Winging it

Like so many things, I just don't get it.

I've never liked chicken wings. Ever. From the wrinkled, bumpy skin that looks like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly, to the search and rescue party you have to send out to find any meat on the bone, there's absolutely nothing appetizing about them.

So I'm at a total loss to understand the seemingly endless proliferation of wing places popping up all over.

For starters, they seem like a food from a time when people were a lot smaller and had tiny little hands. Watching people eat them always reminds me of the scene in Big where Tom Hanks is eating the appetizer he thinks is a little corn cob.

Next, why all the different flavorings? BBQ. Cajon. Ranch. Asian. If these things didn't taste like dry little leftover chicken parts to start with you wouldn't have to smother them with sauce just to make them taste like something.

Obviously I must be in the minority because these restaurants are being built faster than mirrored buildings in Orange County.

And exactly at what point was the decision made that celery would be the perfect accompaniment to chicken wings? Maybe after a few too many Bloody Mary's the chef said, "Well, if celery works in a glass, maybe it'll work with chicken wings."

There's no accounting for taste, especially when it comes to these places. But to each their own.

At least I can still enjoy a real meal at the Frog and Peach.

Bringing it

There's something to be said for asking for the order. For example, when Michael Pollock, an accomplished pianist went to a Billy Joel Q&A on his college campus, he had a question for the piano man.

He wanted to know if he could accompany him on New York State Of Mind. And Billy said yes. Then, as you can see in the video, he went on to win over not just Joel, but the audience as well. The reason? Because he brought it. He saw his moment, and he carpéd it.

It's always bonus points if you can bring it when these once-in-a-lifetime situations present themselves. But, even if you can't, more often than not the audience is with you just for having the moxie to take the shot.

Sarah Horn is another person who brought it. When the person in front of her didn't know the words to the hit Broadway show tune For Good from Wicked, Sarah screamed out that she did and she was chosen. The fact she's a vocal coach probably has something to do with how much she loves musical theater. And how great she is.

Part of the fun of this video is watching how she knocks it out of the park, and the other part is seeing how blown away Kristin Chenoweth is by her talent.

Sometimes bringing it doesn't mean the voice. Sometimes it means the cute.

At shows where Bruce sings Waitin' On A Sunny Day, he almost always pulls a kid out of the audience to sing with him. And it almost always goes like this.

She gets to sing with a rock star. Twenty-thousand people cheer her on. She has a memory to last a lifetime. And she can watch it on YouTube whenever she wants.

My moment of greatness was within my grasp in Springsteen's Tougher Than The Rest video (don't blink or you'll miss it). You'll notice at the 3:29 mark, in the very lower right corner, second row, there's a guy with glasses wearing a black t-shirt with white lettering, fist-pumping to the music.

It's easy to recognize it's me, because I look pretty much the same as I do now - young, full beard, black hair and thin. What can I say? I have good genes.

Yes, it's me. Yes I was there. Yes I knew every song on the set list that night. Yes I was definitely ready to bring it.

Problem was nobody wanted it.

Remembering George

I just got back from a memorial service for my great friend George Roux, who died a little over a week ago. Having known George for almost thirty years, I have a lot of history and stories to tell.

Now sometimes at services like these, they open it up and ask whoever would like to say a few words about the dearly departed to come up to the podium. And there have been times when I've wanted to say something, but truthfully I'm not at my best off the cuff with emotions spilling over, and loud sobbing as background noise.

Plus, being a writer, I like to map out what I'm going to say.

So when I heard about George, my Boy Scout instincts about being prepared kicked into merit-badge readiness. I wrote down what I wanted to say, rehearsed it and was ready for the call.

Come to find out, the call never came. George's service was beautifully planned by his wife Julie, was beyond lovely and went off like clockwork - something you can't do if you just invite people to speak willy-nilly.

Anyway, had I gotten the call, this is what I would've said:

I think the thing that surprised me most is that George’s heart failed him. Surprising because it never failed any of us.

George and I met almost 30 years ago. Being in advertising, of course I’d heard of him, how talented he was, the classes he taught at Art Center and Ad Center. For a while there it seemed like you couldn’t throw a rock without hitting someone who was mentored by George.

George and I were first partnered as a team when we worked at Tracy Locke. And let me say, work was never easier or more fun. Great ideas flowed out of George fast and furious. Besides being an incredibly talented art director, George was a great writer.

And trust me, copywriters don’t love anything more than an art director who knows how to write.

Maybe it wasn’t so much that we worked together, but that I got to watch him work. I would’ve paid for the privilege.

George and I became great and lasting friends. We were also co-conspirators. At Tracy Locke, we came up with a plan to pitch the Yamaha Electronics business by personally delivering the VP of Marketing an invitation to come to the agency. It was during the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. So we made a poster with a headline that read, “We came to your party. Now you're invited to ours.” We went to the show, found him, talked for a few minutes and gave him the poster, which he loved.

He never came to the agency, but George and I had three awesome days in Vegas.

I’m not saying that was the plan all along, But I'm not saying it wasn’t.

George and I also shared an appreciation for crappy horror films. Every time another one came out, we’d sit through it, then come out of the theater saying the same thing: “There’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back.” But we kept going, I think not so much for the films but to spend the time with each other.

George has been there for me at almost every pivotal point in my life. My dad’s death. Break ups, break downs. He was one of the groomsmen at my wedding, as well as self-appointed videographer, lending his incredible eye and talent to turning a wedding video into art. If only the DMV had known about him.

He was the first person I called when my son was born. At every juncture, George was there, offering his experience, insight, jokes, strength and friendship for me to lean on.

We freelanced as a team at several agencies over the years. I remember one conversation with him where I told him how jealous I was because he could do so many things so well: he was an art director, commercial director, illustrator, photographer. He had options. All I could do was write.

He looked at me and said, "That may be true, but nobody writes like you do."

I think he meant it as a compliment.

When George met Julie, he fell and fell hard. And while I’d seen him in relationships before, it was clear he’d just been biding his time. This was the one he’d been waiting for. Julie brought a joy to George’s life all of us who loved him will be forever grateful for.

We used to spend a lot of time together, but as often happens, life overtakes intentions and in the past few years we haven’t seen each other nearly often enough. The last time I talked to George was on his birthday in July. We had a long conversation, checking in with each other and catching up on our lives and families.

I called him on his birthday, he called me on mine. So while the call this year may be long distance, I’m pretty sure one way or another I’ll hear from him. I know he’ll hear from me.

It’s hard to get almost 30 years of a friendship into a few minutes, or to find exactly the right words to tell you about all the experiences George and I had.

It’d be a lot easier if he were here. Not only would he tell the stories better, he’d have pictures to go with them.

When Julie told me the news, we talked about George and how one reason this is so shocking is that he seemed indestructible. He’d been through a bad car accident, by-pass surgery, a home invasion robbery. All of them were like bullets off Superman. Julie also said she knew he’d had an entire life before he met her, and that she knew what she’d signed up for when she married him.

But Julie, I’m here to tell you, he also had an entire life after he met you. A complete life. The one he wanted. The one he was looking for. The one that counted. The one he found with you.

I’d also like to say something to Rachel and George. Your father was an exceptional man, and he loved you both beyond measure. I’m sure you know that. I’m also sure he’d want you to know this: life will be challenging sometimes. It’ll make you angry. It’ll make you weary. There’ll be times you’ll stumble and fall. But in those times, when you don’t know if you can get up or go on, remember, in your hearts, your dad will forever be smiling down, sending his love and cheering you on.

Let me wrap it up by saying words I’d have much preferred to say to him in person.

George, thank you for your kindness, your friendship, your brilliance, your humor, your heart, your decency, your encouragement, your work, your talent, your downright brutal good looks, and your love.

I’ll miss you friend. Before you know it. Love you George.

Pretty woman. OK handwriting.

Here's how it happened.

There was a point in time, when I was younger and she was younger, that I had a little crush on Julia Roberts. This of course was during the Mystic Pizza, Pretty Woman, Steel Magnolias and Sleeping With The Enemy era. It was kind of rekindled during the Notting Hill days, but one too many close-ups and articles about her bitching out her Malibu neighbors and I was done.

Anyway, during the early days, my friend, best man and a fine actor in his own right Scott Thomson was working on The Player with her. He found himself at the craft services table, and, knowing how much I liked her at the time, said "I know this is very uncool. But a friend of mine's a big fan of yours and he's home with the flu. I was wondering if there's any way you could give him an autograph?"

I felt fine.

To almost everyone's surprise, she did - the one you see here. The Player was twenty-one years ago, and I didn't even know I still had this. I just found it cleaning out a drawer.

But it does make me smile, and reminds me of a time when a movie star caught my attention and kept it onscreen and off. Color me old-fashioned, but I'm just a little starstruck and romantic that way.

I wonder what I can get for it on eBay.

Maids' day off

The living room is a little out of control. So is the bedroom, the hallway and the garage.

It's not for lack of good intentions, and it's no one's fault. It's just that there's life in progress. In fact, there are four of them in progress. And sometimes, in the ebb and flow of volleyball games, client meetings, board meetings, jazz concerts, getting some writing done and walking the dog, cleaning up a bit as you go gets bounced to the bottom of the To Do list.

Of course, like everyone, we do have a threshold. We measure it with those sticks they use in the south every time a river overflows its banks. When it gets to three feet, we stop every thing and clear the battlefield.

Like some people, we have a housekeeper that helps us stay on top of it. Well, she tries. Honestly, she's not very good. On days she's here, we come home to dirty dishes in the sink, unfolded laundry on the couch and cleaning rags on the washer as opposed to in it. Instead of cleaning for the maid, we have to clean after the maid.

Suffice it to say she's not here for the long haul.

I recognize it's a first-world problem, and that families all over the world are struggling with far more serious and pressing issues than a clean house. I see stories about it all the time on the TV.

That is, I would. If I could see the TV.

R.I.P. Lou Reed 1942 - 2013

Breaking news

The radio said breaking news.
The announcer called it another tragedy.
Parents were told to stay clear of the area.
As if that was possible.

Ambulances on both sides of the freeway.
No traffic mid-day, yet not moving at all.
Chaos and yelling.
All those red lights.

The playground is closed.
Yellow tape makes that clear.
I see other kids running.
I see bodies under blankets.

Did he wear those shoes this morning?
Shit, they all wear those shoes.

Some teachers have taught another lesson.
About the unpredictably of life.
The meaning of sacrifice.

Gurney wheels rattling. Children screaming and crying.
They can't get to sleep. They can't stay awake.
Just like when they were babies.
Remember life before them? Of course not.

Others have been through it.
Forced smiles, empty eyes and broken hearts
Say you learn to live with it.

The truth is life will go on.
The real truth is it won't.