Monday, October 31, 2016

Think inside the box

What do Jeopardy, Angry Birds, Star Wars, Sports Illustrated, Jeff Foxworthy, Mr. Rogers and the Dali Lama all have in common? Besides being mentioned in an internationally loved, critically acclaimed, extremely prestigious blog? The answer is they all have box calendars.

And they're not alone.

The other day I was killing time in Barnes & Noble while the wife and daughter were shopping in Ulta. I would've gone with them, but they don't carry the foundation or blush color I use. And besides, I think we all know I'm beautiful enough as it is. Anyway, I was shocked, shocked I tell you, to see that virtually every book title, sitcom, dog breed, video game, celebrity, magazine, website, car manufacturer and radio talk show host has a box calendar.

Apparently there's so much wisdom out in the world the holiday shopping public doesn't know about, it takes 365 days to dispense it all—one day at a time.

I imagine these bright, little squares make great stocking stuffers, not to mention secret Santa presents and gifts for people you really don't want to spend anything on, but feel like you should give them something. Whatever the reason, they take up two of the large tables at Barnes & Noble, so they must be selling just fine.

As I was perusing the vast assortment of them, the thought struck me that I'm overflowing with words of wisdom my own self, and I'm pretty sure I could stretch them out to fill up 365 days worth. So I'm going to do something I rarely do here—I'm going to make a promise to you. Because I know you'll want it, and more importantly you'll buy it, I'm going to start working on my own box calendar, and have it ready to go just in time for next year's holiday shopping season. I know, right?

And unlike my diet, unfinished screenplay, accordion lessons, sticking to a budget or my high school girlfriend, I actually intend to follow through on this promise to you dear reader(s).

First of all, it seems fairly easy to me. And if you know anything about me, you know I'm all about easy. Next, judging by the back of these box calendars that show a sample of what's inside, it looks like a lot of white space with very few words. If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you already know the less I write the better I am. In fact, the better we all are. Also, I have plenty of art director friends I can call on to design the colorful, whimsical, eye-catching box for whatever subject I decide to focus on.

Will it be a distilled rehashing of the most popular Rotation and Balance posts? A searing, snarky, advertising buzzword-a-day calendar? A skewering posting of the things account planners say day to day (you know, a comedy calendar)? It might just be daily pictures of my German Shepherd, which sounds really appealing because that means I don't have to write anything (about easy, remember?).

I guess we'll all have to wait until next year to find out.

Until then, I recommend the Keep Calm And Carry On box calendar to hold you over.

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