Squirrels love HBO

Two days ago, I get a call from my wife. Nothing unusual about that - we talk frequently. I'd probably talk to her a lot even if we weren't married, although I imagine we'd talk about different things.

I may be getting off topic here.

Anyway, as happens every once in awhile, the internet at the house had gone out. So adopting my best Apple Care/Charter Cable rep voice, I walked her through the reseting everything process that always gets it back up and running.

Well, almost always. Not this time.

Of course, the moment that the internet went down just happened to be the exact moment when she needed it to get some important work done. Joking, she said, "I guess the squirrels have been eating the cable line."

I think you see where this is going.

We called Charter, and scheduled a service call for the next day. When the guy came out, he realized that the problem wasn't in the house, but on the line coming into the house.

Come to find out three other houses on the block lost cable service. The reason? Squirrels eating the cable lines.

Apparently squirrels chomping on basic cable is a common problem that just took a while for us to experience. I know from my German Shepherd going crazy and barking out the window that the squirrels use the power and cable lines in the neighborhood for their personal freeway to get around.

I just didn't know they also used them for dinner.

Anyway, they - the cable company, not the squirrels - had one of the main streets blocked off for about four hours while they replaced the damaged cable and got everybody their Daily Show and Food Channel again.

There's a joke here somewhere about how nuts it is that squirrels would eat cable. It's right there in front of me, but I'm not going for it.

Guess I'm not that cheeky.

Halloween with the girls

I think Halloween is the most fun holiday of all. Not just because you get to dress up in any manner your heart desires. Or because you send perfectly innocent children to complete strangers' doors hoping candy is all they come back with.

I think it's fun because everyone's your friend on Halloween.

Years ago, the wife and I were in New York visiting my good friend Lisa Mehling. It was Halloween, and after dinner we found ourselves in the West Village on Christopher Street, the center point of the early gay movement in New York.

And if there's one thing we know about the gays - they do Halloween up right.

While we were walking around, I saw these three colorful characters walking up the street, laughing up a storm. I handed Lisa the camera and asked her to get a picture of me with them. I then turned to the three of them and said, "Hey girls, can I get a picture with you?" To which they replied, "Sure honey, get over here!"

I think my wife and Lisa were a little shocked by the fact that I even wanted the picture. But if you know anything about me, I'm ready for the party and I don't care who's throwing it.

So here's the picture of me with the girls on Halloween.

If it proves anything, I think it's that I clearly need to add more color to my wardrobe.