Saturday, June 11, 2011

One and only

I'm an only child. And I'm okay with that.

Sure, I don't really understand the whole sharing thing. Or not having my way when I want it. But for the most part it hasn't held me back.

Naturally there's been one or two times in my life where it would've been nice to have a sibling. For example when my parents died. As you'd expect, an extremely tough time. It would've been nice to have somebody who knew exactly what I was going through because they were going through it too. Another tough time: when Springsteen tickets go on sale. A brother or sister would double my chances of getting the good seats.

When I tell people I'm an only child, I usually get one of two reactions. They'll say, "Oh you're so lucky." Or they'll give me a sad, sympathetic look and say, "Oh that's a shame."

It's not a shame. For the most part, it's awesome.

I have lots of friends with siblings. Some of them get along, some don't. Many of them have found a way to negotiate a truce because they have family obligations and joint decisions that have to get made, none of which happens if they're fighting like cats and dogs all the time. But it always seems like an uneasy truce.

I also have people I don't get along with. The difference is when I don't get along, I can get away. I don't worry about having to see them at home, or running into them at family events or holiday dinners.

Also, I think because I'm an only child my friendships take on even more importance in my life. Well, some of them anyway (you know who you are). I tend to invest time and energy to nourish and grow them, and find myself getting more than just a little out of sorts when that investment isn't returned in kind (you know who you are).

Anyway, I'm not making an argument for being an only child. I'm just saying there are worse things that could happen in the world.

That would be the world that revolves around me.

2 comments:

annie said...

My brother and I are polar opposites. I will probably be the one making decisions when our only parent left dies. Siblings are overrated.
Cooper, our 8 year old, is an only child - and will only ever be. People have actually told me how unfair that is to do to him. "He needs a little brother or sister." I say, he needs parents that can afford to send him to a good private school and go on vacation and give him undivided parenting. Discipline and reward. Oh, and a sane mother.
All of the only children I've met as adults are independent, smart and gracious people. Nothing wrong with them - including you Jeff.
It's the same grief you get from the breast-feeding-only fanatics of the world. "Oh, that poor child."
How dare I spend an entire Saturday devoted entirely to playing with my one kid. So, yes, worse things in the world could happen.

Melissa Maris said...

All I'll say is it's good you're not a twin. The world couldn't handle that much cool in it.