you're thinking: I'm going to go off on a diatribe about Barbie's perpetually rejected pal Ken. But as predictable as that would be, actually I'm not doing that. Because this post isn't about that plasic, de-genitalized, beach-loving doll.

It's about the other Ken who's had a very big year. Ken Jennings.

Now I'm not going to go into every little detail of his life and background. Besides, you already know a lot of it, and what you don't know about him you can find out here. What I will say, and I'll say it in the form of a question, is what the hell took so long to give him the job of permanent Jeopardy host?

If you've watched any of the Jeopardy episodes with him as host, it's beyond clear he is and has always been the rightful heir to the Alex Trebek lecturn. Because he holds the record for the most consecutive wins by any Jeopardy contestant, seventy-four, he simply has a personal, emotinal and, let's just put it out there, financial connection to the show that's not possible for others who auditioned to have.

Like, for example, conspiracy theorist, anti-vaxxer and perpetual raging asshole Aaron Rogers. Diet pill peddler, snake oil salesman and Oprah syncophant "Dr." Mehmet Oz. And former executive producer and new Jeopardy host for a hot minute until he was fired because "those" recordings showed up Mike Richards.

Jennings also brings a quick wit along with genuine interest and engagement with contestants during the brief, and sometimes awkward, interviews after the first commercial break. The other thing he brings to the party is that big brain of his.

I'm pretty sure the reason he so effortlessly keeps the game moving briskly is because he already knows the answers without having to look at them.

Originally Jeopardy producers decided to give Jennings co-host responsibilities, with him taking the nightly syndicated shows and Mayim Bialik doing the tournaments and prime time version.

Now I'm sure Mayim is a nice person, but it got a little tiresome hearing her remind everyone in the most condescending way—that means talking down to (SWIDT?)—at every turn that she's also a neuroscientist. I couldn't help but think of Jennifer Jason Leigh taking every opportunity in Hudsucker Proxy to say, "I'll stake my Pulitzer on it!"

Mayim's ratings were never what Jennings were/are. And neither were her reviews if the comments on Twitter (#nevercallingitX) were any indication.

She wouldn't cross the picket line at Sony during the five-month WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes, and I respect her for that. But Jennings was willing to—whispers say it's one of the decisions that got him the hosting gig full time. And while I'm an outspoken union supporter, I can't help but have forgiveness in my heart for Jennings' scab like decision to keep the games that aired first-run episodes.

In the past I've written here, and here about how I took the online test a few times and tried to get on Jeopardy. Now that Ken's the permanent host, I just may give it another go. Assuming hell froze over, if I were to actually get on the show I think it'd be fun to meet him, have a witty back and forth contestant interview, then go down in flames while one of my two competitors pummeled me with their obviously superior random knowledge (please don't let the category be Geography) and next-level buzzer skills.

That is unless the categories are SUITS, The Bear, Breaking Bad, New Jersey Bands, Sushi Rolls and Star Trek or Star Wars. Then I'd at least have a shot of making it to Final Jeopardy.

Until then, I'll just enjoy watching Ken Jennings rising to the occasion in the dream job he never dreamed he'd have.

What is "happy for him."

What is glutton for punishment

I was just trying to think of something I could do to make people say, "I.Q. over 60? Please."

And I've come up with the answer (which may be the only answer I come up with - that'll be funny in a second). I've decided to do again what I've done so unsuccessfully before. I'm taking the contestant quiz to be on Jeopardy.

As you may recall, I posted here about how well it went the last time. But I'm older and wiser now. Well, at least older and fatter. And frankly I consider myself much better versed in European Capitals, Rivers Of The World and Renaissance Artists than I was last time.

The good news is in the test, I don't have to ring in with that impossible buzzer you see contestants wrestling with on the show .

Anyway, if you need me between now and tonight, you'll find me studying up on Civil War Generals, Architecture, "R"eal Words, and the ever popular Potpourri.

And of course I'll also be working on my interesting-yet-humorous-although-not-too-humorous 30-second story for when Alex briefly interviews me after the first commercial.

Wish me what is luck.

The truth must be told

What with earthquakes, tsunamis, aftershocks, radioactive waste, wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya, the federal budget crisis, tornadoes in Iowa, Americans detained in North Korea, rising gas prices and everything else going on in the world, I couldn’t stay quiet any longer. I decided it was time to finally have my voice heard.

About American Idol.

I’ve never watched it before this season. I’d seen a little of it here and there. Enough to wonder why Paula Abdul wasn’t in a padded room, and who hurt Simon so bad as a child.

But this year I've become vested in the show big time.

I’m not going to go down the list of contestants one by one (seriously, can’t Scotty McCreery sell that deep-singin’, face-muggin’, microphone pointin’, sideways-smilin’ country crap somewhere else?), but here’s where I come out on it.

And where I think the show will as well.

In the show before the finale, it'll come down to Casey, James and Lauren. Then Lauren, who is quite talented, will be eliminated. James, with his Tourette's syndrome and high functioning autism has been my favorite right from the start. But I also wouldn’t be upset if Casey walked away the winner.

I know these are bold statements in trying times, and there's bound to be shock, controversy and debate over these choices.

But that’s a good thing. It’s what makes America great.

That and the fact probably no one will vote for Hailey.