It's not that I'm an unfriendly person. I think if you asked anyone who knows me, right after they stopped laughing they'd tell you I'm actually pretty much of a social butterfly.
But really, this trend of having greeters at every business has to stop.
Of course Walmart is where it all started. It was originally hailed as a great idea, letting retirees earn some money and interact with the public by giving them smiles, handshakes and fist-bumps.
Plus, what with the blue vest, it gave eighty-year olds yet another fashion option.
But like weeds, now greeters are popping up all over. The place that it irritates me the most is at my bank, Wells Fargo.
Already known as a bastion of friendliness and personal attention (cough, cough), now I can't even run into the bank without being stopped in my tracks with "Welcome to Wells Fargo" and "How's your day going?" and other assorted small talk.
Here's the thing: when I run into the bank, I want to run into the bank and run back out again. What I don't want is to be intercepted by a teller walking the floor, who should be behind the counter making that winding line move faster.
As if that isn't annoying enough, now the tellers are suddenly all chatty and small talk. "Is it nice outside today?" Really? Here's an idea: look out the fuckin' window while you're taking my deposit. "Busy day for ya?" If it is, standing here talking to you isn't going to help is it.
I appreciate that they're trying to humanize the experience and promote a friendly image. But the needs of the customer have to come first, and no one's in there to make friends.
So stop talking to me, do your job, and get me out of there as fast as you can.
And have a nice day.
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