Not bowled over

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, the Super Bowl wasn’t just a game. It was an annual event for those of us who couldn’t tell a touchdown from a turnover, but could debate for hours whether a talking baby or a chimpanzee in a suit made for a better ad. Super Bowl commercials were legendary, a showcase of daring, innovative creativity where brands threw millions at the screen and somehow made it work.

Now it’s like watching a billion-dollar trust fund kid start a DJ career—so much money, so little talent.

I remember the days when a Super Bowl ad had cultural staying power. The best ones lived rent-free in our minds for decades. They weren’t just commercials; they were events. Apple’s “1984,” the Budweiser frogs, Old Spice turning deodorant into performance art.

Fast forward to today, and we’re left with a parade of warmed-over celebrity cameos, desperate attempts at nostalgia and punchlines that land with all the grace of a buffalo on roller skates.

Comedy in Super Bowl commercials used to be sharp, fresh. Now brands think if they just jam enough random celebrities into a 30-second spot, hilarity will ensue. Instead, we get a confusing mess where the product is an afterthought, wedged between three forced catchphrases and an overpaid A-lister who’s clearly wondering if this is worth the humiliation.

Case in point: This year’s crop of commercials felt like an AI-generated script where the prompt was simply “funny?” with a shrug emoji. The formula is painfully predictable—add one washed-up 90s star, sprinkle in a nostalgia reference and season liberally with over-the-top CGI. Voila! You’ve just burned $7 million on airtime for something people will forget before halftime.

And yet, amidst the wasteland of uninspired content, Jeep’s commercial featuring Harrison Ford stuck with me. Here’s a guy who can sell anything by simply showing up and looking vaguely disinterested. But somehow, Jeep managed to turn that into gold, blending his authenticity with the product in a way that felt natural, honest and actually enjoyable.

There used to be a time when people pretended to watch the game just so they could see the commercials. But that era is dead. Now, it’s just a wasteland of corporate money pits where ambition goes to die.

I suppose there’s always hope for next year, but let’s be real: the golden age of Super Bowl commercials is over. The magic is gone, replaced by desperate marketing teams green-lighting anything that might go viral, regardless of quality.

Until then, we’ll have to settle for watching the actual game—which will definitely be more exciting than watching another forced celebrity endorsement do their impression of a Tesla—crash and burn.