BMW drivers can breathe easy

BMW drivers, the time has come.

You can finally unclench your leather-gloved fists, exhale that long-held sigh of relief, and maybe, just maybe, start using your turn signals. Why? Because Tesla drivers have officially stolen your crown as the most insufferable, self-entitled assholes on the road.

Congratulations Tesla drivers on achieving the impossible: making BMW drivers look humble by comparison.

If you’ve been on the road lately, you’ve probably noticed Teslas zipping around, silently judging your gas-powered existence from inside their tech-on-wheels spaceships.

Their inner vibe screams, “I’m saving the planet!” Their outer vibe screams “Look at me, I’m an asshole!”

Apparently all the people leasing or that have shelled out money for their Tesla are blissfully ignorant about how famously unreliable they are. From Model 3s randomly deciding to burst into flames (bonus: free fireworks!) to battery replacements that cost more than the GDP of a small country, Teslas are basically expensive, rolling dice with a touch screen.

It would be a dereliction of duty to write about Tesla and not talk about the Cybertruck. How ugly is it? It’s so ugly, the Plymouth Aztec sent Tesla a thank-you note for taking the heat off.

Apparently Musk took one look at every basic principle of car design and said, “Nah.”.

And yet, people are actually buying this thing. Why? Because it’s the automotive equivalent of wearing a t-shirt that says, “Ask me about my bad decisions.” Nothing screams “I have too much disposable income and zero taste” quite like rolling up to a coffee shop in a truck that could be outmaneuvered by a shopping cart.

Of course let’s not forget the man behind the curtain (WICKED reference-see yesterday’s post).

When you buy a Tesla, you’re not just getting a car that might glitch and send you hurtling into a guardrail, you’re also funding Elon Musk’s endless parade of bad takes and worse ideas. Want to support someone who uses Twitter as a platform for dabbling in casual racism, misogyny, and vague threats against democracy? Then Tesla is the brand for you.

So, BMW drivers, take that deep breath. Sure, people might still assume you’re a jerk when they see you coming, but at least now you can point and say, “Hey, I cut you off, but at least I’m not driving that.”

Tesla drivers, welcome to the top of the jerk food chain.

Your cars may be quiet, but your egos? Deafening.

Wicked fun

Ladies and gentlemen, start your brooms.

WICKED is the kind of movie musical that sweeps you off your feet—or rather plants them right on the Yellow Brick Road—and leads you straight into the heart of the magical Land of Oz. And it does it with a generous helping of sass, style, and heart.

Buckle up. I’m going to use some reviewer adjectives here: WICKED is dazzling, emotional, funny, and unforgettable.

Let me start with Ariana Grande. I honestly don’t know much of her music, but when I have heard her sing I’m in awe. The girl has pipes. She also has, going by her talk show and Saturday Night live appearances, quite the gift for impressions and comedy.

Her impeccable timing and effortless charm legitimately light up the screen, and her high notes could shatter a few chandeliers in the Emerald City.

And then there’s Cynthia Erivo, who simply owns every second of her screen time as Elphaba. Whether she’s belting out a heart-wrenching tune, or quietly delivering a look that breaks your heart, she reminds us once again she’s more than a triple threat—she’s an every threat. Erivo’s raw emotion and powerhouse vocals make her portrayal of the misunderstood green girl an absolute triumph. And her chemistry with Grande is pure magic.

Now, let’s talk about one of my favorite actors, Jeff Goldblum as the Wizard. The casting is perfect. I mean, was there ever a doubt? His quirky charisma and sly humor bring an edge to the character, and he somehow manages to make a singing, spell-slinging con artist one of the most memorable parts of the movie.

The production itself is jaw-dropping. The visuals are vibrant and imaginative. The costume design, set pieces and sweeping shots of Oz are a treat.

Then of course, there’s the music. I’m the kind of sap that cries at Hallmark card commercials (Note to self: Christmas is coming, stock up on the Kleenex), so by the time the signature song Defying Gravity soars into its breathtaking finale, I was a sniffling, teary-eyed puddle. Easily one of the best movie musical numbers ever put to film.

Speaking of tears, this movie has all the feels. While hilarious and whimsical, it also digs deep into themes of acceptance, friendship and the courage to be yourself. It's also a little bit terrifying. The origin story of the flying monkeys—yes, they have one—is scary and not for the squeamish. These are definitely not your father's flying monkeys

I wasn’t expecting WICKED to be so emotional, but there I was sobbing into my artificially butter-flavored popcorn.

WICKED is a film that’s as enchanting as it is heartfelt. An absolute must-see for anyone with a soul. Grab your friends, your family and your broom and head for the theater.

And be ready to laugh, cry, gasp and cheer while this thoroughly entertaining film casts its spell on you.

I can't wait for the movie

So it’s a book review. I don’t do them often, but sometimes—like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction—a book comes along that simply will not be ignored.

Like most ads, this book review comes with a disclaimer. I’ve been friends with the author for somewhere in the neighborhood of thirty years, and I may have had a hand in editing this book.

And by the way, it’s a finely edited book.

The book I’m talking about is Stones & Sticks by Cameron Day. It’s the thrilling conclusion to the advertising trilogy, along with Chew With Your Mind Open and Spittin' Chiclets, that we didn’t know we needed but now can’t live without.

In Stones & Sticks, Cameron, who has clearly earned every gray hair on his LinkedIn profile, delivers a masterclass on what it’s like to sit atop the creative food chain.

Spoiler alert: it’s not all cappuccinos and Cannes Lions.

This isn’t just a book—it’s a survival guide for anyone who’s made it to the big chair with “Creative” in the title, and discovered that it comes with less creating and more fending off crises.

From managing tantrum-prone copywriters and art directors to explaining why your budget really needs those extra drone shots, Cameron walks us through his journey in the high-stakes chaos of wielding ultimate responsibility with wit, wisdom, and just the right amount of jaded sarcasm.

Added bonus—if you’re looking for a fun drinking game, take a shot every time he drops an f-bomb.

The writing is sharp, as if every sentence were honed during a midnight brainstorm fueled by stale donuts and cold pizza, two items that are somehow always available at agencies. Yet beneath the humor lies a treasure trove of practical advice only someone who’s been through the advertising wars with a view from the top could offer. The anecdotes about managing clients who think “just make it pop” is a strategy will leave you laughing and crying—sometimes simultaneously.

What makes Stones & Sticks truly stand out is its brutal honesty. Cameron doesn’t shy away from the burnout, the compromises, or the sheer number of acronyms you’ll pretend to understand during boardroom presentations.

But it also reminds us why we fell in love with advertising in the first place: the thrill of turning a half-baked idea into something iconic.

By the time you close the book, which if you’re like me you’ll wind up doing in one reading, you’ll feel both inspired and slightly terrified—a perfect encapsulation of what it means to be a Creative Director or Executive CD.

Whether you’re an intern dreaming of greatness, or a grizzled vet wondering if it’s too late to start a llama farm, this is the book you need.

If it were a campaign, it’d win gold at the One Show. And the client might even approve the first draft.

Leaving Las Vegas

You can’t go back.

Last week I found myself at a Global Marketing Summit for the cybersecurity company I work for. It was four glorious days and three nights of seminars, eating, lectures, eating, planning, eating, socializing with colleagues, and, say it with me, eating.

There also happened to be craps and blackjack involved, because the summit was held in this little desert rat-trap town that Bugsy Siegel started, Meyer Lansky financed, the Rat Pack sang in and Moe Green—who doesn’t have so much as a plaque—died in: Las Vegas.

As some of my loyal readers will recall (trying to stop laughing at the thought I have “loyal readers”), I’ve written here in the past about how much I used to love Vegas. “Used to” being the operative phrase.

For a lot of years, I’d go four and five times a year to visit the money I’d left behind and see how the Jeff wing of the Venetian was coming along. There was nothing like the adrenaline rush and excitement I used to feel once I landed and was on the way to my hotel. This time, my first Vegas trip in about eight years, that rush was replaced by sadness.

The Vegas strip still photographs well, but if you look closer you see the town, with its out of control development, sad faux showgirls hawking pictures of themselves with you, the mix of well-to-do visitors sidestepping the homeless, and the general low-rent traveling carnival vibe have made it all a lot less glamourous than the brochure.

It was a far cry from the town where I played $5 and $10 minimums at the tables, saw Tony Bennett at the Flamingo, Sigfried & Roy (before) at the Mirage, Danny Gans (RIP) at Caesar’s, Penn & Teller at the Rio, Jerry Seinfeld at the Thomas & Mack Center, Bruce Springsteen (I know, I’m as surprised as you are) at the MGM Grand Garden, and Cirque du Soleil everywhere.

This trip, with the exception of one outing, I was pretty much sequestered at my summit in the dark, unwelcoming, chemical fragrance infused Cosmopolitan Hotel & Casino. My room was on the 49th floor, which made me a little jittery. But then I realized there were still twelve floors above me, so in my head I was on a lower floor.

Having said all that, Vegas is still a town you should see once if you’ve never been.

But I think I’m good for another eight years. Unless they lower the table minimums.

Hey sport

In case you didn’t know, I’m not a sports guy. Never have been. I know what you’re thinking: “But Jeff, you have such a ripped, awesome physique I would’ve thought you’d been playing sports all your life.”

First of all, thank you for noticing. And second, no.

But for some reason, once a year, during the World Series, I become an armchair fan. Especially when it’s the Dodgers v. Yankees.

Suddenly, I’m an expert on when and when not to take a swing. Miraculously I can call the pitches better than the umpires. I’m even starting to be fluent in the players’ names.

Then again, “Mookie” is kind of hard to forget.

I don’t go as far as wearing the team jersey, but I do yell at the tv from the comfort of my reading chair.

The cruel tease of my career (laughing for using the word “career”) is that at every agency I ever worked at without exception, I was always the copywriter who got assigned the sports tie-ins for clients. It's safe to say the most research I ever did for anything was going to the glossary for whatever sport I was writing about so I could speak in the language of the realm.

I do however love movies about baseball. Major League, A League of Their Own, The Natural, Moneyball, Bull Durham, The Rookie and, of course, Field Of Dreams.

For seven games a year, if the series goes that long, I’m all in.

When it comes to this post, it's the bottom of the ninth, two outs, bases loaded. So instead of some snappy line or bad joke about covering the bases, I’ll leave you with my favorite speech ever about the sport, courtesy of the late, great James Earl Jones.

Now if I could just get the wife to bring me a Dodger dog.

It comes for us all

As my friend and colleague Grace says, it comes for us all.

I was starting to feel invincible. And why not? I’m vaxxed to the max, with the exception of the very latest update. I’ve gone through four years and God knows how many variants of covid without getting it. I was beginning to think maybe I was one of those rare humans whose immune system just took it out before I even knew it was there. When I’ve been informed by friends who came down with it that I was unintentionally exposed, it never laid a glove on me.

It comes for us all.

Last week I was in Sunnyvale on business. Felt great the whole time I was there. When I flew back Thursday I was a little fatigued, but chalked it up to not sleeping well in hotel rooms. I tested Thursday afternoon, then again Friday morning. Both negative.

But Friday was a really bad day. I felt like Wile E. Coyote after the anvil hit him in the head. Saturday morning’s test, as you can see, was positive.

It comes for us all.

I forgot to mention that the wife has it right now as well. She thought she had a slight cold when I left for my trip, and during the trip tested positive. So maybe I picked it up from her and it was incubating while I was away.

Marriage, amIrite?

I can’t take Paxlovid because it conflicts in a big way with another med I’m on. So I’m taking Lagevrio, another anti-viral that doesn’t have the bad interaction, but is about fifty-percent less effective. I’ll take it. Something’s better than nothing.

Doctors tell me I still have to isolate from my wife because she may have a different strain, and her viral load may be higher.

By the way, Viral Load. Great band. Saw them at the Troubadour in ’98. (You’re welcome Rich).

Alright, going back to my daughter’s old bedroom where I’ve been isolating, and going to finish watching Season 3 of The Bear. Again.

Should you catch it, and I genuinely hope you don’t, just lay low. Fluids and rest, fluids and rest, fluids and rest. Also Robitussen and Advil. And don’t feel bad about it.

It comes for us all.

Goodbye Jeff

I am devastated and heartbroken. My friend and advertising icon Jeff Weakley passed away suddenly this weekend.

I don’t remember exactly where Jeff and I met, but it was over thirty years ago. We were both longtime freelance copywriters, and our paths crossed at many, many agencies during those years.

When I met him, my first thought was, “How does he get away wearing shorts and a t-shirt to a freelance gig?” I was always more conservative in my attire – at least at the beginning. If you’ve seen me in the last twenty years you know caring about what I wear to work was just a phase. And now that I work remote, it's not even a notion.

Jeff was an outstanding writer, and an even more outstanding human being. It was always the best surprise running into him at work, hearing his insights, and being on the receiving end of his wicked sharp wit.

Not to mention seeing the example he set, and trying to live up to it, for being the world’s best girl-dad.

Jeff also put the word “raconteur” into my vocabulary rotation. His earlier website and freelance biz was named Raconteur Advertising. The nav bar on the site was Jokes. Poems. Propaganda.

There wasn’t anything he couldn’t put his own personal, interesting spin on.

Jeff also wrote me the loveliest recommendation on LinkedIN. If you’re so inclined you can see it on my profile from Les Guessing, Jeff’s alter ego.

He was also one of those guys in advertising virtually everyone knew, and had more than a good word to say about.

Jeff was only sixty-four years old. He was just getting warmed up.

I'll miss hanging, laughing and working with him. And I can’t help thinking how much better this post would’ve been if he’d written it.

God bless you Jeff. Thank you for having me in your circle and making my life richer. Rest in peace.