Hostile takeover

So there you are, casually surfing the web trying to kill time, or worse yet, actually find out something. You innocently move your cursor a micrometer on the screen over an ad, and suddenly it takes over your whole page and there's nothing you can do about it.

It's a whole new level of frustration for the internet age. Without any warning, you're an iHostage.

Of course there is a close box, if you can find it. They don't make it easy.

I guess in the interest of full disclosure I have to say I've created a few page takeovers in my time. I'm not proud of it, but you know my motto by now - say it with me: the check clears.

Still, here's the dirty secret for clients who drink the Kool Aid about advertising on the web: no one is clicking your banner ads. No one. Not your friends, not your family and certainly not anyone at your agency. Forget the "metrics" and "click through rates." Totally made up. Pure fiction, like Potter, Narnia or legitimate Republican presidential candidates.

Don't believe me? How many web ads have you clicked on in the last week? Month? Six months? Thought so.

You know what nothing from nothing is? That's how many people are clicking your web ad.

Don't misunderstand me. Are they fun to do? You bet. Can they be creative? Absolutely. Creating them a nice revenue stream for the agency? Of course. People worldwide clicking on them? Not a chance.

Pissing people off by forcing a web page takeover on them doesn't just make them uninterested in your ad, it makes them angry at your brand.

At the next status meeting, ask the agency about metrics for that.