Job Security

The ad agency I'm freelancing at, like every ad agency, has lots of nice, shiny things lying all around the office.

Laptops. Monitors. DVD players. Speakers. Headphones. iPads. iPods. Cameras. Things like that. Tools of the trade.

There are also the things people who work there bring in and leave in plain sight.

Family pictures in pricey frames. Open, wide open, purses casually tossed on to a desk or the floor. Giant backpacks, filled with all kinds of confidential information and personal I.D. in virtually every one of the 67 zippered pockets.

All things thieves looking for a quick, easy score are drawn to.

There are security cameras throughout the agency. Everywhere you look, they're looking back. It's like being at Macy's. Or the casino at the Bellagio.

The eyes in the sky are supposed to provide a sense of security. After all, they're for our protection. But no matter how hard I try, I can't shake the feeling there's something a little more sinister at play.

For example, the camera outside the bathrooms. Really? Even though people going in say they're going to take something, usually what they do is leave something. I wonder exactly what the company thinks is going to get stolen out of the men's room.

Or the one hiding in the corner of the tiny kitchen that's aimed at the cabinets. Just try and make off with those decaf packets that don't work on any other machine. In. The. World.

I'm usually extremely slow to jump on the conspiracy theory bandwagon. But here's what I think: the cameras are there to keep tabs on us.

Being placed where they are, whoever is monitoring them can see how much time we spend in the bathroom. Or the coffee room. (I suppose if you spent less time in one you'd spend less time in the other).

It's not as if we're in an office you can easily stroll through. You need a roadmap and an experienced tracker to find the front door and elevator. Once you're there, you have to have a key card to ride up the elevator and get in and out of the office. And the stairwells. And the parking lot. Our office is spread across three buildings. You can't get from one to the other without the card.

And while nothing's impossible, it's just not an easy place for someone to get into unnoticed and stroll through stealing things.

The cameras are an additional layer of security, but the layering is suspiciously thick. There are more cameras than there are points of entry.

There's something murkier at play here.

Don't get me wrong. If my laptop ever goes missing, I'd definitely feel better knowing there's a chance they got a picture of whoever took it.

And if the thief has to pee before he leaves, he's really screwed.