That's what happened to me today when I read about Wes Leonard.
Wes was a 16-year old high school student and star athlete at Fennville High in Michigan. He'd just scored the winning basket at a championship game, putting his team - the Fennville Blackhawks - at an undefeated 20 - 0 for the season.
Seconds after the winning shot and the ensuing celebration, the crowd watched in horror as Wes collapsed on the court and died. He'd gone into cardiac arrest from an enlarged heart, had a massive heart attack and was likely gone before he hit the floor.
I don't know any other way to see this except through the eyes of his parents. I have a son. I know how anxious I feel when he's not home. I can't even comprehend him never coming home again.
I never want to.
Anxiety is the by-product of having kids that they don't tell you about. It's the one you don't read about in "What To Expect When You're Expecting", or Dr. Spock.
It's not in the small print.
We want our kids to be safe in the world, and realize that for the most part they are. But there's always a soundtrack, a white noise playing in the background of your thoughts that something horrible will happen or is happening to them when they're out of your sight.
Of course, we all have to live with a certain amount of denial or we could never get through the day. We'd never be able to cross a street for fear of getting hit by a car, or plug in a toaster for fear of being electrocuted. We choose to ignore the noise because it's just a silly thought. And it'll never happen.
Until it does.
I used to enjoy movies like Ransom or Without A Trace. Now I can't even watch them, because when I do all I think about is how my kids could disappear that fast.
From all accounts, Wes Leonard was a great kid on and off the court. My heart goes out to his friends and family, but most of all his parents.
Tonight I'll be saying a prayer for all of them. While his life was cut tragically short, his memory will live on forever in the hearts of everyone who knew him.
And every parent who didn't.
3 comments:
I'm at a loss for words.
Extremely tragic.
:(
I'm a "step-parent" to a 9 year old girl. Although I didn't give birth to her, I still feel all the anxiety that you describe, that a "parent" would feel when she is not with us.
You wrote this perfectly.
- so sad for his family.
Jeff, I remember you telling me once that you didn't think that when you had kids, you'd imagine them being hurt in a million different ways. And this story... ugh, tragic.
Sometimes when I'm driving with my nieces in the car I think, "What if I crashed right now and they died?" It's enough to paralyze a person. I don't think I'm cut out for kids.
The Wes story is heartbreaking. I heard about it on TV and was so sad for his family and friends. The only bright spot is the he got to do something he loved in his last moments.
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