Gonna take a Lotto love

Tonight's Mega Millions jackpot is $266 million. Like many of you I've already started planning what I'm going to do with the money. And as I make my list, it's plain to me I'll definitely do more good with it than you will.

Which is probably reason enough why I should win.

Don't shake your head like that. We both know you. You'll be selfish and materialistic.

I however will embrace philanthropy with my newfound fortune.

First I'll build a church youth center (named after my children of course). I'll start a non-profit organization to feed and house the homeless. I will sponsor science contests to expedite technological discoveries. I will create a research grant to encourage breakthroughs in deadly diseases that strike children. Small children.

See? There's so much good to be done.

Of course, I will need a base of operations to do all this good from. A big base, with lots of rooms so I can dedicate individual ones to each of my charitable efforts. I'll need even more rooms for the staff. This big base should come with a really nice pool and tennis courts, which will provide ways to relieve the stress that comes from doing so much good.

I assume every once and awhile I'll need to get away from it all and clear my head so I can come back refreshed and ready to do more good. Perhaps a nice, luxury car - since they keep out the sound better to reduce stress - would be a small, necessary expenditure.

Naturally I'll need to compare the good I'm doing with the good other like minded, financially able people in the world are doing. A private jet to travel to and from different continents will probably be the most efficient way to meet and compare the goodness of our deeds. I hear the Gulfstream V is a very efficient plane. And if it's not the most efficient, I can always purchase a second one, so I will have two efficient jets to choose from.

In the event no one wins the money tonight, it'll only be because God wants it to rollover so I can win more.

You know, to do more good.

UPDATE: The bad news is I didn't win. Which of course means less good will be done in the world. The good news is I have a new best friend who lives in Pico Rivera.

I just don't know his name yet.