Beverly Hillbilly

That high-pitched whining sound you hear is coming from the direction of Hollywood is Billy Ray Cyrus.

Seems he’s finally been able to pinpoint the reason his marriage is in shambles and his family life has imploded.

And that reason? Hannah Montana. That darned show. Gosh, Billy just wishes he’d never let Miley do it.

If it weren’t for that Disney show that ran for years, Miley wouldn’t be as reckless and uncontrollable as she’s become.

If only he could go back in time to before the show ever happened he would. Back to being a washed up singer. Back to having the most reviled song in country music history.

Here’s the thing: going back wouldn’t help. He didn’t do anything when he was there the first time.

Billy Ray knows what it’s like to have an insane amount of success at an early age (did I mention the most reviled song ever?). So when Disney wanted to cast Miley in a show, as someone who’d been in the spotlight – and as her father – he knew what was in store for her.

Now, I’ll concede he probably didn’t anticipate exactly how huge the show and his daughter would become. You never can. But they were entering into the Disney marketing machine. He had to know they’re all in when it comes to promoting shows and spinning out stars.

Hey, Billy Ray, news flash: it isn’t the shows fault. Or Disney’s. Or Miley’s. It’s yours.

By your own admission, you acted like more of a friend to Miley than a father. I imagine that you imagine by making that statement, you think we’re supposed to feel sorry for you. That somehow, in your negligent, lacking, selfish child-raising ways, it just happened.

Since you obviously haven’t read the manual, one of the things a parent is supposed to do is protect their children by setting boundaries. Something they’re not supposed to do is treat their kid like their best friend, then use them as an ATM so they can buy mansions, cars, pre-torn faded blue jeans, tatoos and anything else they want. It’s hard enough to ground Hollywood kids in a world where grown ups say yes to everything they want to do and have.

It’s also mighty convenient, after the series has ended, you’re not on a hit show anymore and you’ve cashed all the checks to start talking about the toll it takes being a multi-millionaire country boy and having a multi-multi-millionaire daughter/wild child.

Miley is over 18 now, so we can only hope she makes smart(er) decisions in the future, and listens to guidance from people who have been where she is and know the pitfalls.

At least she's already learned one valuable lesson.

She knows where not to turn for advice.