Feel like an idiot for $100 Alex

Because I don't have enough things to make me feel stupid during the course of a day, I decided to take the test to become a Jeopardy contestant.

I'll wait a minute while you stop laughing. Done? Okay.

I've watched the show forever and always thought it'd be fun to be on. In fact I already have a funny anecdote about how I met Groucho Marx (oh yes I did) ready for when Alex conducts the awkward contestant interview with me after the first commercial break.

Since I seem to do well questioning the answers when I'm watching from the comfort of my couch, I thought there was a chance I'd do just as well if I were actually on the show.

Self-delusion and denial are two of my better honed qualities.

Of course if the categories were Godfather Movies, Springsteen, Pizza, Audi, German Sheperds and Bad Parenting, I'd have it aced.

To apply you take an online test of fifty questions made up from episodes that have already aired. You have fifteen seconds to answer each one, which isn't nearly enough time for internet cheating. Or so I hear.

Once you complete the test, you never get the results. In fact you never hear from them again unless they want you to be a contestant.

Watch for my Jeopardy appearance on this date.

What is the 12th of never.