Brother Trump's traveling salvation show

"So you say you want pre-existing coverage? You think women should be the ones to make decisions about their own bodies? Does healthcare for all sound like a scary, socialist plan? Are those criminal, diseased, ruthless immigrants gunning for your job and your family? And speaking of gunning, are you afraid you're not gonna be able to keep yours?"

Well step right up my gullible, naive, uneducated, frightened Republican brothers and sisters. Brother Trump's traveling salvation show has rolled into the capital to deliver the sweet, magical elixir and oppressive, progress-reversing legislation that's will cure what ails you.

If you saw the shithole president's speech tonight, you know he reached new heights (lows?) of deception and dishonesty, throwing falsehoods and lies to his base like they were paper towels in Puerto Rico.

Everything he said he would do is a lie. Everything he said he has done is a lie. Everytime he said he cared he lied. But of course, his base ate it up—after all, the whole show was for them. Never before (and hopefully never again) has the SOTU speech been turned into a reality show like it was tonight.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for cancer-ridden Rush Limbaugh. You're getting this Presidential Medal of Freedom not for being the racist, misogynist, Parkinson-victim mocking tub of human waste you are, but as a sympathy play because you'll be taking the big dirtnap soon."

Cue Republican toadie senator applause.

"You say you want to see black voter support? Step right up and let me give a 14-year old black child a school scholarship (I'm glad she got it - that's not the point). Need more proof do ya? Let me direct your attention to the 100-year old Tuskeegee airman who just this very day I promoted to brigadier general (I'm glad he got it - that's not the point). But I'm just getting started."

"Sure I've disrespected veterans, trashed gold star families and mocked generals, but that's all yesterday's news. Just to show I mean it, let me surprise this wife and child with their husband and father who they think is on a tour of duty, but he's right here! How about that?!"

All that was missing were keys to new Pontiacs under all the seats.

The con was on full display tonight. Nancy Pelosi, usually calm and composed without showing her cards was clearly pissed at the sheer volume of lies coming out of the unstable genius. So much so she ripped up her advanced copy of his speech the moment it was over. Definitely one of the high points of the evening.

It's been a dark three years, and it's going to be an even darker few months til the election. But the good news is come November, this traveling snake oil show will be doing what they all do eventually. Leave town.