‘Twas the night before Christmas in the agency halls Not a planner was stirring, there were no client calls The glasses were hung by the conference room with care In hopes the Christmas party would soon begin there
Creative directors nestled with campaigns that were dead While visions of One Show Awards danced in their head They’d talk of production and work they had done It was true this year’s party would be nothing but fun
When out in the lobby there rose such a clatter I sprang from the status meeting to see what was the matter Was it the new intern wearing an Urban Outfitters jacket What could possibly be making all of that racket
With a little old driver, so lively and quick I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick More rapid than eagles his coursers they came And he whistled and shouted and called them by name
Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen! Let’s go in the kitchen and see what they’re fixen! To the corner office and just down the hall They found trays of hors de oeuvres and ate them all!
The staff would look forward to the holiday bonus Saying "as hard as we’ve worked of course they would owe us" The general manager spoke, it was quite a summit He told us all how profits had started to plummet
Cutbacks, downsizing, raise-freezes, client losses He would if he could, but not so the bosses He charted the bonus with marker not chalk He wrote on the white board “That’s just crazy talk.”
They showed the work that’d been done all through the year But with no bonuses the staff was not of good cheer Sure there was music and dancing for those who were able Even some shenanigans on the conference room table
Soon it was over, soon it was gone All the carrying they’d planned had been carried on The party was finished, the tinsel unhung The songs they were singing had all been sung
After bad luck like this, what else could they add It was Christmas, and really, things weren’t that bad Until he exclaimed as his limo drove out of sight Happy pink slip to all, and to all a good night!
